A Work In Progress!

We were supposed to have it all figured out by now, weren’t we?

We were supposed to know exactly what we wanted and exactly how to get it by now, isn’t that what we were told about being an adult? And then life happened.

As we got older we slowly realized that 95% of what we thought we were supposed to have figured out by now wasn’t anything close to what life is really about. Because the lives we are living are not finite. They are not written in stone. They are not stagnant. They are not about breaking through a certain threshold.

Our lives are one massive, gigantic, and sometimes overwhelming work in progress. There will never come a time when we are complete and finished human beings because the state of being complete and finished is the antithesis of what being human is all about.

Life is malleable. It is constantly throwing new things our way. Life is more a continuous learning experience than anything else. And, this is the way life will always be.

But this is not about how nothing is ever good enough or things are never finished. Products are finished. Books are finished. That project at work that everyone hated was finished. 

There will never be a time in this life where everything makes complete sense. There will never be a time in this life where we won’t struggle at least a little bit. There will never be a time in this life where we are finished working on ourselves. There will never be a time in this life where we have everything figured out. These things will never come to pass because existing consciously necessitates work.

There will always be things that we can get better at. There will always be things that challenge us. There will always be mistakes that we want to correct.

Though the idea of every person on this earth being a continual work in progress may seem daunting, it’s important to understand that this will always be the case. There is no finished state to a human being. And it is the act of understanding this reality that keeps us open to life and the possibilities that come from accepting the nature of being human.

The second we feel like we have everything figured out is the second that we no longer give life the chance to change our minds or enlighten us. The second we feel like we are no longer a work in progress is the second we stop making progress.

And the most progress is often made when we are among our hopes and dreams and side projects and things that inspire us and things we want to change for the better. It is among these things where life exists in its purest form. And it is among these things where we usually realize we are a work in progress and we will always be a work in progress.

As unsettling as this idea might be, it is surely one of life’s most important challenges to understand that everything about who we are is not finite and will continue to evolve and grow as time continues to pass. It would probably be a much easier existence if this wasn’t the case, but the world would be substantially worse off if our lives weren’t a continual work in progress.

My Advice To Indian Teenage Girls!

I wish I knew some of these things in my teens or early twenties, my life would have been completely different. It takes a great deal of understanding to assimilate this post. I hope it helps!

1. Don't be like men. You are different. You are unique. You are a female and there is a difference. What do you do when you see pigs lying in the gutter? Will you go lie with them or you clean the place and make it habitable for the rest of you? Trying to imitate men in the name of equality is not a way to be.

2. If you want to, imitate good men, men that are a good mix of masculine and feminine, men that you want to be the father of your kids. Would you be proud of a father who drinks, smokes, is always concerned about his looks, men who belittle other men, is critical of everything and is financially irresponsible or too much into money, career, competition etc. Don't be like men, be a woman which men want to be like, who is a safe place for men to come to when they are done fighting their battles, women whom even men look up to.

3. Ladies, learn to distinguish between different kinds of attention. You don't want to be someone's past time, you should be someone people show reverence for. When they see you, they are filled with love and respect. They want their daughters to be like you. They want to have you not just in their beds but in their homes, in their hearts, in their life forever. 

4. As a woman, do not pull others down on your way up. When you reach to the top, give your hand to pull other women up. A community of empowered women is much needed to raise the collective consciousness of the society as a whole. Every time you belittle a woman, you expose an insecure part of yourself, learn to work on it.

5. A major reason for attracting toxic partners and tolerate shit is your deep seated insecurities. Your self worth should not depend on how beautiful and successful you are, how many men find you beautiful, how popular you are. Just your existence is worth a million bucks, you don't need to be “something” to be worthy of love and respect. Do not tolerate disrespect, abuse, toxicity to compensate for your imagined shortcomings.

6. Acknowledge the quiet guy sitting in the corner who you think is boring and under confident. He could be the one for you, give him a chance. Try to communicate with all kinds of people, know them, first impression is often the wrong impression.

