Winning Mindset

Winning is about being alive.

Winning pushes you to further replicate more wins!

Winning is always something that keeps you grounded, never gets to your head.

For me, winning begins when you think you would not live through the day, yet you do! 

Winning is, people respecting you, for what you are and not for what you pretend to be.

Winning to me, is to see my parents happy because of me. Winning is when they say, they are proud to have a daughter like me.

Winning is not only when you are receiving, but also when you are giving; giving such that the person can never repay you back.

Winning is not when you are the best for once, it is getting better each day!

Winning is not winning materialistic things, but winning a valuable possession like someone's trust.

Winning is when you realize that the things you are passionate about are not random, but they are your calling.

Winning is not losing faith and getting discouraged, but believing that you are born to win and someday you WILL!

Winning is being stubborn and knowing what will work and what won't! 

Winning is being passionate about your work, deeply liking what you do! It is not excelling at everything; but being known as THE BEST for what you love doing!

Winning is not letting anything that happened yesterday affect you today.

Winning is not about today, it is about being a visionary. It is about creating a better world, so that people remember you even after you die.

‘Your attitude, not your aptitude will determine your altitude,’ quotes Zig Ziglar!

I think the winner is the chef who takes the same ingredients as everyone else and produces the best results.

Bruce Lee quoted, ‘Forget about winning and losing; forget about pride and pain. Let your opponent graze your skin and you smash into his flesh; let him smash into your flesh and you fracture his bones; let him fracture your bones and you take his life. Do not be concerned with escaping safely. Lay your life before him.’ Winning is also giving a tough fight!

Winning has such an emotional impact on us, does it not?  What I believe is that it's great to build a winner's mindset instead of obsessing about winning.

Winning should not be to feed your ego and boost self worth, it may sure propel you to temporary victories but will still not take you anywhere worthwhile.

Is winning only what happens when someone else loses? Do you have to finish first every time you play a game in order to feel like you have won?

Some believe, ‘If I don't finish first then I'm a loser. Even if I finish 2nd I am still the first loser!’ With such a superficial mindset, you have more to lose than gain!

I have always viewed “winning” as a competitive attachment. After much speculation, what I have found is a whole new world where life is lighter, the word “win” doesn’t need to exist.

My true “wins” are inside of me, not external of me.

If you win the race and stand alone – have you succeeded? In order to feel a real sense of achievement, you need to reach inside and align your goals with what feels right for you.

Often our aspirations are based on outside expectations resulting in hollow victories. All of us have the ability to listen to ourselves – to hear what is really going on inside. 

The problem is, with the outside noise of life with all its expectations and assumptions it drowns out our inner voice. And we proclaim ourselves as LOSERS.

My idea of winning is not limited to just collecting trophies and certificates; it is a broader spectrum. I believe each of us is a WINNER! We just don’t celebrate the fact.

This post is exclusively written for ‘WINNING for India Today Conclave 2014’ Contest powered by Indiblogger. For more details visit http://www.indiatodayconclave.com

Why So Serious?

Source: Indiblogger

If you are faced upon a question like ‘What kind of a person you are – serious/funny?’

Many of us would say, ‘I can be both funny and serious, depending on the situation. Some situations such as work or my college call for a mature demeanor, social situations are of course okay to have a sense of humor!’

But some people are never funny at all, they are over dramatic, level headed and serious all the time; when you look at them you feel, ‘Yeh banda, kab zindagi khulke jeeyega?!’

Eric Morcambe once said, ‘You don't have to be miserable to be serious.’

Some people fail to understand it however!

They say ‘Laughter is the best medicine.’

We cannot really laugh at life nor can we always be serious at life. Since we do have many serious people all around us to help keep our morals up, then I would have to say I would like to see more funny people to remind us to smile much more often. Laughter helps us to age more graciously!

I have met a few serious people, I wish to cite a couple of incidences, although serious and sarcastic, it taught me some serious lesson, while the other kept me wondering and laughing at the kind of people we are surrounded by!

