A Work In Progress!

We were supposed to have it all figured out by now, weren’t we?

We were supposed to know exactly what we wanted and exactly how to get it by now, isn’t that what we were told about being an adult? And then life happened.

As we got older we slowly realized that 95% of what we thought we were supposed to have figured out by now wasn’t anything close to what life is really about. Because the lives we are living are not finite. They are not written in stone. They are not stagnant. They are not about breaking through a certain threshold.

Our lives are one massive, gigantic, and sometimes overwhelming work in progress. There will never come a time when we are complete and finished human beings because the state of being complete and finished is the antithesis of what being human is all about.

Life is malleable. It is constantly throwing new things our way. Life is more a continuous learning experience than anything else. And, this is the way life will always be.

But this is not about how nothing is ever good enough or things are never finished. Products are finished. Books are finished. That project at work that everyone hated was finished. 

There will never be a time in this life where everything makes complete sense. There will never be a time in this life where we won’t struggle at least a little bit. There will never be a time in this life where we are finished working on ourselves. There will never be a time in this life where we have everything figured out. These things will never come to pass because existing consciously necessitates work.

There will always be things that we can get better at. There will always be things that challenge us. There will always be mistakes that we want to correct.

Though the idea of every person on this earth being a continual work in progress may seem daunting, it’s important to understand that this will always be the case. There is no finished state to a human being. And it is the act of understanding this reality that keeps us open to life and the possibilities that come from accepting the nature of being human.

The second we feel like we have everything figured out is the second that we no longer give life the chance to change our minds or enlighten us. The second we feel like we are no longer a work in progress is the second we stop making progress.

And the most progress is often made when we are among our hopes and dreams and side projects and things that inspire us and things we want to change for the better. It is among these things where life exists in its purest form. And it is among these things where we usually realize we are a work in progress and we will always be a work in progress.

As unsettling as this idea might be, it is surely one of life’s most important challenges to understand that everything about who we are is not finite and will continue to evolve and grow as time continues to pass. It would probably be a much easier existence if this wasn’t the case, but the world would be substantially worse off if our lives weren’t a continual work in progress.

My Advice To Indian Teenage Girls!

I wish I knew some of these things in my teens or early twenties, my life would have been completely different. It takes a great deal of understanding to assimilate this post. I hope it helps!

1. Don't be like men. You are different. You are unique. You are a female and there is a difference. What do you do when you see pigs lying in the gutter? Will you go lie with them or you clean the place and make it habitable for the rest of you? Trying to imitate men in the name of equality is not a way to be.

2. If you want to, imitate good men, men that are a good mix of masculine and feminine, men that you want to be the father of your kids. Would you be proud of a father who drinks, smokes, is always concerned about his looks, men who belittle other men, is critical of everything and is financially irresponsible or too much into money, career, competition etc. Don't be like men, be a woman which men want to be like, who is a safe place for men to come to when they are done fighting their battles, women whom even men look up to.

3. Ladies, learn to distinguish between different kinds of attention. You don't want to be someone's past time, you should be someone people show reverence for. When they see you, they are filled with love and respect. They want their daughters to be like you. They want to have you not just in their beds but in their homes, in their hearts, in their life forever. 

4. As a woman, do not pull others down on your way up. When you reach to the top, give your hand to pull other women up. A community of empowered women is much needed to raise the collective consciousness of the society as a whole. Every time you belittle a woman, you expose an insecure part of yourself, learn to work on it.

5. A major reason for attracting toxic partners and tolerate shit is your deep seated insecurities. Your self worth should not depend on how beautiful and successful you are, how many men find you beautiful, how popular you are. Just your existence is worth a million bucks, you don't need to be “something” to be worthy of love and respect. Do not tolerate disrespect, abuse, toxicity to compensate for your imagined shortcomings.

6. Acknowledge the quiet guy sitting in the corner who you think is boring and under confident. He could be the one for you, give him a chance. Try to communicate with all kinds of people, know them, first impression is often the wrong impression.