7. Shed all the concepts that the society taught you. Unlearn. One of which is a concept of “independence”. No one is completely independent, we are all inter-dependent on each other. Having an income is great but don't try to do anything and everything all by yourself, it is exhausting, ask for help whenever you need. Feeling unsafe? Ask your brother to drop you, want to lift an heavy object? Ask your husband, men opening doors for you? Appreciate. Asking for help will not take away your independence. Similarly, don't misuse your financial independence as an excuse to feel superior, being rebellious, immature and outspoken. Learn to use your intuition and wisdom in every situation. Learn balance of everything!

8. Don't tolerate mediocre things in life. Recognize the divinity within you. It has nothing to with size, color of your skin, clothes you wear, feminine is innate to our existence, our bodies are perfect ground for seeds of femininity to sprout, when in tune with our divinity, we are more at peace, more patient, more grounded, sensual, full of love, compassion, empathy. People can't help getting drawn towards us. No, it is not submission, not helplessness, not cowardice rather opposite, it is empowering, it is liberating, it is fearless way of living.

9. When in self doubt, look into the mirror and for once just once try to look beyond the physical, beyond your thin hairs and thick nose, beyond your saggy skin and bat wings, beyond your love handles and thunder thighs. Beyond the superficial color your skin, you are a divine being radiating colorful lights, encompassing the entire universe within you. You are just that, nothing less. See it, embrace it. Be it. 

Love. 

Haiku #25 ~ Life

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Long life or short life,

Each one of us is dying eventually,

So don't waste your time!

Book Review #136: The Second Life : An Anthology of 25 Life Changing Stories

Paperback: 224 pages

Publisher: Write India Publishers; first edition (10 October 2014)

Language: English

An awesome compilation of unique stories and they titled it so apt as 'The Second Life'. Take my words some characters of the stories will not leave you forever. All the writers have given their best work here, you will echo my views when you read the stories. I have a story named 'In The Classroom of Life' too. Here is the list of story names and their authors. 

Each story has its own flavour. While some are as sweet as a cold breeze, a few are upbeat and thought provoking. It is a highly recommended book with the right ingredients for everyone.

It's a collection of beautiful heart touching stories that can change even the reader's perspective about life. Only few books have this power, and this is one of them.

A particular story that stood out to me and stirred my soul was 'The Hug of Allah and Ishwar'. It left me wondering about the hypocrisy we live in. The religion that teaches us the way to ultimate peace, we use the same religion as a reason to kill. Shameful.

An inspiring book you must get. A worthy gift you can give to anyone. 

Ratings: 5/5

Why are relationships so demanding?

Relationships are demanding. Because :

1. EXPECTATIONS: Most people have unrealistic expectations from their relationship & are not ready to work on it when they see the red flags.

2. CONFLICT MANAGEMENT: When conflicts arise, people are less curious to listen to the other side’s concerns & learn from each other, rather they just want to win and prove they’re right.

3. SELF AWARENESS: The only way out of mutual wounding is to develop self-awareness, examine our childhood/teenage histories and the wounds they created, build tolerance, learn the language of effective communication. This process is empowering & liberating. Unintentionally we make our partner suffer for our past bad experiences.

4. 24/7 ROMANCE BUBBLE: Accept that it won’t be all romance and flowers — and enjoy the special moments you have.

5. TAKING THINGS FOR GRANTED: Once we feel comfortable in a relationship, we have a tendency to take everything for granted. We forget to do what it takes to express gratefulness and keep lovely moments fresh.

6. STAYING ON THE SAME PAGE: It can be hard to be on the same page at the same time. Communicate! This will help tremendously in the long run.

Give Her A Break! #HappyMothersDay

When I say that I need a break, I'm not talking about wanting a vacation or a treat as a reward for doing my job. Needing a break doesn't mean that I'm seeking a respite from my responsibilities or that I want to put my feet up. It means that I need a moment to feel like a human being in the midst of a relentless life where I don't belong to myself anymore; where I give my love and energy away, every moment of my existence, and can't figure out how to keep any for myself. I just need a few minutes to not be on edge, working my nerves and spirits raw for the safety and happiness and health of my kids. I just need a moment to remember who I am, to not feel worried and harried and invisible. I need a second to catch my breath, to make my own choices, to try to love myself, for a moment. My breaks might allow me to think my own thoughts for a few moments.