***************

A friend of mine had to host an American lady, she was busy so had requested me pick her up. ‘She has toured the whole of India. My office has asked me to take her to a tour of Mumbai! She is a serious type, won’t take any nonsense, so I request you to be serious too. No silly questions to her,’ she had warned me.

I landed up at the airport well in time with her nameplate, searching for her!

There she was, geeky spectacles, all grim look on face.

I realized when I saw her, iski #ConditionSeriousHai!

As a part of exchanging pleasantries, I began a conversation with her. ‘Hello maam! My friend is busy in some office work; she will be meeting you directly for lunch.’

‘Okay,’ she replied.

I wondered, ‘She just has an ‘okay’ to tell me. Duh!’

To keep her involved I asked her, ‘So maam how did you like my country?’

The American replied, ‘oh, it’s a great country with solid ancient history and immensely rich with resources.’

By this time I realized, here replies were pretty crisp. She was in no lighter mood. 

I further interrogated her, ‘How did you find Indians?’

Immediate came her reply, ‘Indians? I didn’t meet a single Indian!’

I couldn’t take her behavior now. I snapped at her, ‘Maam, you’re in India. People here are called Indians! Who else did you meet here then?’

She said, ‘In Kashmir, I met Kashmiris, In Punjab, I met Punjabis! I met Muslims, Hindus, Christians, Jains and many more, but not a single Indian I met.’

In her seriousness, a foreigner told me the stark fact about my country. My head hung in shame. It was a very thought provoking experience; we are scattered into religions, castes, sub castes, all the way forgetting that we are Indians first!

However she later said, ‘You have a very diverse nation! And you people still bind it and preserve the heritage. Hats off!’ She took exit with a smile!

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We always need the comforting aural cue of laughter, sometimes silly people provide it to us!

I had a friend Saloni, extremely serious always, placing serious questions before me. I would end up telling her, ‘Oye, Saloni, please excuse me! Don’t torture me!’

I still remember anyone having got to talk to her would repent it later. People would literally run away when they would see her approach.

She would ask questions like:

‘Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?’

‘Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?’

‘How come abbreviated is such a long word?’

‘If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?’

‘Seriousness is a very serious disease; you will make me like you, one day! People call you sadoo - a bore! Why do you have to be like this ALL THE TIME, Saloni? Your mind isn't so much twisted as badly sprained. Teri #ConditionSeriousHai!’ I would often tell her!

***************

“Who made the rule that life has to be so serious?

Seriousness is the last refuge of the shallow!
Get a life, smile broadly, sing loudly,
Paint your rooms in bold colors,
Search every rabbit hole for a magical white bunny,
Wear a purple coat with a red hat - dance lightly with life.

The moment you start seeing life
As non-serious, a playfulness,
All the burden on your heart disappears.
All the fear of death, of life,
Of love - everything disappears.”

****************

If we do not have humor, laughter and fun in our lives, it looks just like sweets with no sugar.  Jokes provide us broad vision to see the events of our daily life in hilarious way. Sometimes very serious situations convert into humorous situations like; worse political condition of country, financial problems etc. We can use humor to convey our view points on very sensitive issues. This laughter helps us to lessen the pain. People use humor to drop the light on hidden truths of the society in a constructive manner too which sometimes is not possible in a direct way.

***This post is exclusively written for ‘Condition Serious Hai!’ Contest powered by Cadbury 5 Star and Indiblogger. Details here: the Cadbury 5 Star Facebook page

The awesomely funny ad :D

Source: Youtube

Life - A Bunch Of Significant Turns!

I gazed over the picturesque Mobor Beach, feeling the faint breeze against my face - eyes shut and the white sand warm between my bare toes. The place is beautiful beyond belief, but it is still unable to ease the grief I feel as I remember the last time I was here.

I married Fred right here on this spot three years ago to the day. Dressed in a simple white dress, miniature white roses attempting to tame my long dark curls, I had been happier than I ever was! Fred was even less formal but utterly irresistible in his creased summer trousers and a loose white cotton shirt. His dark hair slightly ruffled and his eyes full of adoration as his looked at his bride to be - me.

