Haiku #26 ~ Book Pages

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Tent of flipping book pages,

Port both my tiny and vast self -

To a new world altogether!

Haiku #25 ~ Life

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Long life or short life,

Each one of us is dying eventually,

So don't waste your time!

Haiku #24 ~ Ph.D

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

The first months are hard,

As time passes, the growth becomes visible,

Then the results shine out. 

Haiku #23 ~ Spring

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Sun warming the brown soil,

Branches, buds and leaves tinged with green,

A promise that spring brings!

Haiku #22 ~ The Bare Tree

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

                                        Leaves with specs of gold,

Gently fall and dance above the earth,

The tree is bare now. 

Haiku #21 ~ Autumn Leaves

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

"Bursting in bright yellow hues,

Splashing colors all around the park benches,

The autumn leaves must fall."

Haiku #20 ~ Proof

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Footprints of logic I see,

Showing how and where one truth leads,

Another one follows in league. 

14th June 2020 was the day when many of us were shocked with the news of ‘suicide’ of Bollywood Actor “Sushant Singh Rajput”. The news came as a form of suicide however the way authorities including media started giving the information gave a way to think most of us that if it was a ‘Real suicide’ or just a high profile ‘Planned murder’. His death is found to be suspicious for several reasons. 

This post is for #JusticeForSSR #CBIProbe

Haiku #19 ~ Winter Sunset

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Late winter sunset it is,

River - frozen, still, a ribbon of ice,

Sun paints a purple path. 

Haiku #18 ~ Self Love

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

To give love can cause -

pain - if there is no self love.

First, you must love you!

Haiku #17 ~ Surface

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

Beauty thorn of a rose,

surface deep to cause you sharp pain,

beauty blinds the eyes, mostly.

Caffeinated Musings!

This post is my passion for coffee, in singing poetic praises for it. Napoleon called it “the intellectual drink” and La Roque “the King of Perfumes.”

I wake up some mornings and sit and have my coffee and look out from my window at the beautiful garden below, and I go, 'Remember how good this is. Because you can lose it.' Coffee makes me pause, sit & reflect on things around. The smell of fresh-made coffee or coffee brewing is one of the world's greatest inventions!

I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of a cup of frothy coffee. I’d wear coffee as a perfume, if it was possible. Caffeine is like the other Vitamin C, for me. I love waking up early simply because it is a way of stealing time which should by rights belong to your own self. It is a lovely excuse I have to consume this hot, steamy, delicious, comforting beverage! Coffee solves all these problems in one delightful little cup or at least gives me the strength to do so. 

That obnoxious first sip is the sip I can't wait for. That first sip is what perks up my eyes and makes me realize that maybe the world doesn't suck as much as I think it does. Coffee is love. Coffee is life. 

Book Review #136: The Second Life : An Anthology of 25 Life Changing Stories

Paperback: 224 pages

Publisher: Write India Publishers; first edition (10 October 2014)

Language: English

An awesome compilation of unique stories and they titled it so apt as 'The Second Life'. Take my words some characters of the stories will not leave you forever. All the writers have given their best work here, you will echo my views when you read the stories. I have a story named 'In The Classroom of Life' too. Here is the list of story names and their authors. 

Each story has its own flavour. While some are as sweet as a cold breeze, a few are upbeat and thought provoking. It is a highly recommended book with the right ingredients for everyone.

It's a collection of beautiful heart touching stories that can change even the reader's perspective about life. Only few books have this power, and this is one of them.

A particular story that stood out to me and stirred my soul was 'The Hug of Allah and Ishwar'. It left me wondering about the hypocrisy we live in. The religion that teaches us the way to ultimate peace, we use the same religion as a reason to kill. Shameful.

An inspiring book you must get. A worthy gift you can give to anyone. 

Ratings: 5/5

Ph.D : An Academic Adventure Of A Lifetime!