7. Shed all the concepts that the society taught you. Unlearn. One of which is a concept of “independence”. No one is completely independent, we are all inter-dependent on each other. Having an income is great but don't try to do anything and everything all by yourself, it is exhausting, ask for help whenever you need. Feeling unsafe? Ask your brother to drop you, want to lift an heavy object? Ask your husband, men opening doors for you? Appreciate. Asking for help will not take away your independence. Similarly, don't misuse your financial independence as an excuse to feel superior, being rebellious, immature and outspoken. Learn to use your intuition and wisdom in every situation. Learn balance of everything!

8. Don't tolerate mediocre things in life. Recognize the divinity within you. It has nothing to with size, color of your skin, clothes you wear, feminine is innate to our existence, our bodies are perfect ground for seeds of femininity to sprout, when in tune with our divinity, we are more at peace, more patient, more grounded, sensual, full of love, compassion, empathy. People can't help getting drawn towards us. No, it is not submission, not helplessness, not cowardice rather opposite, it is empowering, it is liberating, it is fearless way of living.

9. When in self doubt, look into the mirror and for once just once try to look beyond the physical, beyond your thin hairs and thick nose, beyond your saggy skin and bat wings, beyond your love handles and thunder thighs. Beyond the superficial color your skin, you are a divine being radiating colorful lights, encompassing the entire universe within you. You are just that, nothing less. See it, embrace it. Be it. 

Love. 

Ph.D : An Academic Adventure Of A Lifetime!

The PhD-as-journey becomes a way of telling self and others the story of the PhD process and the various experiences, emotions, and challenges that come along the way. The notion of the journey sums up the sense of movement, personal growth and change! Here are my learnings/observations and narrations of the ups and downs of my journey until now:

1. Patience & ability to deal with pressure

PhD can be really frustrating and there may be times you would feel like just giving up. Even though you may have completed the work from your end there are so many other factors that influence your progress. That is why you need patience and lots of it-

• The supervisor might not be available, dates for presentations, meetings might be difficult to secure. Comments from advisors could take too long or they could join some other institute mid-way.
• If you are getting the results and publications in time (what you and your supervisor have planned), then you are in a good phase of the Ph.D. And, here is your chance to make best out of it. However, for some reasons, if you are lagging then again pressure builds.
• Papers you send for publications could sometimes take months. It could be an endless process of rejections, reviews and revisions before you can finally get published.
• Getting married while doing PhD is not easy with the lack of time and less money from stipend. All this while your friends who could be graduates have good jobs and have been promoted and even have kids.
• Dealing with the pressure that comes with family and relatives constantly asking you about when are you completing your PhD.
• Holidays are rare and even then you might have to work. The only time you really get to travel is during conferences. Even that is impossible now due to Covid-19 situation.
• You might be a teaching assistant or taking classes or organizing conferences or doing some other work which will take up more of your time.

Basically, doing Ph.D. is an art of handling the pressure, and if you are good in that, then you will find less frustration. However, if you're unable to handle the load, then you will learn it during the Ph.D. And, undoubtedly, you will master the things (like pressure handling to minimize the frustration level) that can help you to grow your career. There is plenty of time to learn, improve and emerge. 

2. Drive + Humility + Hard work

It could take you anywhere between 3 to 6 years to complete your PhD. If you are not driven, it could be easy to slip into lethargy and depression as you counter setbacks on the way. You might waste valuable energy and lose focus. Treat every setback as a bump in the road.

The transition from student to scholar is the primary task of a doctoral journey. It involves learning how to (a) read and critically interpret the original works of important theorists and researchers contained in the literature of your field, (b) design and conduct research projects of your own (such as the dissertation), and (c) write in a style and voice acceptable to other scholars. 

So while you need to be driven to progress forward, you also need to be patient knowing it would still take time. This combination of drive-patience quality is tough but so important to achieve.

3. People skills

Although a lot of your PhD work involves you working alone in your lab or cubicle or home, it also involves interaction and working with others.

The most important is your relation with your supervisor. A supervisor might be kind and helpful but might not have enough knowledge in your area to help you a lot. Or your supervisor might be a genius and very knowledgeable but might have a nature that makes it difficult to work with them. It is up to you to figure out the best way to work with them as everyone has a different kind of personality and this relationship lasts for years and involves constantly working with them.