- A Mother

Motherhood is challenging. We love you, Moms. We do. And, thank you. For EVERYTHING. #HappyMothersDay

10 Lessons I Learnt From The Lock-down & Covid-19 Pandemic!

The first few days of the lock down were enjoyable, but as days went by, I’ve been feeling different degrees of anxiety, restlessness and despair. The prolonged lock down has been impacting our mental well-being in the face of a seemingly invisible pandemic. I’ve personally been disoriented, but here’s what I’ve learnt out of it:

1. The Art of Delegating & Prioritizing Tasks on a daily basis! This is a skill that I believe everyone should master. The problem is that many of us are trying to micromanage tasks and the people around us. But, micromanaging drains all your mental energy on tasks that don’t matter. By learning to delegate, you can free up your time and mental space for important tasks. Many of us lack the skill to prioritize. But, I learnt this art to increase productivity and output. I believe that the biggest reason why people fail at prioritizing tasks is that they lack daily planning. This is one thing I learnt in 2020 - plan daily, strike off tasks. Some days I do suck at it and am the most unproductive, but mostly I do try & accomplish what I have planned to do in a day. These skills were important to learn - as I am no longer all here & there in my head about finishing things and I exactly know what task is for which day.
2. Have a structure for your day in place. By this, I don’t mean you’ve got to be productive all the time. NO. But knowing the tasks and activities to be done sorts your head-space. It protects you against too much idle time, boredom, and feeling trapped within your own home.
3. Fear helps us to protect ourselves from threat or danger, and we’re facing a global pandemic. Fear is a natural and adaptive response, but do take breaks from fear triggers.
4. Balance your thinking & negative thoughts. Focus on the facts and let go of what you don’t know.
5. Be critical of your news consumption. This situation has made many of us obsessed with watching news & disease stats every now and then. Know that, less news intake is a whole lot more. Staying up to date is important, but getting too caught up in the media reports can be a trap. Misrepresented facts may actually increase anxiety.
6. Let’s be action oriented. There can be a rise in addictions, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, depression, loss of identity and function, and relationship difficulties. Prioritize your mental health, read and indulge in activities that help you release stress.
7. A LOT can be done from home. Until a couple of weeks ago, working from home did not even seem like an option to most people. Until there was no other choice. And then it occurred to us, how almost everything that we did in the office can be done at home.
8. Buying less is possible. Save more. Lock down has posed a threat to many people’s salaries and work security. I suddenly realized I just stopped spending money unnecessarily on Nykaa, Amazon, etc. Lock down made it easier to tell the difference between the things I WANT and the things I NEED. Also given the oncoming recession, it is important to not spend on unimportant items.
9. I learnt professional skills & upskilled myself. Organizations like Coursera have been offering several free certification courses to people during the lockdown period. Make the most of them.
10. I learnt the ability to appreciate true sense of freedom. When news about the lock down in Wuhan started circulating in January, the measures taken by the Chinese government seemed draconian. It seemed impossible that these rules would soon apply to all of us, here in India! This unprecedented state has made us appreciate all of the little things that made up our lives before all this started. We were free to get a haircut, go to the gym, buy groceries & much more. We were free to buy coffee made by a stranger. We were free to visit our family and see our friends whenever we pleased. This lock down has taught me how valuable and indispensable this personal autonomy is.

Stay grounded in the present, and reach out to others when needed. The world as we know it will never be the same, and I hope neither will we. If we are privileged enough to survive this, let’s hope we break from the past and enter the world anew, carrying a fresh perspective and a greater sense of appreciation, for everything we have.

Book Review #132 : Ramayana – The Game of Life: Radiate Confidence

Title: Ramayana – The Game of Life: Radiate Confidence (Book 5)

Author: Shubha Vilas

Genre: Mythology, Literature, Spiritual

Pages: 208

Publisher: Jaico Publishing House (2019)

Radiate Confidence is the 5th instalment of Ramayana: Game of Life series. Every book is of the same framework, where he diligently describes how to learn from the Ramayana and inculcate habits and thinking accordingly. The author has beautifully interwoven the story of Ramayana with powerful life lessons which are presented in the form of practical examples with anecdotes.