The PhD-as-journey becomes a way of telling self and others the story of the PhD process and the various experiences, emotions, and challenges that come along the way. The notion of the journey sums up the sense of movement, personal growth and change! Here are my learnings/observations and narrations of the ups and downs of my journey until now:

1. Patience & ability to deal with pressure

PhD can be really frustrating and there may be times you would feel like just giving up. Even though you may have completed the work from your end there are so many other factors that influence your progress. That is why you need patience and lots of it-

• The supervisor might not be available, dates for presentations, meetings might be difficult to secure. Comments from advisors could take too long or they could join some other institute mid-way.
• If you are getting the results and publications in time (what you and your supervisor have planned), then you are in a good phase of the Ph.D. And, here is your chance to make best out of it. However, for some reasons, if you are lagging then again pressure builds.
• Papers you send for publications could sometimes take months. It could be an endless process of rejections, reviews and revisions before you can finally get published.
• Getting married while doing PhD is not easy with the lack of time and less money from stipend. All this while your friends who could be graduates have good jobs and have been promoted and even have kids.
• Dealing with the pressure that comes with family and relatives constantly asking you about when are you completing your PhD.
• Holidays are rare and even then you might have to work. The only time you really get to travel is during conferences. Even that is impossible now due to Covid-19 situation.
• You might be a teaching assistant or taking classes or organizing conferences or doing some other work which will take up more of your time.

Basically, doing Ph.D. is an art of handling the pressure, and if you are good in that, then you will find less frustration. However, if you're unable to handle the load, then you will learn it during the Ph.D. And, undoubtedly, you will master the things (like pressure handling to minimize the frustration level) that can help you to grow your career. There is plenty of time to learn, improve and emerge. 

2. Drive + Humility + Hard work

It could take you anywhere between 3 to 6 years to complete your PhD. If you are not driven, it could be easy to slip into lethargy and depression as you counter setbacks on the way. You might waste valuable energy and lose focus. Treat every setback as a bump in the road.

The transition from student to scholar is the primary task of a doctoral journey. It involves learning how to (a) read and critically interpret the original works of important theorists and researchers contained in the literature of your field, (b) design and conduct research projects of your own (such as the dissertation), and (c) write in a style and voice acceptable to other scholars. 

So while you need to be driven to progress forward, you also need to be patient knowing it would still take time. This combination of drive-patience quality is tough but so important to achieve.

3. People skills

Although a lot of your PhD work involves you working alone in your lab or cubicle or home, it also involves interaction and working with others.

The most important is your relation with your supervisor. A supervisor might be kind and helpful but might not have enough knowledge in your area to help you a lot. Or your supervisor might be a genius and very knowledgeable but might have a nature that makes it difficult to work with them. It is up to you to figure out the best way to work with them as everyone has a different kind of personality and this relationship lasts for years and involves constantly working with them.

Besides your supervisor, there are also committee members with whom you may need to interact at times. Networking is important as you might need to take help from other colleagues, juniors or seniors for your PhD work or for collaborating to publish a paper together.

So although it is your PhD - that of an individual, it is never achieved without the involvement of a lot of different people and that is why people skills are necessary- knowing how to work and what works best with them.

4. (Mis)Using the freedom

The nicest part of a PhD is the freedom. The worst part is the freedom. Understand this! You have to be wise with how you use your time and make the most of the opportunity to study and research something you’re passionate about. A PhD student who understands this difference separates himself/herself from the rest automatically!

P.S: 

1. There are days when you don't understand something or you don't get desired results in this journey. Similarly, there are days when you might get scolded for no fault of yours. All these things are frustrating but if you were to look at it, these things happen in almost any career. 

2. Ph.D is an endurance test. So, even with all these aspects, enjoying the doctorate journey is what matters the most. It will have its share of ups and downs. How you handle them will determine whether you succeed or fail in your quest.

What Makes A Relationship Last Long?

1. The ability to compromise is important for success in many aspects of life; your romantic relationship will also thrive when you've both have honed your ability to give and take. A long lasting relationship requires flexible individuals who are willing to give a little (and sometimes a lot) to ensure mutual happiness. If you and your partner are good at finding solutions that make you both happy, it's a good indicator that you'll be successful in the future.
2. Couples that have similar values & share a common sense of curiosity are a lot more likely to make it long-term just as are couples that share similar goals!
3. Your arguments should actually bring you closer. You HAVE TO communicate to each other with kind words. Never don't hold grudges once you're done fighting.
4. When you’re not insecure about each other’s successes & support each other's goals.
5. When you forgive each others’ bad days. Have a short memory and a lot of forgiveness. Prioritize your partner over anything else.
6. When you have bad news, your spouse is the first person you want to tell -- not the person you most dread telling. Daily connection time is a MUST have!
7. To keep your relationship brimming, with love, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. You still like them when you're angry.
8. Take that EXTRA effort equally.
9. When you challenge your old taught habits which might be snobbish like fighting over unmade bed, wet towels thrown carelessly on bed, etc. It’s not about being a neat freak, but c’mon, some things can be learnt & changed!
10. When you trust each other at all cost.