Besides your supervisor, there are also committee members with whom you may need to interact at times. Networking is important as you might need to take help from other colleagues, juniors or seniors for your PhD work or for collaborating to publish a paper together.

So although it is your PhD - that of an individual, it is never achieved without the involvement of a lot of different people and that is why people skills are necessary- knowing how to work and what works best with them.

4. (Mis)Using the freedom

The nicest part of a PhD is the freedom. The worst part is the freedom. Understand this! You have to be wise with how you use your time and make the most of the opportunity to study and research something you’re passionate about. A PhD student who understands this difference separates himself/herself from the rest automatically!

P.S: 

1. There are days when you don't understand something or you don't get desired results in this journey. Similarly, there are days when you might get scolded for no fault of yours. All these things are frustrating but if you were to look at it, these things happen in almost any career. 

2. Ph.D is an endurance test. So, even with all these aspects, enjoying the doctorate journey is what matters the most. It will have its share of ups and downs. How you handle them will determine whether you succeed or fail in your quest.

9 Things Every Girl Should Know Early On In Life!

1. About taxes, savings, and being independent
2. Basic cooking
3. How to take one’s mental health seriously
4. Spare some ME time!
5. Never change for someone until you no longer recognize yourself
6. Take care of your skin since a young age, your skin will thank you later!
7. Never settle just because you are a certain age..
8. Know the difference between a man who flatters you, compliments you and the man who spends money on you, who invests in you. Know the difference between a man who views you as a property and a man who views you properly, a man who lusts after you and a man who loves you, be with a man who believes you are a gift to him!
9. Accept yourself, the way you are. Love yourself, unapologetically!

4 Super Useful Things I Suggest You Do - That Need 30 Seconds Or Less!

There are so many things that need 30 seconds or even less. Here are a few, I would suggest! :)

1. Boost Your Confidence and Reduce Stress (POWER POSE!): Find a quiet place. Stand up straight and lift your chin. Keep a straight posture and a superhero stance. This releases confidence-boosting testosterone instantly! You can try doing this prior to an interview or public speech. Or it can simple be used to help with stress!

2. Micro-meditate: Take that tiny bit of time, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to build mindfulness in this digital age. This helps in clearing your head, especially when you’re in the middle of the day & feeling anxious.

3. Stretch: 30 seconds is pretty much the perfect amount of time to hold a stretch! It is relaxing, soothing and makes you flexible!

4. Pay your online bill(s): It only takes a few seconds to fill up your card details and pay up. It decreases your debt/pending payments. It's great adulting! ;)

Book Review #133 : Good Vibes, Good Life

Want to better yourself? This book will help you get there!

Firstly, I was taken aback by the simple but truly pleasing design and aesthetics of the book - it looks so beautiful sitting on my study desk!

Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King is a Self Help book in which the author talks about very important things like self-love, humility, failure, meditation, empowering thoughts and living a greater life. There are so many references to other books and scientific principles which makes me believe that all the things which are being talked about are well researched. There are so many things in this book which a person might already know but has perhaps forgotten about. There are numerous life lessons which have the potential to change a person's life.

The book is primarily based on the Law of Vibration which affects our entire being. When paid attention to and used for good, it helps a person to achieve success, peace and happiness. I really liked the fact that so many other aspects of life such as fear, anxiety and negativity in general are being dealt with in the book and practical solutions are being provided to deal with them. I also liked the fact that the author has not belittled the impact of these things but has rather discussed the situations which he faced in his life and how he dealt with them. Life is not painted as picture perfect heavenly ride but numerous solutions are provided to deal with difficult situations which makes this book a helpful read.

I would suggest you to read this book at a slow pace so that you can introspect and think through the solutions provided in this book to make your life better. It is a book that guides you while being packed with honest and insightful perspectives.

I have learnt that self-love is not just a concept but rather an art to be mastered. I think that the interpretation of self-love can often become confused with being selfish or inconsiderate. However, it is rather an embodiment of ‘empowerment and liberation’; something which I in fact once found difficult to comprehend and understand. By Vex King splitting the book into seven parts, he allows the reader to clearly follow the journey to finding their purpose, practicing self-love beautifully and achieving ultimate happiness. By breaking the path into stages, one is able to fully explore and focus on different aspects of their life to wholly develop as a person.