I love the footnotes in each page explaining the citations in the text. It is especially useful to someone like me, who isn’t well versed with Indian mythological stories. There are notes, after each chapter, describing what one can learn from the happenings in the story and how to apply those in real life. I have highlighted quite a few!

The story continues from where the previous book ended. I am leaving the links to the reviews of the previous books of the series below:

Book 1

Book 2

Book 3

Book 4

There is a charm in Shubha Vilas's writing. I felt purified and soothed by this book. I couldn't keep it down. It was so absorbing. Every line holds an urge to go on reading till you exhaust yourself but still crave to know what would happen next. A great book for both adults and children, and a perfect to introduce your children to such great epics!

Radiate Confidence is a book about being patient and finding success. This book is a modern retelling of the Sundara Kanda of Valmiki’s epic, it reminds us through the story of Hanuman, how courage and devotion can make one confident and help him achieve his goal. It gives various timely messages in the book. These are simple messages but they are needed to be told today when one can’t perceive the simplest of things since the minds are so clouded by complications. The author’s writing is simple yet rich.

VERDICT: This book is for everyone who wants to seek success, understand Hanuman and find its relevance in our lives. This is a self help book disguised in a juicy format with one of the most read texts of Hinduism. In a time of turmoil, this book provides not an escape but involvement which is non religious and universal. Happy Reading! Pick this up while in Quarantine!

Ratings: 4.5/5

P.S: I was sent the review copy very graciously by the author, who is also a spiritual and motivational speaker, and I am truly grateful.

Book Review #124 : The Mistake - A True Love Story

Hi everyone!

When I started this book, I wasn’t sure what to expect as this was my first book from the author. But, I had a wonderful experience by reading this book and it rarely happens that I read the book completely within 2 days. This book is a lovely story with fun from college days. 

For all those who have loved someone and lost them due to some reasons or circumstances, this book comes across as a hope. It's an optimistic read.

I learned. Life depends on our actions and decisions. The book is indeed beautifully written and it reached out into the depths of my soul. Such a tiny book can stir great emotions in the reader too.

Written in simple, easy to understand language, it makes you realise how often we take things for granted. It is an interesting story with the essence of love and romance, full of unexpected turns.

Thank you to the author for writing such a wonderful story. It is realistic. The novel makes you think about your decisions. We feel the emotions of the characters first hand. I really loved how the story narration captures the intricacies of relationships, the longing, drama and choices.

Reading this novel in this weather with some hot chocolate is what I totally recommend.

Rating – 4.5/5

P.S: This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

I Love You — Now Change Yourself For Me

What happens when you try and change the person you love? They love you back a little less? No, well that doesn’t happen directly. Essentially, the person you claim to love, starts loving himself/herself lesser. And I strongly believe, you cannot serve from an empty vessel. If they don’t love themselves enough, they cannot love you enough, as well.

When you change the way they look or dress, or for that matter take away who they are- by not being accepting of their passion, they no longer remain the person you fell in the first place for. Some people change others for the need of everything being a “certain way” they want things to be.

You shouldn’t feel pressured to drop all of your interests. That is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you have a strong sense of how you like to look, then by all means, don’t change. If you're happy with how you dress, and it feels like an honest reflection of your personality and your wardrobe makes you feel in Beast Mode every day, then definitely don't let them tell you to change your appearance to suit their preferences. But if you end up changing how you dress, in a way that feels negative, you will hate yourself for it, if not immediately, but surely later.

This is a conscious rethink we need to develop our minds into, that changing someone unless it is a really bad habit - that affects their health, is not cool. This too should not be a command/demand, but a healthy request.

Real love is not asking someone to change himself/herself for you. I believe people change, and sometimes, people change for people, sadly. Which sucks. We humans, have this amazingly illusional habit of “fixing” others. The thinking here is if he/she loved you enough, they would perhaps change. It is intoxicating. Trying to change your partner interferes with your ability to practice forgiveness. When you try to change them, you are always looking for flaws.

You’ll be inclined to bend on many things that are a part of your personality, if you really, really love the person — but , but, it’s a bad idea to do so, all the time.

