Humari Adhuri Kahani

Off late, I have started to realize that I can glorify pain. We do not realize the power that pain and loneliness give us. Some of my best written pieces are when I was not in a happy mood. Pain changes you profoundly. Intense, debilitating, saddening emotions often bring out great words. Pain works for writers, it really does. And that doesn't mean always that the writer writes about his/her own pain, quite often it is a conglomeration of what they observe around that saddens them.

Pain strikes when you are unprepared and is often glorified through words, songs, written letters. The saddest of songs have but naturally come out when the writer was sad and felt every emotion described in the song.

I don't know if this is a shayari or whatever. Maybe totally random. I love writing in Hindi, but emotions come out only rarely in this language. Today was one such day.

I like being happy, but these days, my colleague, a very senior Professor tells me, "Aayesha, angoor ki tarah raho, kismish mat bano. Smile always! I like you cheerful." She is such a sweetheart, I tell you.

Anyways, I wrote this in a jiffy, but it turned out to be nice, I didn't want to backspace all that I had written, so sharing it on my baby blog, who is ever-listening to my ramblings. This is probably the best I have written in Hindi-Urdu mix: My personal opinion.

"Kaise dil tod ke chale jate ho,

Kaise muh mod lete ho,

Kaise keh dete ho behrehmi se, "Mujhse koi pyaar nahi karta",

Areh meri taraf dekha toh hota!

Mujhe uljhan me daal ke,

Kaise khush reh lete ho?
Niwale yahan nigle nahi jaate,
Aur tum wahan dawatein karte ho?

Bichadna hi tha toh mile hi kyun?

Haath chodna hi tha, toh thaama hi kyun?

Sheeshe ke the kya sab vaade,

Toot gaye ek hawa ke jhonke se?

Tumhe yaad karna galat hai,

Fir kyun yeh galti achi lagti hai?

Bin bole, tumse baatein karna,

Kyun lagta hai sahi?

Guzara tha jo sath waqt,

Sadiyan thi ya kuch pal?

Kabhi lagta hai unn me zindagi jee lun,

Aur kabhi lagta hai kuch lamhe the, buss lamhe the woh!

Na bhulo mujhe,

Na jamne do dhool meri yaadon par,

Main toh dhoop ki kirne banke bhi sataungi tumhe,

Baarish mein bhigaungi,

Behti hawaon se baal sehlaungi.

Tumhare shabdon se toh pyar tha hi,

Apni khamoshiyon se bhi pyar karna seekha diya tumne!

Teri kami bhi hai,

Aur tumse hi poori bhi hoon,

Tumhare sath jeena shayad mushkil hota,

Tumhare bina jeena namumkin hai.

Bahana meri asthiyon ko kishton me, harr sheher me,

Hai yeh iltejaa,

Wo kabhi akela na mehsoos karein kahin,

Mere fanaah hone k baad.

Kabhi lagta hai saara likh du,

Jo hota hai mehsoos,

Par kaagaz reh jata hai khaali,

Isse behtar kya karun bayaan mera haal!

Toot ke, bikhar ke, marr toh hum bichadte waqt hi gaye the,

Warna saans lene ko zinda hona thodi hi kehte hai.

Reh gayi humari kahani adhuri,

Jaise hum..."