One thing which really struck is me how we are the creator of our own lives. We hold the power. What we want we can have if we set the right intention and act. Anything that happens in our life (not only ourselves but our sphere of influence, experiences and painful moments) are a result of our own emotions, thoughts and actions. “So if you are thinking the same thoughts and you know that your thoughts create your reality- then same thoughts lead to the same choices, the same choices lead to the same behaviours, the same behaviours create the same experiences, the same experiences produce the same feelings and the same feelings drive the very same thoughts.” It becomes an endless cycle. Thus, to gain control of our thoughts we must be able to understand our emotions and be able to process them so that we can control our reactions. Only then can we transform them so they have a positively impact.

I would like to say that King’s meticulous, considered structure, easy to read yet complex and inspiring content and most importantly his kindness, genuineness, authenticity and passion not only make ‘Good Vibes Good Life’ an resonant book to remember but also portrays a beautiful journey to one leading a life of purpose, possibility and positivity.

Verdict: Amazing from start to finish. This is a book that everyone can relate to and is a brilliant guide to raising your vibration and self-love. There's no hidden meaning. Vex has literally laid everything out for you. This book has definitely helped me a lot. The self-growth I intend to achieve is something I owe to myself. Living a life, I truly love is the journey that excites me!

Overall, a 'CANNOT put down' book! 😊

Ratings: 5/5

Book Review #130 : Irrationally Passionate

Publisher : HarperBusiness

Author : Jason Kothari

Genre :  Non-fiction

Price : Hardcover Rs 523/-

Pages : 264

Irrationally Passionate is about the story of an entrepreneur who has successfully revived the fortune of quite a few distressed companies. Jason talks in detail about his turnaround from rebel to entrepreneur! If you like reading stories of powerful individuals and what they did, how they did and importantly, how they turned around things even when not everything was in their favour, you should definitely read this one.

Irrationally Passionate reveals the inside story of how a rebel, train-wreck kid transformed himself into a successful young entrepreneur and business leader who became one of the top ten paid executives in India while only in his 30s. Jason’s inspiring journey has something for everyone, right from students to entrepreneurs to corporate CEOs to even parents of students and entrepreneurs.

Irrationally Passionate is written in lucid language. You don't need a dictionary by your side! The language used is a fine balance between rich and simple sentences. I relished reading the novel. It was hard for me to believe that it’s Jason’s first novel. He writes very elegantly and effortlessly! The advice in the book seems to come from a friend directly conveying his life experiences to you!

Jason's fighting spirit and determination that reflects in his story makes the reader respect him.  Irrationally Passionate is a highly personal book which shares his turnaround story and learning. It is super interesting from page 1. A self-made entrepreneur, who had enormous courage in difficult situations, great fighting spirit and who took risks – his story needed to be told. The sharp and dynamic leadership qualities of Jason make for a balanced entrepreneur. Even in tough times, he maintains his humility and sense of humor. This book is definitely a very engrossing read with generous sprinkling of wisdom.

Highly recommended book for all those who love motivational books that can really open your eyes and provide you with rich insights. To conclude, I think the book is extremely inspiring, hard hitting, thought provoking and full of content. It is a learning experience; it is a precious book which can be read again and again! Full of actual real-life lessons, this book is a must-read for young readers and entrepreneurs to drive clarity and vision in their thinking. Jason inspires you to dream big and keep working for it! 

VERDICT: Buy this book. Read it. And imbibe it within yourself to give a new direction to your life! This book is a gem. It is a must read for entrepreneurs. 

Ratings: 5/5

P.S: This review is a part of the biggest "Book Review Program" "Indian Bloggers". Participate now to get free books!

Book Review #115 : IKIGAI

I recently completed reading a very inspiring book — IKIGAI — The Japanese Secret to a Long Happy Life. The book is authored by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. Today, I am going to talk about my learning from the book. The book touches the various aspects of life which can help us achieve a long happy life. It is based on ancient, well practised Japanese technique called — IKIGAI.