Don’t resort to fixing or changing someone. That will only create resistance in relationships. Let love change you for better, not your loved one. And even when required, compromises and adjustments shouldn’t just be one ended. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing you are doing wrong. You are worthy of feeling peace and being accepted just the way you are. You are enough exactly as you are.

Nothing you say, nothing you do and nothing you wish for is going to motivate another person to make long-term change if they do not internalize the need for it. You should change, not because you’re being asked or because someone else thinks it’s good for the relationship, but because you, inside yourself, wish to be different.

Love someone where they are, not where you want them to be. It is very basic to show respect for the other person’s autonomy. Relationships are based on compromise because, despite rom-com fantasies, there is no such thing as a “perfect fit” between people. There are some “almost-there” fits and “pretty close” fits, but you’re never going to find someone who just so happens to conform exactly to the life you’ve established as a single person.

You should never let yourself believe things like, “If only I were different, this person would love me more.” That line of thinking is destructive; your partner should love you for your core self , your soul and your essence.

Love is not a power play, not roles and dynamics and shoes you must fill. You don’t need to become something better just to have someone’s affection, even if the other person’s intentions are pure. If the changes are insignificant or reasonable, it is acceptable. But you can’t make someone change for your reasons, or even the right reasons—an individual changes because he or she wants to. For themselves. Not for you.

All in all, it’s a wonderful thing to learn from a lover. If they can introduce you to new ideas, concepts, and experiences, your relationship will be all the richer. But don’t let it take over and influence what you have been, before they even entered your life. Don’t betray who you are. You need to be open to small changes for one another, but you cannot have a personality transplant, all of a sudden.

Imperfect, raw, and real. Proud being that way.

Book Review #114 : the sun and her flowers

The Sun and Her Flowers, by Rupi Kaur, is perfect for anyone who has recently broken up with someone who did not nurture your soul sufficiently to sprout. For all shattered spirits in search of a safe haven, this poetic collection is nectar to busy little injured bees. In a garden where precious buds are in dire need of water, The Sun and Her Flowers reflects souls who rise above the barriers that hinder their growth. It is a passage between decay, awakening, and healing. Rupi Kaur’s most recent anthology is “the recipe of life.”

Rupi Kaur vividly plays with paradoxical symbols. The book cover contained sunflowers, typically resembling joy and vitality, and its content depicts themes of woe and melancholy. It symbolises the process of regaining light after prolonged, somber nights of despair. Even vibrant and cheerful beings, like sunflowers, can wilt and suffer with scarce nurturing.

The Sun and Her Flowers encompasses an enticing table of contents, akin to a flower cycle: wilting, falling, rooting, rising, and blooming. Each category portrays poems with illustrations done by Kaur herself, relevant to their respective themes.

One of the many reasons to love this book  is its capacity to truly mend and heal broken hearts stuck in despair and darkness. This anthology provides light at the end of the readers’ tunnels, and give hope to souls who consider themselves unfortunate.

If you read her first book (Milk and Honey), it's still in Rupi's signature style, but she manages to cover similar topics from a different standpoint. It kind of feels as though her books are maturing with her, as this one handles the issues from Milk and Honey in a more mature, learned tone.

Even if some of the poems in the sun and her flowers seem like recycled oldies-but-goodies, there's no denying that Kaur is brilliant. She's not afraid to speak her mind and talk about taboo subjects, such as female infanticide, immigration, rape, abuse, mental illness and sexual empowerment. Her poems contain difficult subject matter and can be hard to read, but they all hold a unique power that can and will speak to many people around the world. This leaves readers feeling as though Kaur has gone deep into the depths of their personal lives and put all the heart-wrenching feelings they once felt down on paper.

Reading The Sun and Her Flowers will honestly change your life and your relationships with yourself and others. I am truly looking forward to reading her future publications. Definitely recommend that ALL young women read this, if for no other reason than to see that we are all sharing very similar struggles in love and life in general.