The justice of the peace read our vows as we held hands and laughed at the sheer joy of being young, in love, together and staying in a five star resort on the beach in South Goa. The resort was built in traditional grandeur and was designed to blend colonial extravagance with exotic surroundings. Life was taking a significant turn as we visualized the upcoming years blissfully stretching ahead of us. We planned where we would live, the travelling we would do together, babies-

I said, ‘Two.’

He said, ‘Four!’ So we compromised on three! (Two girls and a boy of course)

It was all so certain! But that seems such a long time ago now. A lot changed in a few years. Three years to the day and we have returned, though this time not for the beach side marriage but for one of its equally popular quickie - divorce.

What was I left to do? I questioned myself in pain and regret. Maybe, move on, find new dreams and start life afresh. How could this beautiful place, with exotic surroundings, an eternity of blue sea and endless sands be a place for my agony?

A man stood watching me from the edge of the palm trees. He couldn't take his eyes off me, he figured out my pain maybe and my far gaze made him guess that I was waiting for something - or someone.

He was attracted to me, I assumed. He was a photographer, the heavy DSLR camera hanging from his neck made me realize that!

‘It is my looks or my sheer loneliness that’s luring him?’ I thought.

I sensed him approaching me even before I turned around. I was aware of him standing there, staring at me all the while and for the first time I felt strangely calm about being observed. I looked at him and felt the instant spark of connection; I had only experienced once before. He walked slowly towards me and we held each other's gaze. It felt like meeting a long lost friend - not a stranger! Another significant turn!

Later, sitting at the resort bar, sipping cocktail we began to talk - first pleasantries, quality of the food and friendliness of the locals. Our conversation was strangely hesitant. Onlookers, however, detected the subtle flirtation as we mirrored each other's actions and spoke directly into each other's eyes.

Only later, after the alcohol had had its loosening effect, did the conversation deepen. We talked of why we were here and finally, I opened up about my heartache of the past year and how events had led me back to the place where I had married the only man I loved ever.  I told him of things that had been locked deep inside me, able to tell no one. I told him how I had felt after I had lost my first baby.

‘I was six months pregnant and the happiest I had ever been when the pains had started. A significant turn life was taking. I was soon going to be a mum! I was staying with my mother as Fred was working out of town. He hadn't made it back in time. The doctor had said it was just one of those things that we could try again. But how could I when I couldn't even look Fred in the eye? I hated him then, for not being there, for not getting hurt as much as me but most of all for looking so much like the tiny baby boy that I held for just three hours before they took him away?’ I wept.

‘All through the following months I withdrew from my husband, family and friends. Not wanting to recover from the pain I felt - that would have been a betrayal of my son. At the funeral I refused to stand next to Fred and the next day I left him. Yes, I left him. A heartache that changed me and drove a wedge through my strongest ties, broke even the deepest love,’ I continued.

Looking up, I could see my pain reflected in the man's eyes. For the first time in months I didn't feel alone, I felt the unbearable burden begin to lift from me, only a bit but it was a start. I began to believe that maybe I had a future after all and maybe it could be with this man, with his kind eyes, wet with our shared tears.

We had come here to dissolve our marriage but maybe there was hope to relive our dreams again! I stood up and took Fred by the hand and led him away from the bar towards the beach where we had made our vows to each other three years ago. Tomorrow I will cancel the divorce; tonight we will work on renewing our promises. Yet again a significant turn to a happy future!

This post is part of A significant turn.. on WriteUpCafe.com

It's OKAY To Say 'NO!'

Is your plate piled high with obligations? Are you trying to be sweet to everyone just by saying a ‘yes’ to each work allotted by them at the expense of yourself?

Why say ‘no’?

The number of worthy requests isn't likely to lessen, and you can't add more time to your day. At the end of the day, you will find yourself doomed to be over committed.

Saying no isn't necessarily cruel and selfish. When you say no to a new commitment, you're honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you'll be able to devote high-quality time to them.