If you google the word, you will get various meanings like : A reason for being, encompassing joy, a sense of purpose and meaning and a feeling of well-being, Or, The word derives from iki, meaning life and kai, meaning the realisation of hopes and expectations. But the one I liked the most is — “A reason to jump out of bed each morning!” This book helps you deep dive into discovering the meaning of your life. It is quite evident that the authors stress more on discovering the meaning of life rather than creating one for you! If you have discovered the meaning of your life, you need to completely immerse into the experience without being distracted by the surroundings and you attain the flow. The book also talks about some very interesting techniques to practice which can help you achieve the flow.

Wabi Sabi Technique:

The book concludes after introducing to another Japanese Technique called — Wabi-Sabi. This techniques talks about finding beauty in imperfect, incomplete things. Here flawed is preferred over perfection. Japanese believe that only imperfect, incomplete and ephemeral things are beautiful because they resemble the nature.

Negatives:

What I found a missed opportunity was the fact that the writers didn’t include a resource list in the book with references. Many of their statements can be backed up with books and studies. I think the addition of sources would have made their message even stronger.

Also, it was sometimes difficult to determine whether the book was about how to get old healthily instead of finding your ikigai. I was imagining sometimes,  is this a book about finding your inner happiness or about healthy aging?

Verdict:

To conclude, I think the book is extremely inspiring and full of content. I could attain my flow while reading it. It is a nice, entertaining book that reads very easily and quickly and can certainly motivate you to live healthier. I wouldn’t go so far by saying that this book will help you to find your own ikigai. This is something very personal and this can be something very big or something very small. This book is not really about that. However, it gives you an idea of how it feels once you’ve found it and explains why it’s so healthy. I can also recommend this book if you’re looking for great insights and inspiration to live healthier and more positive. A great self help book.

Rating: 4/5

P.S: The book was a precious birthday gift.

Book Review #114 : the sun and her flowers

The Sun and Her Flowers, by Rupi Kaur, is perfect for anyone who has recently broken up with someone who did not nurture your soul sufficiently to sprout. For all shattered spirits in search of a safe haven, this poetic collection is nectar to busy little injured bees. In a garden where precious buds are in dire need of water, The Sun and Her Flowers reflects souls who rise above the barriers that hinder their growth. It is a passage between decay, awakening, and healing. Rupi Kaur’s most recent anthology is “the recipe of life.”

Rupi Kaur vividly plays with paradoxical symbols. The book cover contained sunflowers, typically resembling joy and vitality, and its content depicts themes of woe and melancholy. It symbolises the process of regaining light after prolonged, somber nights of despair. Even vibrant and cheerful beings, like sunflowers, can wilt and suffer with scarce nurturing.

The Sun and Her Flowers encompasses an enticing table of contents, akin to a flower cycle: wilting, falling, rooting, rising, and blooming. Each category portrays poems with illustrations done by Kaur herself, relevant to their respective themes.

One of the many reasons to love this book  is its capacity to truly mend and heal broken hearts stuck in despair and darkness. This anthology provides light at the end of the readers’ tunnels, and give hope to souls who consider themselves unfortunate.

If you read her first book (Milk and Honey), it's still in Rupi's signature style, but she manages to cover similar topics from a different standpoint. It kind of feels as though her books are maturing with her, as this one handles the issues from Milk and Honey in a more mature, learned tone.

Even if some of the poems in the sun and her flowers seem like recycled oldies-but-goodies, there's no denying that Kaur is brilliant. She's not afraid to speak her mind and talk about taboo subjects, such as female infanticide, immigration, rape, abuse, mental illness and sexual empowerment. Her poems contain difficult subject matter and can be hard to read, but they all hold a unique power that can and will speak to many people around the world. This leaves readers feeling as though Kaur has gone deep into the depths of their personal lives and put all the heart-wrenching feelings they once felt down on paper.

Reading The Sun and Her Flowers will honestly change your life and your relationships with yourself and others. I am truly looking forward to reading her future publications. Definitely recommend that ALL young women read this, if for no other reason than to see that we are all sharing very similar struggles in love and life in general.