Ratings : 5/5 

Top 15, 2018 Life Lessons

Top 15, 2018 Life Lessons: 

Since 2018 is coming to a close, I thought I would reflect on some of the lessons I learned this year. What a year! Today, I’d like to recap and share my biggest life lessons of 2018. It’s been the best year so far but that doesn’t mean everything was going my way. Read to know more... :)

1. Fall madly in love with yourself. "I am enough". 

2. Have unwavering faith; things will fall into place.

3. Never take life for granted.

4. Be more observing.

5. It’s okay to dream big.

6. Only when you move away from your comfort zone and cocooned life, you discover other facets to yourself.

7. Listen to the little encouraging inner voice more than the self doubt demon who plagues you. 

8. Don’t be scared if you fall off the wagon.

9. Dignity lies in getting a sense of the ending and letting go what’s not meant for you, gracefully.

10. Not everything you see on social media is real or goals.

11. Worry about your craft. Not the algorithm.

12. Genuine love is a privilege. Do whatever it takes to nourish it, so it lasts forever. 

13. Enjoy and be in love with the “process” of something not just the end result. Be in love with the fight too, not just the victory. Be obsessed with improvement.

14. Our proudest achievements come in the face of the greatest adversity.

15. Thoughts become things.

Book Review #108 : Heart Quake

Author: Ishita Deshmukh

Publisher: Lifi Publications

Ishita penned this novel in her school days when she was asked to write with ‘love’ and ‘calamity’ as themes. With just a few months past the Bhuj earthquake, she chose her work to revolve around it. 

Heart Quake revolves around the emotional crisis undergone by two lovers at the time of the Bhuj earthquake that shook Gujarat in 2001, which is a theme that is rarely taken up. 

The book is an emotional journey for readers and the strong characters pull through the emotional ebb and flow perfectly. The female protagonist, Sonal, is a strong modern day woman. Tejas, a fatalist who is languid by nature, falls for his former lover, Sonal. The story traces their quest to find true love amidst crisis. They are the victims of the Bhuj earthquake and their defenselessness leads them to find a companion for life. 

The story traces their love story, which had begun earlier. Plus, there is also Dilip’s factor, who is Sonal’s to-be fiancé. Dilip who was her friend for all these years, when Tejas was not to be seen, was looking forward to being Sonal’s husband. And there are other bad causes at work, henchmen in terrible times too. The wrong agents at work are trying to make money from the entire situation. 

The best part of this book are the characters. I would definitely say that it is a character-driven plot because they have been portrayed with such finesse and the author has managed to put all the nitty-gritty details. The book is definitely emotional. The supporting characters have also been portrayed well. Each character plays a vital role in shaping the story. Removal of one, will make the story look incomplete. The best people of this lot include Sonal’s mother, Chitra who calmly guides her daughter, into the next phase of her life. As does Dilip, who stays in love with Sonal through the whole story. 

In the city of Bhuj, after the entire shock, amidst all the chaos and dread, there was also an overflow of emotions in the book - love, friendship, and a whole bunch of confusion, hope in the time of disaster, which is a ray of sunshine. 

This is one of the books which leaves an impact on you with simple yet elegant way of explaining emotions that aren't easily understood by many. I would recommend this book to those who would like to read realistic life stories filled with highs and lows. 

Disclaimer: I received a copy of book from the author in return for my honest review. 

Rating: 4/5

WHY ADULTING SUCKS!!

As a young adult, you wonder why anyone would want to go back to being a kid. You can make your own choices, have independence, etc. But then there are plenty of occasions, as you proceed through this adulthood, when all you wish is to go back to a time with zero responsibilities. Adulting has its benefits and pains. Recently, I have been experiencing the frustrating reality checks that life is so good at giving us. I thought, why not write about it? Let me know below in the comments below, if anyone of you is experiencing the same!

Few of my reasons, why I feel “Adulting” is OVERRATED!

