Ah, you will be turning 26 this
November! Although it isn't quite a lot of time, since 21, but you were a
different person, 4 years ago, mentally at-least. I wanted to write a letter to
you; a letter full of truth, confusion and hope - raw and authentic and not a
rosy one. This is you from the future, sailing in to drop a few bombs of
knowledge on that you will wish you knew back then. This is what I could have
written to that girl I was, and to any other girl who is feeling overwhelmed by
life as a young woman growing up in today’s world.
In these 4 years, I’ve seen you
fall into the deepest of lowest and I’ve also witnessed your rise, your
strength, your glory. At times you have impressed me, you have really
left me speechless by your boldness, your efficiency. At other times, I have
wept for you. I have bled for you. I have felt for you. I have wanted to move
mountains and slay dragons just to console you & take away your pain. You
have had moments of unspeakable fear, of crippling anxiety. There have been
times when you stopped believing, when your heart - blessings to it - was
shattered by life circumstances. You have been through it; some things no one
even knows.
You just turned 21 - milestone!
Woot, woot! Feels like a woman, no? Just got done with B.E, with what-to-do next
lying ahead, life still feels good as you finished what you didn't want to take
up! Four years went by, didn't they?
And this isn't going to be the
most flowery representation of what lies ahead of you. Life is about to churn
you up. And it still does to me! But you ought to stay calm, as you cannot do
anything better.
You will finish your Masters in
the next two years, with wonderful opportunities coming your way. And then as
you look back, at the journey from wanting-to-become a 'doctor' to a 'professor',
you would still be content with life. And you know what? Your students will
adore you to bits!
Disappointments from people and friends are going to
be the best thing that would've happened to you because you're going to engross
yourself in work and would try to do your best to be the best. Make
yourself a priority, in this phase.
You don't even know what a pure
soul you're because you won't treat anyone badly. From a waiter to a beggar, to
a taxi driver you'll love and respect everyone equally because you know the
value of being loved unconditionally without any labels.
You'll have everything you want
and some days you'll still feel bad but that's just the part of life. Don't
over think it.
Don’t be afraid to rest
sometimes. On the days where you are exhausted and just feel like you can’t
keep going, give yourself a break. Self care isn’t selfish, and as life
progresses you will need it even more. Take time to do the things you love because
they’re just as important as “work.”
If you feel alone at times,
talk to your mom she'll do anything to keep you happy, trust me - she's going to
be your biggest supporter. She is your best friend and wants only the good for
you, in fact, the best. Listen to her advice.
Develop the mindset that the
creator does not make any mistakes. Everything is going to happen as planned. Let
go, master that art. You will suck at it. But try to let go and not cling on to
what you are losing. Let shit go.
Btw, you will soon have a blog. Cool things will be
happening. You will get so many books to review, from authors. You will have a huge
bookshelf adorning your room! Your blog will lead you to meet Bollywood Biggies
for a day and even clicking pictures with them! You will get to attend Lakme
Fashion Week complementary passes for three continuous years and so many other
blogger events! You will get to see Rekha Bharadwaj and Kumar Sanu's live
performances!
Value Mama Papa, spend more
time, and talk more with them, rather than being busy in your phone always. You
will be blessed to have casual trips with family and friends often. You have
the best parents who never leave you with empty pockets and sad moods.
Pray often. Go to the gym,
don't neglect fitness. Read more!
You will have a cute baby girl
in your neighbour when you shift houses and she will be responsible for almost
turning your sadness to positivity, on tough days!
You will never truly know the
beauty of what lies ahead, should you have chosen to give up. Don't give up on
things that will take more time to come to you.
I know inside you’re not
feeling so glamorous. In a city full of chic, slim women you feel like you
stick out like a little fat sore thumb. You feel ugly and you are
conscious of the fact that almost everyone around has had a boyfriend, and you
never had a guy telling you ever that he liked you. You are probably thinking
you have some problem going on. But wait... a little sneak peek into the
future, hardly any of the girls you saw with boyfriends are with their
boyfriends now, even the ones you found so cute together and saw them as
"goals".
I know it feels like a boy will
never fancy you and you’ll often try to validate yourself. Your friends will
all be in relationships and you’ll feel left behind.
Yet, never feel sorry for yourself.
Which brings me to, please don’t stress about not having everything figured
out. The truth is you never will, but you will get better at accepting it in
time.
I know it doesn’t seem
like it, but you have so much more privilege than you have any clue about.
Practice gratitude every damn day. Count your blessings rather than
misfortunes. Don't surround yourself in negative energy, be less angry.
Don't regret something after it
meets a bad end, because at one point, it will be dearest to you and you would
want it badly at a point.
As the world gets bigger to
you, you will realize how small you are within it and how little anything you
do really matters. You are an imperceptible grain of sand in millennia and
millennia in a universe greater than anyone can imagine. So stop worrying so
much that you’ll make a mistake, because it’s not as big of a deal as you
think. Cherish your mistakes and learn from them.
Try choosing happiness often.
Choose your battles carefully.
The greatest skills you will
acquire over the next 4 years are recognizing the power of honesty, the
importance of compassion, and the incredible skill of patience. To be honest,
that last one is still something you struggle with!
You’re going to spend a lot of
time alone, which right now probably sounds terrible, bleaky, but it will
be exactly what you need.
You will face a lot of
rejections related to marriage, and job - based on religion, some due to lack of your own
preparation, some you will lose to luck. But never give up. Improve yourself
every day.
As I can see, you are almost
always fighting to get things that are your rights. I want you to take things
easy and learn to let go of things that are beyond your control. Because that
way you have lost things and people. Actually, they didn't belong to you in the
first place. Since what is given to you with full heart, you don't have to
yearn or fight for it. What is yours, stays. Remember this. Don't force
connections. Let the vibes come naturally.
Never allow yourself to become
any man's option. Wait till you have someone who has his life inside you, and
is ready to do what it takes when THE TIME comes.
Never hurry to fall for
someone, by getting in the worldly traps of "You have crossed the age, get
married", or a man saying sweet things. Take your time! Finding someone to
love you and be your life partner is not and never will be the answer.
There’s nobody coming to save you. You have to save yourself.
Don't depend on others often.
Be on your own. Shop alone, eat alone. Learn this. Love yourself enough to know
how well you deserve to be loved by someone. Enjoy your company before you
share your time with somebody else.
Memories... they are easy to
make. Please be sure who you choose to make them with, because they are almost
impossible to erase in time.
There will be times you will
ask yourself ’why me?’ The answer to that is simply, ‘why not you?’ Every
fucked up thing that has happened to you has made you me. Know that it’s
all going to happen the way it’s supposed to happen, just as the Universe
intends. I am far from perfect but I know based on everything that will happen
to you, I am now enriched with resilience, empathy and worldliness. Accept your
journey as it is.
You will become the girl you
always have been and you will let her shine through. I ignite these luminous
beacons of advice not so much to help guide you but rather reassure you that
everything is going to be ok.
I am so proud of you! XOXO.
Focus on joy, and chase your dreams… I’ll be watching, and I’ll be checking in.
Go get ’em.
Love
Always,
Aayesha.