Ratings : 5/5 

Top 15, 2018 Life Lessons

Top 15, 2018 Life Lessons: 

Since 2018 is coming to a close, I thought I would reflect on some of the lessons I learned this year. What a year! Today, I’d like to recap and share my biggest life lessons of 2018. It’s been the best year so far but that doesn’t mean everything was going my way. Read to know more... :)

1. Fall madly in love with yourself. "I am enough". 

2. Have unwavering faith; things will fall into place.

3. Never take life for granted.

4. Be more observing.

5. It’s okay to dream big.

6. Only when you move away from your comfort zone and cocooned life, you discover other facets to yourself.

7. Listen to the little encouraging inner voice more than the self doubt demon who plagues you. 

8. Don’t be scared if you fall off the wagon.

9. Dignity lies in getting a sense of the ending and letting go what’s not meant for you, gracefully.

10. Not everything you see on social media is real or goals.

11. Worry about your craft. Not the algorithm.

12. Genuine love is a privilege. Do whatever it takes to nourish it, so it lasts forever. 

13. Enjoy and be in love with the “process” of something not just the end result. Be in love with the fight too, not just the victory. Be obsessed with improvement.

14. Our proudest achievements come in the face of the greatest adversity.

15. Thoughts become things.

Book Review #104 : The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck

The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck: A Counterintuitive Approach To Living A Good Life, is a good guide to figuring out what you want in life and at work, and how to achieve it. The route to this, Manson believes, lies in not caring too much about everything. Once you give up the need to feel exceptional and be positive and happy all the time, as well as your fear of failure, you will be better off. “The world is constantly telling you that the path to a better life is more, more, more—buy more, own more, make more, f*ck more, be more,” says Manson, who advocates that people focus instead on figuring out what’s important. As Manson puts it, what determines your success is not what you want to enjoy, but how much suffering you’re willing to sustain to get there.

Using his own life as an example in the book, Manson talks about how the pressure to be exceptional led him to drugs and serial womanizing. It’s only when he realized that neither he nor his problems were special that he cleaned up his act and worked towards becoming an entrepreneur. He credits his success to his lack of fear of failure. “Improvement at anything is based on thousands of tiny failures, and the magnitude of your success is based on how many times you’ve failed at something. If someone is better than you at something, then it’s likely because she has failed at it more than you have. If someone is worse than you, it’s likely because he hasn’t been through all the painful learning experiences that you have,” he writes.

The insightful and funny perspectives on life are what make the book well worth a read. It’s full of breezy advice as well as the I’m okay-You’re okay type of transactional analysis. Its success lies in the fact that it’s all very colloquial and conversational, and so easy to digest.

Well I was skeptical, people were saying this book is just a compilation of his blog posts and there's not much new material in here. It's true on some level. But not entirely. The order of chapters and the flow, all paints a bigger picture than reading just his blog.

On a negative side, since this is a compilation of his blog posts, it doesn't flow as well as if he would've written it from scratch. Each new chapter has some level of disconnection from the previous. It doesn't interfere with the experience, but not really. It did bother me.

Feels like, he has a lot more things to say, but hasn't said it. This book a bit very restrictive. More explaining and elaborating would've gone a longer way.

RATING - 4/5 

Follow Your Bliss ...

 

“Follow your bliss ... If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” — Joseph Campbell

Joseph Campbell, who specialized in applying lessons from mythology to modern human experiences, was the first to use the phrase “follow your bliss.” He saw it as an essential part of the formula for living life to the fullest.

In other words, if you do things you are passionate about, you'll feel fully alive and doors will open up for you. Sacred space is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

Anyone who is willing to leave the well-trodden path that many before them have traveled and follow their bliss on the road less-traveled can do the same thing. Is it easy to follow your bliss? Of course not; that is why Campbell calls it “the hero’s journey”: You’ll have a chance to encounter every dragon (fear) that lives within the darkest caverns of your mind that wants to keep your life small and safe... and I can attest to that. 

Your re-defining moment doesn’t happen just one time in your life; it happens every time you make a decision to follow your bliss, again, and again, and again. There are new doors awaiting your arrival. The adventure is its own reward — but it’s necessarily dangerous, having both negative and positive possibilities, all of them beyond control.