• Having to take responsibility for everything you do – good or horrible. At home, at work, in life. It was so easy when you could just blame your mistakes on being a kid. Now, there is just a lot expected of you.
• Everyone kind of expects you to be in a relationship but my love life is non-existent and it get’s harder and harder to find a proper guy. Disney completely lied about love. I swear. My Facebook timeline is full of people getting engaged, married, having children. Meanwhile, I’m living back home, and just really love to dwell in self-pity, on certain days.
• Paying random, multiplying bills and really having to take care of your money. Or when you realize how much you're actually making after those taxes are slashed off your salary.
• When you go to a networking event because every real adult in your life is like “YOU MUST NETWORK and meet NEW people!!”
• When you try to convince potential employers that you're qualified for a job, even though you’re enough talented.
• When you have to figure out how to make friends in the "real world". Because everyone wants to connect to you to get something out from you. Zaalim duniya!
• When your life achievements aren't exactly how you pictured them back in school. I remember, being a topper throughout in school and college, I had almost believed that these marks are going to guarantee me an amazing life ahead. I was so wrong.
• You constantly have to figure out your life and where to go next. Most of the time, it feels impossible.
• Your’re expected to act your age which is pretty much the most boring thing ever. Because I am childish. Quite.
• Making doctor’s appointments and taking care of your health, getting mental “Exercise” reminders.
• Getting your own place is so expensive.
• Having to listen to things like “your clock is ticking.” Seriously, mind your own damn business, aunty.
• That feeling of panic you get, when you see all the great things other people your age have achieved, and you start questioning all your life decisions.
• You realize that school didn’t really prepare you for anything real.
• You get judged for everything you do.
• That “damnit, my parents were right, after all” kind of feeling.
• You get a lot more noise sensitive. And, earphones come to your rescue!

Power Of Thoughts - 5 Ways To A Good Day!

We go to sleep each night and wake up in the morning to a new day with new opportunities - a day filled with the power and freedom to choose. The minute we wake up, we can choose to get out of bed and make the most of our day or press the snooze button, roll over, pull the blankets over our head, and feel dread about the day ahead. This is nobody's choice but ours. Generally, the way we start our day influences how we feel for the rest of the day.

5 ways in which I start my day off on a positive note:

1. When you wake up in the morning, take a few minutes to check-in (go within). Take a few deep breathes and find something that you're grateful for (your children, partner, your health, the warm bed you are in, nature outside your window). Take this time to be thankful for all that you have in your life instead of wasting your energy on thinking about what you don't have.

2. Instead of pouncing straight out of bed, spend 5 to 10 minutes (or however long it takes) meditating. Simply observe your breath. Breathe in for a count of 4 to 5, allowing your belly and chest to expand, and breathe out also for a count of 4 to 5 allowing everything to drop away. Notice how your breath enters your body, notice how your breath leaves your body, and notice the little pause between each breath. This will allow you to create a sense of peace within and it will also help get you into a good head space before your feet touch the ground.

3. Take a few moments while in the shower and/or while eating breakfast just to be present. Feel the water on your skin, taste the different flavours in your food. It feels good and it's an amazing way to consciously set your energy and intention towards your day.

4. Before breakfast have large glass of water with half a lemon squeezed into it and you may even like to add some ginger. This will assist with digestion and is effective in body cleansing and detoxification - it will help get things moving. Follow this with a nutritious breakfast to kick-start your metabolism and fuel your body to face the day ahead. You have just had maybe ten to twelve hours of fasting - your body needs sustenance and is ready to be refuelled, so skipping breakfast is a big no, no!

5. Get clear about your intentions for the day. For example you can intend to have a productive day. You can intend to have quality time with your family and friends with no distractions. You can intend to have a fun and brilliant day. You can intend to have a calm and peaceful day. You can intend to learn something new or be helpful to someone. Whatever it is just be clear about what it is you want your day to be. In order to create, manifest, and attract it, you must first align your heart, mind, and spirit with your intention. In other words, you truly need to feel it!

Many people don't understand the power of thoughts, because they live every day on autopilot, doing most things out of habit, and therefore they create their reality unconsciously, as if they’re wearing a blindfold. But whether we’re aware of it or not, we create our reality with our thoughts and behaviour - and this means we have the power to choose to be a conscious, mindful creator and change our reality to what we really want it to be. Remember, you choose your thoughts, you choose your behavior, you choose the outcome. And every choice you make determines how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Now, let me ask you this: How do you start your day? Is it with gratification and happiness—or doom and gloom? A day is easily ruined if started by holding onto negativity and resentment. So when you wake tomorrow, ask yourself, do I want to think and act like I did yesterday, or do I choose to be a new me today?