9 Things Every Girl Should Know Early On In Life!

1. About taxes, savings, and being independent
2. Basic cooking
3. How to take one’s mental health seriously
4. Spare some ME time!
5. Never change for someone until you no longer recognize yourself
6. Take care of your skin since a young age, your skin will thank you later!
7. Never settle just because you are a certain age..
8. Know the difference between a man who flatters you, compliments you and the man who spends money on you, who invests in you. Know the difference between a man who views you as a property and a man who views you properly, a man who lusts after you and a man who loves you, be with a man who believes you are a gift to him!
9. Accept yourself, the way you are. Love yourself, unapologetically!

Lesser Known Facts About The Author Of This Blog!

1. I hate the sight of crumpled bed sheet. I kind of have an OCD of always having things in place. I HAVE to make my bed right after I wake up. Plus point? You will always find things around me in place, all neat!
2. I can put my heart and soul if I want to learn anything.
3. I give 100% in maintaining my relationships. If something doesn't go well I tell myself that I shouldn't blame the other person but instead try to put on more effort.
4. I still have hand written notes from Engineering days (which was like 10 years ago!)
5. I love collecting books (I receive so many from authors for review purpose!). I am very selfish when it comes to lending my books to anyone as I don’t trust anyone taking care of them like I do. They are a part of my emotions.
6. I was always very good in academics.
7. I don't watch television and no saas bahu kinda serials for me.
8. I am a BIGGGG coffee lover (frothy one) & I hate mutton.
9. I can get a thread in needle within seconds.
10. I love giving surprises to people I love.
11. I enjoy being alone, I love my ‘me’ time, I never feel lonely.
12. I love chandeliers.
13. In the world of messages and e-mails, I love to write cards, love notes and letters. I’m very old school.
14. I am very good with money management, you’ll never find me wasting my money on useless things.
15. I am a hopeless romantic.
16. I love to dress up.
17. I love eating milk powders, all of those baby food (cerelac) and chocolate health drink powders. I put a spoonful of it in my mouth and devour it with great delight.
18. I don't like having pets.
19. I like writing.
20. I don't like to waste food.
21. I don't like mehman nawazi, I need things simple and normal. If you host me, best thing you can do is keep things simple, simple food and no extraaa hospitality.
22. I don't like people who show off / put others down.
23. I like the smell of old books & coffee brewing.
24. I am witty.
25. My favorite dessert is Choco Lava cake from Dominos.

Gold Diggers

Well, gold diggers seem to be everywhere at the moment, in large numbers in men and women both. People want to be financially stable and to be able to afford the nice things in life. Frankly, some people (can be men & women both) are unlikely to achieve that through their own work/potential. Such men marry women for dowry and other such demands/luxuries, and such women be gold diggers and marry only for money.

And it was in the past that it was accepted as a woman's duty to make a good marriage, cook etc. Now it’s time for equal roles. I find myself wondering often, what is the difference between being a Cinderella and gold digging? Where do you draw the line?

The simple answer, of course is that, in these days of equality, women no longer need to marry into money - most of us can make our own. Women are ambitious nowadays. As a matter of fact, millennial men are gold diggers. Society is less likely to scrutinize males who partake in this trend when compared to women.

And often, I see the woman who leaves her job to make a family, while the man goes out to work and achieve his career goals.

I agree there are “irresponsible” women who are married off to rich guys in trade of their good looks/white skin/bad marks. But here- there are men too who accept gori chamdi as a beautiful (read: trophy wife) wife!

I feel we all need to answer this to ourselves: If your spouse was to go broke today, would you stay with him/her?

Of course, no one wants to be in this predicament but sometimes shit just happens. Are you the wife/husband that will hold things down till he/she picks things back? If you answered, “yes,” then you are more of a financial planner and less of a goal digger!

A gold digger looks at her man/ women as an endorsement deal. As long as he/she keeps her/him in the finest things and keeps the money flowing, she/he will stick around. But when that money is gone, so is your trophy wife/rich husband.

Bollywood Song That Talks Of Self-Respect & Self-Love To Me!