Saying no can allow you to try new things. Just because you helped them once, doesn't mean you have to do it forever. People can find their own way at the end!

Agreed, saying ‘no’ is a hard thing. Since, we don't like to introduce negativity into the conversation, cause a possible confrontation, or have someone think less of us because we don't agree. That said it's often important to turn things down. 

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> If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well as your feelings about saying "yes" to another commitment, do a cost-benefit analysis, and then get back to them with a yes or no.

> If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time (or are having trouble accepting that you don’t), it’s fine to say, “I can’t do this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make. This way you’ll still be partially involved, but it will be on your own terms.

> People are often afraid to be rude and severing relationships and burning bridges! But be firm -- not defensive or overly apologetic -- and polite. This gives the signal that you are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.

> If you decide to tell the person you’ll get back to them, be matter-of-fact and not too promising. If you lead people to believe you’ll likely say "yes" later, they’ll be more disappointed with a later "no."

> If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.

> “I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”

> “No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say a ‘no’! We build up too many barriers in our mind to saying no. These barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think so much about saying no and just say it outright. You’ll be surprised when the reception isn’t half as bad as what you imagined it to be.

> Make a counter-offer. Sometimes, you've got to say no for your own good, but that doesn't mean you aren't interested. Suggest spending less time helping out, or offer to do something else in a similar vein when you have free time.

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Handle problem requests with bluntness. It's best to be civil and polite, but sometimes, no matter what you do, people won't respect your kindness. If someone keeps trying to crack holes in all of your honest excuses, and pesters you to explain yourself when there's no further explanation you can give, it's time to put your foot down. The next time this person asks you for something you don't want to do, say “No, I can't” or “No, I won't.” There's no need to say anything else. When they ask you to explain, ask them what part of the word “NO” they don't understand. *winks*

UK Calling ~ Overseas Education!

To me, engineering is exciting and fun, not geeky – because engineers are literally changing the world today.  It is my aim to contribute to the development of the latest electronics and technology. Already pursuing a Masters in Electronics and Tele-communications, I aim to pursue a PhD soon.

Pursuing a PhD is not a cakewalk. It is one of the highest academic degrees. It requires a thorough grounding in the principles and the requisite specialist knowledge and skills to develop, manage and adapt current systems. Doing a PhD is an exciting, challenging and rewarding experience and forms the foundation for a scientific career.

It is important that before enrolling for such a program, you must be focused on a specific area of research and must have a strong background for research methodologies.

The UK is an attractive, dynamic destination for candidates pursuing their PhD degrees. It is home to some of the world’s most prestigious universities and distinguished faculty. A PhD UK degree can be the start to many career opportunities. It provides post-graduates with a competitive edge to enter into careers, whether in academia, government, research, non-profit organizations, or private sector agencies.

PhD UK programs attract many of the best minds from across the globe, creating an environment that is intellectually and culturally stimulating, challenging candidates to grow personally and professionally as they are able to create a vast network of professionals in the field.

Since, my area of interest was Telecommunications, there were not many universities I could target. After a bit of research, I found an institute that sufficed my choice of course; Bangor University, ranked No 2 in the UK for Research in Electrical and Electronic Engineering.

The world of telecommunications is one of the fastest developing in the areas of science and technology. A strong emphasis is on mobile and wireless communications and the latest standards in these areas (LTE, WiMax, IEEE 802 family of standards, etc.) I wish to study both the theoretical foundations of all related technologies but also do extensive practical assignments in several related areas. At Bangor University, I plan to learn from experts, some cutting edge research in a range of subjects and get published in the top academic journals.

The study of wireless optical systems is multidisciplinary involving a wide range of areas including: optical design, optoelectronics, electronic design, channel modeling, communications and information theory, modulation and equalization, wireless optical network architectures among many others.

To earn a PhD degree, a student must demonstrate breadth of knowledge, give evidence of superior scholarship and mastery of a specialized field, and must demonstrate his/her ability to do significant and relevant research. In addition, the student must conceive, write and defend a PhD dissertation representing a significant and original contribution to current academic extensive research as demonstrated by a public dissertation defense and publication in established peer-reviewed academic conferences and/or journals, also present the same before esteemed panel of experts.

