Is
your plate piled high with obligations? Are you trying to be sweet to everyone
just by saying a ‘yes’ to each work allotted by them at the expense of yourself?
Why say ‘no’?
The
number of worthy requests isn't likely to lessen, and you can't add more time
to your day. At the end of the day, you will find yourself doomed to be
over committed.
Saying
no isn't necessarily cruel and selfish. When you say no to a new
commitment, you're honoring your existing obligations and ensuring that you'll
be able to devote high-quality time to them.
Saying
no can allow you to try new things. Just because you helped them once, doesn't
mean you have to do it forever. People can find their own way at the end!
Agreed,
saying ‘no’ is a hard thing. Since, we don't like to introduce negativity into
the conversation, cause a possible confrontation, or have someone think less of
us because we don't agree. That said it's
often important to turn things down.
****************
>
If you’re uncomfortable being so firm, or are dealing with pushy people, it’s OK to say, “Let me think about it
and get back to you.” This gives you a chance to review your schedule, as well
as your feelings about saying "yes" to another commitment, do a
cost-benefit analysis, and then get back to them with a yes or no.
>
If you would really like to do what they’re requesting, but don’t have the time
(or are having trouble accepting that you don’t), it’s fine to say, “I can’t do
this, but I can…” and mention a lesser commitment that you can make. This
way you’ll still be partially involved, but it will be on your own terms.
>
People are often afraid to be rude and severing relationships and burning
bridges! But be firm -- not
defensive or overly apologetic -- and polite. This gives the signal that you
are sympathetic, but will not easily change your mind if pressured.
>
If you decide to tell the person you’ll get back to them, be matter-of-fact and not too promising. If you lead people to
believe you’ll likely say "yes" later, they’ll be more disappointed
with a later "no."
>
If asked for an explanation, remember that you really don’t owe anyone one. “It
doesn’t fit with my schedule,” is perfectly acceptable.
>
“I’m not the best person to help on this. Why don’t you try X?”
>
“No, I can’t.” The simplest and most direct way to say a ‘no’! We build up too
many barriers in our mind to saying no. These barriers are self-created and they are not true at all. Don’t think
so much about saying no and just say it outright. You’ll be surprised when the
reception isn’t half as bad as what you imagined it to be.
>
Make a counter-offer. Sometimes,
you've got to say no for your own good, but that doesn't mean you aren't
interested. Suggest spending less time helping out, or offer to do something
else in a similar vein when you have free time.
****************
Handle
problem requests with bluntness. It's best to be civil and polite, but
sometimes, no matter what you do, people won't respect your kindness. If
someone keeps trying to crack holes in all of your honest excuses, and pesters
you to explain yourself when there's no further explanation you can give, it's
time to put your foot down. The next time this person asks you for something
you don't want to do, say “No, I can't” or “No, I won't.” There's no need to
say anything else. When they ask you to explain, ask them what part of the word
“NO” they don't understand. *winks*
very true Aayesh it's perfectly okay to say no! It might not be easy all the time but it might be the best thing to do to avoid complications later...Your post has so wonderfully out forth suggestions of how we can handle saying no in different state of minds..
ReplyDeletewell said, Nabanita :)
Deletethank you! :)
Very well written....
ReplyDeleteU covered almost all situations :P... (y)
:)
:P yeah! tried to :)
Deletethank you!
Off late I have started saying NO a lot. It is difficult but the peace you get once you do that. Because saying no your someone else is better than saying no to yourself.
ReplyDeletetrue that!
Deletethe peace you get :P *priceless*
Totally agree with your notion of saying NO at times when your inner self doesn't give permission to do something! :)
ReplyDeleteNice post! (Y)
Keep Blogging
thank you Varun, delighted that you enjoyed it :)
DeleteAayesha, you've hit the bullseye. It really is perfectly OK to say NO to avoid complications later on. Good post as usual :)
ReplyDeletethank you Rafaa, means a lot :)
DeleteNice!!
ReplyDeletethank you, Dhiren :)
DeleteI once had issues saying No, so i did relate.. I still have issues telling no, but I am really selective.. I can be very harsh to the ones i don't know and softer than ice cream to the ones I know.. lol weird, i know :P I LOVED this post...
ReplyDelete:P hehe!
Deletethank you for stopping by :)