“Kinaare” from QUEEN movie.

This song embodies the theme of the movie, independence and self identity; It compares its quest to the search of shores for someone who is drowning mid sea. It crescendos perfectly in the 5th para with the realization that —

“Khud hi To hain hum… Kinaare (We ourselves are our, Shores)”.

Even if all the boatmen leave us,

Then, we will become oars ourselves,

and cross (the ocean) on our own..

Why others, we’ll ask ourselves,

The paths to follow,

Somewhere here in the waves,

We will find… (Shores)

Self-sufficiency gives one the freedom to discover one's true self and attain true independence. To be happy in one’s own company is the greatest nirvana attained!

By beginning to create boundaries for yourself - it that show others that you have self-respect. Release people from your life who don't honor your boundaries. Have confidence in yourself and live with grace, honor, and dignity!

Two Best Reasons To Wake Up Early!

1. Better concentration & enhanced productivity: Brains tend to be most alert in the morning. Starting your day early improves your concentration. In addition to being able to focus on goals and task lists without being interrupted by family members or coworkers, getting up early means that by the time you get to work or school, you’ve had (EXTRA) hours to properly acclimate yourself to the day.

2. You have more time on your hands! So, the way we rush for everything is insane! We rush to jump buses, trains, rush to work, rush breakfast. It is always a rat race. Waking up early makes it very easy to plan your life. I mean, while the world is rushing to make breakfast, you are already done with that and at a much more relaxed pace too. You’ll be more alert during peak hours, as a result, you’ll get more done!

A Cappuccino & Books Kinda Mood!

A book and a cup of coffee: two of the most comforting things in our modern lives. As the poet R.M. Engelhardt once wrote, “A smoke, a book, a cup of coffee. These are the little things that get us through this sometimes weary world and all the rainy days.”

I have a special love of books and coffee, the two pairing perfectly together. Coffee can be a pick-me-up to a dreary day; so can a book. Coffee can be the jolt you need to start on a new project; so can a book. The memory of a good cup of coffee will stay with you long after you’ve consumed it, and the same goes for a good book. I think the special connection between books and coffee is simple: ideas!!!

There is a connection between coffee and books that goes beyond the feeling of coziness induced when we wrap one hand around a warm mug and use the other hand to turn the pages of whatever we are reading. Books often serve a similar purpose, allowing us to detach from the world around us and dive into a new one. In that way, books can be our solace, and they require our undivided attention.

Reading “is a soothing experience.” Books require our focus, and coffee aids in that process; together, the two force us to slow down. And THAT is exactly my mood today- dive into a book, SLOW DOWN a bit & spend carefree hours reading with a cup of warm frothy coffee. :)

Book Review #135: The Naughty Proposal

Title: The Naughty Proposal
Author: Shanaya Taneja
Publisher: Shristi
Genre: Fiction
Total pages: 90

The book is an erotica. It revolves around four people Tara, Sneha, Dheeraj, Abhimanyu looking for some excitement in life without falling in trap of unnecessary love affairs. It is a small story which ends with a tricky suspense.

Some part that I didn't like was that story was incomplete, did not address one or two of the character well. Did not tell about how Tara and Abhimanyu knew each other, since how long were they in a relationship. The suspense was not disclosed well, only a few hints were dropped along the story.

While the storyline has elaborated and detailed erotica passages, the story is dull. Characters are built by specifying their personalities multiple times, instead of giving some background. No background, just forced character building.

The unexpected part was the twist at the end. Sometimes, being cautious and understanding the complete picture is better than giving in to the lure of mystery and novel temptation is the moral of the story. It is a definitely an adultery novel with a lot of detailed sex descriptions.

Coming on to the storyline. Except the climax parts, nothing was there that could hook you till the very end. There were some really good erotic scenes between Tara and Dheeraj, but when we talk about characterization, author totally forgot to work on it. It’s a pretty short book, but fast paced and you can enjoy it on a short journey or on lazy weekends, don’t expect anything exceptional, just wait till the climax. Language is very simple and you can easily connect with the characters. You get the feeling of watching a Bollywood movie.

The primary focus of story is on need(s); need for love and need for money. Weirdly this tries to portray all rich people as nice and craving for love; and all middle-class people using rich people for money.

Verdict: Ending could have been more descriptive. For me – I ended up feeling incomplete and ditched just like some of the characters in the book.