A plan of study should be designed by the advisor and student as early as possible after admission. A copy of the plan of study must be on file in the student’s folder and should be consulted during each registration period.

UK is known for its rich culture and history. This country has students coming from China, India, USA, Germany and France. The students here are from different cultures and are respected for that. London by itself has 30000 courses to offer to students coming from different parts of the world. It is second to the USA as a much sought after study abroad destination.

The quality and standard of UK’s education system is well known worldwide in the student community as well as among employers. The exposure to the English language and rich culture offer a good study environment as well as a good social life.

Program Coursework~

In addition to the research and dissertation, typical doctoral degrees in telecommunications might include courses in the following:

> Network performance

> Queuing theory

> Digital transmission

> Telephone system management

> Photonic communications

The School of Electronic Engineering of Bangor University has two main research themes:

> Optoelectronic Devices and Systems (ODS),

> Organic Electronics (OE)

Popular Career Options~

A doctoral degree in telecommunications prepares you for careers with manufacturing companies, cable providers and cell phone carriers. Telecommunications Ph.D.s can open employment opportunities in some of the following jobs:

Professor

Researcher

Communications consultant

Telecommunications executive

Network supervisor

Career Info

With a PhD in telecommunication, you could be employed in the fast-growing network and computer systems administration field.

Research Areas~

> Optical Communications with research interests in:

> Advanced optical communications systems for long-haul core networks

> Optical networking and future all-optical networks

> Optical and electrical signal processing

> Research Opportunities

Here are a few snapshots of my dream University:

When you love doing something, expand your horizons in it. Master it! I wish I am able to materialize this dream soon and make a difference!

Source of images: http://www.bangor.ac.uk/eng/

Topic: If you could study/specialize in any subject of your choice in UK, what would it be? Where and Why?

This post is exclusively written for Knowledge Is Great contest powered by Indiblogger. For more details check, http://knowledgeisgreat.in/

Kya Khamoshi Ko Zubaan Dena Zaruri Hai?

Last week I and Karan, who blogs at The K-Factor invited each other to do guest posts on each other's blogs. I had given him a theme, about love which gives a message to society. Here is what he came up with. You’ll relate to it, I am sure!

And he wanted me to write something in Hindi, but romantic! Here is an excerpt of it.

To read the whole shayari, you can see here . Hope you enjoy reading it.

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Bahane se tumhari baat karte hai,

Harr pal tumhe yaad karte hai,
Aapke khayalon mein muskuraya karte hai,

Itni baar to aap saans bhi nahi lete honge,

Jitni baar aap humein yaad aate hai!

Aapki muskaan humari kamzori hai,

Keh naa paana humari majburi hai,

Aap kyun nahi samajhte iss khamoshi ko,

Kya khamoshi ko zubaan dena zaruri hai?

***************

P.S: Thank you, Karan! It was a pleasure to have you here in my space! We should do this often ;)

Book Review #1 - The Guardian Angels

The book blurb makes it eminently clear that it belongs to the romance genre and goes on to describe the personalities of the main protagonists Aditya and Radha.

He is the son of a billionaire; she is the daughter of a socialist, he is quiet and unassuming; she is a firebrand and spirited. And given this kind of background, the reader is immediately piqued as to how love blossomed between these two diametrically opposite people. I know the old cliché, opposites attract, but we all know that is not quite true in real life.

Destiny is a word that’s very close to my heart and when I read on the blurb of Rohit Gore’s The Guardian Angels I simply couldn’t miss the opportunity of reading this book. Though the plot sounds very Bollywood inspired, it is totally worth it!

The book begins with how Adi and Radha become friends when they were twelve years old due to a bullying incident which changes their lives forever. Right from the get go, both of them feel a unique connection with each other and even at that young age realize that this was just not friendship. As time goes by and as they get to know each others’ lives better, they clearly see that they populate entirely different universes. But fate and coincidences manage to conspire in a manner in which their parallel universes intersect each other. There is nothing else than read with bated breath that the reader can do waiting in anticipation to see how the story would unfold. And on more than one occasion both of them end up saving each others’ lives (at times literally).