Having said all this, there are a certain “bliss myths” I want to cover here : 

Myth #1: Following your bliss means simply doing the things that make you happy.

Myth #2: Following your bliss means quitting your day job.

Myth #3: Following your bliss means you’ll be instantly successful and feel blissful all the time.

Myth #4: You only have one bliss. 

Bliss may be defined as a natural direction you can take as a way to maximize your sense of joy, fulfilment, and purpose. Sometimes people equate bliss with being in a state of euphoria, but in reality, being blissful is the state you’re in when you’re doing what brings you a deep sense of joy. When you’re in a blissful state, you’re listening to the voice of your heart. To achieve and maintain a state of bliss, it’s important to be open-minded and to be a risk-taker—walking the road less traveled. 

To seek your own personal bliss, you might wish to sit quietly and meditate about a time in your life when you were the happiest. Remain with that moment, as well as the feelings stirring inside you. When you think you’ve figured out at least one thing that makes you feel blissful, then stay with it. Write about that state. Recording your feelings can help you dig deeper into self-discovery and determine the ways in which you can follow your bliss—always keeping in mind that bliss is a calling that’s calling you. Bliss is a winding road. It is the byproduct of a life well lived. Find your bliss station. Does this idea resonate with you? Let me know in the comments below!

Book Review #102 : The Last Lecture

If you know that you have a very short time of good health, how would you like to spend your time? You want to fulfill your dreams, spend quality time with your family or do what you are best at. Very similar is the case of Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was asked to give a lecture and he couldn’t imagine it to be his last one. Randy said “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand”. 

This book is inspiring, motivating and can craft the inanimate to life. The author has beautifully combined humor, intelligence, and wisdom. He has exemplified many stories which cover subjects like hard work, team work, sacrifice, self-confidence, modesty, dreaming big, perseverance, positivity, courage and dealing with adversity. For the reader, the book is a glimpse into the life of a dying man who fights every moment to be alive and not a mere story.

He finds himself winning the parent lottery. He was influenced by his loving and supporting parents. During his life, he learnt many lessons from his experiences and has shared them in a striking manner. He also reveals how he achieved his childhood dream of becoming a Disney Imagineer, getting to Zero Gravity, being the coolest guy at amusement park and playing in the National football League (which he never made it).

The book shows a transformational change of his life when he is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, portrays the changes in his day to day life and how he managed to achieve more in those turbulent times. He always maintained a positive outlook. Pausch loved his wife and children and he expressed it after every slide of his last lecture. He has dedicated his last lecture to his children and concludes by looking forward to sharing his dreams for his children. He recounts that his wife Jai was his caregiver and this means a lot to him. This book makes us feel like family to him, supporting him in his battle against a terminal cancer.

In a chapter entitled, “It’s About How to Live Your Life,” Pausch talks of his cancer and it’s effects on the remainder of his life. He described how he tried to live his life and offered some tips on coping saying “this is what worked for me.” He talks about giving yourself permission to dream big, and achieving your goals. He points out that we all have a finite amount of time and energy and that time spent complaining cannot help us achieve our goals. 

The book is an easy read, that’s packed with a lot of punch. It’s a collection of 61 short stories and is a celebration of a life worth living. Pausch packed a lot of distilled wisdom and knowledge of his 47 years.

There are many nuggets of wisdom interspersed throughout The Last Lecture. 

If you want something bad enough, don’t give up. 

Luck = Preparation + Opportunity. 

Recognize when it’s time to change your strategy. “I signed up for the hardest treatments that could be thrown at me because I wanted to be around as long as possible to be there for my kids.” When Pausch realized that, that was not going to be the case, he changed his strategy to leaving a legacy and spending quality time with his wife and each of his three children. 

Get the fundamentals down for everything. Have you mastered the fundamentals for your job? 

Your attitude affects the outcome of every situation. 

Complaining does not work as a strategy. 

Value people more than you value things. 

While reading The Last Lecture, I gleaned three questions to differentiate us, and I’m still trying to answer them for myself: 

What are three things that matter the most to you? 

What’s unique about you? 