Ratings: 3/5

Why I Don't Wear Makeup Anymore!

Well, up until 2018, I used to love wearing makeup. But, that was a way of concealing my acne marks & a curiosity to try new makeup that my favorite influencer then promoted! Lol.

Mid 2018, I started taking care of my skin! Skin is your body's largest organ. It serves as a protective barrier between your insides and the rest of the world. I learnt, proper skin care is vital. It's about staying healthy. Taking care of your skin is not something you do ‘now and then’, but on a daily basis! How your skin will look in ten or twenty years, depends on the way you care for it now.

Skin is constantly growing and changing, so you have to remain vigilant in caring for it. Keep your skin hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day and try maintaining a balanced diet. Always make sure to use sunblock if you're going to spend time outside. Once your skin is crystal clear, you’ll realize you no longer need more than maybe - a mascara and a lipstick. That’s all I use NOW. 

Makeup can only enhance your appearance. But good skin care can make you feel good even from within. Plus, when I don’t have a zillion step makeup routine, it takes me less time to get ready for work in the mornings. Also, you can’t rinse your face so often – in summer, in the sun, because of the heat the skin needs to breathe more and with makeup it can’t. You can’t rub your eyes- or else you know - Panda eyes!

Even for my wedding, I was adamant that I wanted to look like me — not some idealized version of myself that I’d be unable to maintain indefinitely. My partner was not marrying some “new and improved,” dyed, painted, or slimmer version of me, after all. I did wear makeup, but just as much as I would still look & feel like myself. 

While I do feel more polished wearing some cosmetic covering, I also see the potential within myself of not being able to face the world with my bare face. I remember days when I worked back then - I would follow each step from primer to lipstick & then makeup fixer, just to hide my acne scars. I didn’t want to become dependent on makeup. I don’t ever want to feel naked or unattractive without it.

I think that makeup can be a tool of misogyny. When it is not used from a perspective of self-love, makeup can breed bouts of self-hatred in women — or at least dissatisfaction. Makeup made me look for my face’s flaws rather than accepting my face as it is. I started to wonder what else / which products I need to improve or cover up with this or that color. Are my lips well enough defined? Do my cheeks have the right hue? Is my complexion all right?

We tell women that they’re beautiful and that they should love themselves. We tell little girls to have self-confidence and that they can be anything they want to be. But then, and often with the same breath, we suggest they can be beautiful (or confident) only when they are not quite themselves. We sell women (both young and old) products to “fix” or “improve” their appearance — wrinkle removers, concealers, eyelash enhancers, and other colorful cover-ups. We do. 

My final wish is - our society views makeup as an optional accessory as opposed to the required response to any perceived deficiency. I am a woman capable of self-confidence and self-love, and I no longer allow my face to feel like a façade.

“GROWING” in a relationship!

For me, “growing” in a relationship means the following:

• Your partner begins to see you more positively than you see yourself. You might be insecure about a feature or two about you, but they find you attractive always. They encourage you to be yourself.
• Your partner's good habits rub off on you—including health, finance, lifestyle, or psychological habits.
• Your relationship provides practical and emotional support that allows you to pursue your personal goals.
• You begin to persist hard things & difficult situations in life together - as two mature people. Such things grow you together and not apart.
• Your relationship helps you learn to trust that another person is dependable and emotionally available to you.
• When tiny things don’t hurt and resentments don’t creep up on you both - when there are no unspoken, unconscious issues present or overlooked in your relationship.
• When you have the best communication, you speak and listen to one another with intense presence, honesty, patience, and compassion.
• When there’s no comparison of what jobs people have, their homes, their clothes. When you don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. You’re happy with the view out your own front door and you cherish that.
• One of the most important sentiments of human love is intimacy, that means, "in-to-me-see." Desire serves as the connection between love and sex that gets liveliness and spontaneity in your lives and in the relationship. Love is the best aphrodisiac.
• When playfulness, creativity, and commitment help you maintain your freedom that lets you breathe while also remaining deeply connected to your partner.
• When you do not let small anger accumulate & sort things before you call it a day.
• When you work together for a better life and repeat how grateful you’re for having each other around.
• When you share curiosity for same things & sometimes take an interest in what interests the other person too.
• When you go the extra mile for them, relationships cannot be 50–50 all the time. It has to be unconditional at times.