It is easy to see how they always gravitate towards each other in their thoughts. What starts as friendship in their childhood soon becomes something more which neither of them are ready to put a name to. I loved the banter between Adi and Radha. There was this passion in their exchange. There was no Adi without Radha and vice versa.

Shuttling between Mumbai and Michigan, the story takes us through Adi’s and Radha’s lives from when they are twelve years old till they are thirty years old, almost two decades. The author has managed to subtly weave multiple events from the social milieu of the time period in which this story is set in. The beauty of his craft is that he manages to weave these events happening in India very subtly but very strongly into the narrative. He could have chosen the easy path of making it a normal love story like any other, but the fact that he chose this period and he chose these events speaks volumes for his smarts in capturing the audiences’ imagination. At many places the story is very emotional and romantic, dreamy yet realistic. 

And another thing which speaks volumes for the craft of the author is the fact that he shifts the narrative between Adi and Radha quite equally. Almost half the story is told in first person where Radha maintains a journal/diary where she records her feelings. And given that she talks to the diary in first person means that these parts of the story unfold from her viewpoint. That to me is a masterstroke which Rohit Gore has achieved with this book.

The well researched characters have enough strength to draw out a smile and also a couple of tears through the course of the story.  It doesn’t take much time to finish this book but it is one you’d definitely not regret reading. This book has Cricket, friendship and romance but it also has socialist V/S capitalist ideologies, a balanced treatment of friendship and love, but the most surprising part was the hold that author had on the story all through the book. There were many moments the story could have broken off into a lame usual boy meets girl, but Rohit continued to maintain my interest in this well written and paced story.

Not even at any point of the story I felt it was unrealistic or dragged; whatever was said and written was very relevant to explain each other’s helpless situation and was engrossing too. The ending though was not a happy-ever-after (which I always prefer :P) but it was very a sensible one!

On the whole if anyone wants to read a realistic romance with believable characters, they can easily go for it! Gore has carefully weaved a great chemistry between the two protagonists. The fiery banter, the unspoken jealousy and hidden tenderness will not only engross you but make you smile thinking of someone you once knew or know.

Rohit Gore's writing style is easy and engaging. It was very easy to fly through the pages. He has done magic with the back blurb and cover design of this book. The blurb is amazingly written which gives you enough hints for a yet another different love story. The title and the cover design go hand in hand which caught my eyes at the very first sight.

This is not a story which travels on a single plot. It has many dimensions and colors. I loved the narration and its simplicity. The author has not mentioned in the story that Aditya & Radha are a couple or are dating but as you keep reading you understand the feeling and get the depth of their feelings. It’s the perfect title for this novel I feel.

So much details yet so fast the story spanning over two decades covering life of two people contained in 328pages .This is real stuff, all praise to writer and his style that he achieved such a feat of weaving a story so compelling. May I keep getting surprises from your future upcoming books too.  ;)

The Author

When he had written to me asking to review this book, he had mentioned a line “Dear Ayesha, I hope you like this novel a lot!’ and I am so glad that he stuck to it. It really didn’t disappoint me.

He is a novelist based in Pune and this is his fourth novel after Circle of Three, Focus Sam and A Darker Dawn. I haven’t read them but I am looking forward to reading them in near future. He is also a management consultant with an IT major. You can read more about him at his site http://www.rohitgore.com/.

My Ratings – 4/5. 
It’s quite a good read. I won’t be surprised if I start reading it again after few months! :D

Book – The Guardian Angels

Author – Rohit Gore

Genre – Fiction  Romance

Publisher – Grapevine India

Published in – July 2013

ISBN 13 – 9789381841280

ISBN 10 – 9381841284

Pages – 328

Price – INR 125/-

This book review is a part of The Write Tribe's Book Review Programme

Check: http://writetribe.com/the-guardian-angels/