Never Beg, Plead or Cling...

Never beg, plead or cling for the people to stay with you especially in relationships, the door is open, if it is meant to happen it will happen, if not the door is open they can leave, the right people in the right moment will enter your life and never leave, while the wrong people will leave.

Life will force you to walk away from the people that you thought were the right people for you, it will take you serious guts to walk away, it’s easier to stay then to walk especially from those types of individuals that you really love and care or you thought they were different while they were not; know the fact that you can’t really go against your destiny neither change it, so eventually you will have to learn the hard truth of walking away sometimes which will be the hardest thing for you.

Know one thing in life ~ ’’God will give you the people that you need and deserve, not the ones that you want’’. Always forgive the people that have hurt you however never forget what they did to you. Why do you need to forgive them? So you can simply shift your valued time and energy from those people to someone new who deserves it so you won’t have anything to do with them anymore. Forgiving shows maturity and growth; however you are going to never forget, because you should cherish and learn from the mistakes, so that you never repeat them.

Book Review #95 : Then The Door Bell Rang

Book Title: Then The Door Bell Rang 

Author: Capri Jalota 

Number of pages : 395 

Publisher: Leadstart Publishing Private Limited 

ISBN-10: 9352019504 

ISBN-13: 978-9352019502 

The book consists of 395 pages which is quite a good number to intimidate someone. But the start had the magic, the author Capri Jalota has made sure the first 100 pages to be so captivating that the reader is anxious to read the rest.

A book, simply based on one’s life itself is something that the reader can treat themselves with as a break from thrillers, romance and everything else.

The intriguing plot with twists and turns at unexpected time helps the readers to hook up with the book till the end. The first person narration helps us to go with the flow of the book. The characters are sketched well. The usage of simple words and lucid language helps to maintain coherence throughout the book.

The title of the book 'Then the door bell rang' is a little long, but indicates the reader that the story could be a mystery. The book cover could have been better and relatable to the plot.

The book revolves around the story of the protagonist Jane who was deprived of love and care from her early days. Though her parents cared for her, they failed to show it to their daughter which brought out serious depression in the lil girl. And later when destiny separates her from her loved one, she was left with no hope to live.

What works for TTDBR is the way the author brings in new characters, keeping the flow of the book alive. From the deceased Uday, Jane’s husband, whose personal diary brings with it, a fair share of worms and heart aches, to his doting parents and her relationship with them which only grows after Uday’s death, to the surprising paramour Rahul, who is but a fleeting presence, a phantom whom Jane chases for the first half of the week to other characters, nurses, best friends, a supportive boss, strangers who become more than family and so on.

And yet what prevails is a sense of death throughout. It almost seems that death itself is the protagonist who is taking the plot forward. Mortality pervades through the novel, as each death takes the protagonist further in her search (for answers, truth, life?) across borders.

Time travel with the protagonist from the beginning till the end is a mixture of emotions, relationships and feelings. Though the content mostly deals with human emotions, the presentation was good with suspense as a main ingredient.

This book is a very good example of fiction where the author has weaved the story of a lady and different phases of her life which she has gone through. Story line is full of ups and down which keeps you excited and concerned till the end. Few scenes are created very dramatic. You flow with the book and started sharing joy and sorrow with the characters, which is the actual beauty of the book.

What I liked in the book:
1. The writing style is very lucid and uncomplicated.
2. Loved the way Uday proposes to Jane, the poetry was very good,
3. There were many beautiful lines and quotes in the narrative. There were some really good quotes that I would keep re reading.

What I didn’t like:
I feel that the story could have been tighter and crisp, needs to be more stringent editing. Too much description and many events that did not help in the progress of the story very much. I couldn’t understand why one chapter was Jane’s diary entry when the whole story was told in Jane’s POV in first person.

Overall Verdict - This book is about love, loss, pain, fears, remorse, and friendship. The book begins with Jane standing in her balcony, contemplating her life. I loved reading Jane’s journey full of more downs than ups. It is filled with so many unfortunate incidents that is too much to bear for any individual. My heart went out for her each time. I would recommend this book to those who would like to read realistic life stories filled with highs and lows.

Rating : 4/5