What do you alone truly have to offer? 

Written in a highly personable and conversational fashion, The Last Lecture is part autobiography, part life lesson, and all heart. Through a quick tour of his life and career, Randy demonstrates how one should live while being candid about his impending death.

Despite his condition, Randy’s writing is light-hearted and upbeat. One can’t tell from the prose that its the work of a dying man as its often peppered with deadpan and occasionally self deprecating humour. 

Perhaps the hardest part of the book to read are the sections where Randy writes about his family. One can feel how painful it must be for him to plan so many things ahead – writing little notes to his kids, making videos, bringing his family on various activities etc – while in the throes of death.

It is certainly admirable that Randy manages to rise above his circumstances and to continue to be a teacher even unto his death. As the author himself has shared, the book isn’t about dying but about living. I do know for sure that it has provided me with lots of food for thought about what I should do with my own life.

What readers take away from The Last Lecture is in this same vein. The book isn’t about one man’s struggle against cancer, or the outcome of his treatment (Pausch died on July 25, 2008). It’s not an overcoming-all-odds story. It’s about making the most out of what you have, and enjoying every minute of the adventure, regardless of how it turns out in the end.

RATING -5/5 

A must read.

Power Of Thoughts - 5 Ways To A Good Day!

We go to sleep each night and wake up in the morning to a new day with new opportunities - a day filled with the power and freedom to choose. The minute we wake up, we can choose to get out of bed and make the most of our day or press the snooze button, roll over, pull the blankets over our head, and feel dread about the day ahead. This is nobody's choice but ours. Generally, the way we start our day influences how we feel for the rest of the day.

5 ways in which I start my day off on a positive note:

1. When you wake up in the morning, take a few minutes to check-in (go within). Take a few deep breathes and find something that you're grateful for (your children, partner, your health, the warm bed you are in, nature outside your window). Take this time to be thankful for all that you have in your life instead of wasting your energy on thinking about what you don't have.

2. Instead of pouncing straight out of bed, spend 5 to 10 minutes (or however long it takes) meditating. Simply observe your breath. Breathe in for a count of 4 to 5, allowing your belly and chest to expand, and breathe out also for a count of 4 to 5 allowing everything to drop away. Notice how your breath enters your body, notice how your breath leaves your body, and notice the little pause between each breath. This will allow you to create a sense of peace within and it will also help get you into a good head space before your feet touch the ground.

3. Take a few moments while in the shower and/or while eating breakfast just to be present. Feel the water on your skin, taste the different flavours in your food. It feels good and it's an amazing way to consciously set your energy and intention towards your day.

4. Before breakfast have large glass of water with half a lemon squeezed into it and you may even like to add some ginger. This will assist with digestion and is effective in body cleansing and detoxification - it will help get things moving. Follow this with a nutritious breakfast to kick-start your metabolism and fuel your body to face the day ahead. You have just had maybe ten to twelve hours of fasting - your body needs sustenance and is ready to be refuelled, so skipping breakfast is a big no, no!

5. Get clear about your intentions for the day. For example you can intend to have a productive day. You can intend to have quality time with your family and friends with no distractions. You can intend to have a fun and brilliant day. You can intend to have a calm and peaceful day. You can intend to learn something new or be helpful to someone. Whatever it is just be clear about what it is you want your day to be. In order to create, manifest, and attract it, you must first align your heart, mind, and spirit with your intention. In other words, you truly need to feel it!

Many people don't understand the power of thoughts, because they live every day on autopilot, doing most things out of habit, and therefore they create their reality unconsciously, as if they’re wearing a blindfold. But whether we’re aware of it or not, we create our reality with our thoughts and behaviour - and this means we have the power to choose to be a conscious, mindful creator and change our reality to what we really want it to be. Remember, you choose your thoughts, you choose your behavior, you choose the outcome. And every choice you make determines how you feel physically, mentally, and emotionally.

Now, let me ask you this: How do you start your day? Is it with gratification and happiness—or doom and gloom? A day is easily ruined if started by holding onto negativity and resentment. So when you wake tomorrow, ask yourself, do I want to think and act like I did yesterday, or do I choose to be a new me today?