Book Review #139 : Atomic Habits

In my humble opinion, this book is so good that I would like to file it under the elite category of books that can actually change your life!

In this book published by Penguin Random House India, the author focuses on “atomic habits” – a term that he uses to describe small improvements made on a daily basis so that small wins and tiny breakthroughs add up to noticeable change that can be celebrated. He builds out a nice 4-point framework for building habits and explains some good practices built around behavioral trigger that can help us reshape our lives.

Atomic Habits is a great book if you are looking for some prescriptive which will lay out a bunch of do’s and don’ts for creating new habits and breaking old ones. It is full of directly actionable advice. James Clear — presents in this book, very compelling arguments and examples from his in-depth research spanning multiple areas like sports, arts, science, business, history etc., to pick interesting nuggets that serve to push his framework. And his frameworks are very practical, with a good mix of examples and some thought-provoking life philosophies as well.

What is the reasoning behind the idea that tiny improvements made consistently are far more meaningful in the long run? The author offers a useful analogy. He writes, “Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. The same way that money multiplies through compound interest, the effects of your habits multiply as you repeat them.”

It is not just pages of pep talk stuck together. It offers a step-by-step plan for building habits that can serve us for a lifetime. The author translates research into everyday language that can be grasped quickly. Another valuable suggestion is the practice of habit stacking, wherein you “tie your desired behavior into something you already do each day.” The author also suggests using habit trackers and accountability partners to help you. Perhaps the best way to use this book is to study the main principles, and not take the recommendations too literally. People live under different circumstances, and what autonomy means to one person may not mean the same to another. Do not miss the appendix because it has pointers for additional reading, and links to online resources for readers who are keen to understand how the ideas in this book work!

Overall, I recommend ‘Atomic Habits’ because of the way it blends in some practical tips with powerful stories that align with those tips. As someone who has been trying to change habits since quite a few years (and failing miserably), I concede that this book helps me take my efforts a bit more seriously. This definitely helped me not only increase awareness in matters like health & fitness and hobbies, but also made me create some systems around these that brought to life some intentionality into how I approach these. That, to me, is the biggest take-away, from this book. I’d strongly encourage you to pick up a copy and read the rest for yourself. If you’re struggling with your habits, this is very much a book for you.

Ratings: 4.8/5

A Work In Progress!

We were supposed to have it all figured out by now, weren’t we?

We were supposed to know exactly what we wanted and exactly how to get it by now, isn’t that what we were told about being an adult? And then life happened.

As we got older we slowly realized that 95% of what we thought we were supposed to have figured out by now wasn’t anything close to what life is really about. Because the lives we are living are not finite. They are not written in stone. They are not stagnant. They are not about breaking through a certain threshold.

Our lives are one massive, gigantic, and sometimes overwhelming work in progress. There will never come a time when we are complete and finished human beings because the state of being complete and finished is the antithesis of what being human is all about.

Life is malleable. It is constantly throwing new things our way. Life is more a continuous learning experience than anything else. And, this is the way life will always be.

But this is not about how nothing is ever good enough or things are never finished. Products are finished. Books are finished. That project at work that everyone hated was finished. 

There will never be a time in this life where everything makes complete sense. There will never be a time in this life where we won’t struggle at least a little bit. There will never be a time in this life where we are finished working on ourselves. There will never be a time in this life where we have everything figured out. These things will never come to pass because existing consciously necessitates work.

There will always be things that we can get better at. There will always be things that challenge us. There will always be mistakes that we want to correct.

Though the idea of every person on this earth being a continual work in progress may seem daunting, it’s important to understand that this will always be the case. There is no finished state to a human being. And it is the act of understanding this reality that keeps us open to life and the possibilities that come from accepting the nature of being human.

The second we feel like we have everything figured out is the second that we no longer give life the chance to change our minds or enlighten us. The second we feel like we are no longer a work in progress is the second we stop making progress.

And the most progress is often made when we are among our hopes and dreams and side projects and things that inspire us and things we want to change for the better. It is among these things where life exists in its purest form. And it is among these things where we usually realize we are a work in progress and we will always be a work in progress.

As unsettling as this idea might be, it is surely one of life’s most important challenges to understand that everything about who we are is not finite and will continue to evolve and grow as time continues to pass. It would probably be a much easier existence if this wasn’t the case, but the world would be substantially worse off if our lives weren’t a continual work in progress.

My Advice To Indian Teenage Girls!

I wish I knew some of these things in my teens or early twenties, my life would have been completely different. It takes a great deal of understanding to assimilate this post. I hope it helps!

1. Don't be like men. You are different. You are unique. You are a female and there is a difference. What do you do when you see pigs lying in the gutter? Will you go lie with them or you clean the place and make it habitable for the rest of you? Trying to imitate men in the name of equality is not a way to be.

2. If you want to, imitate good men, men that are a good mix of masculine and feminine, men that you want to be the father of your kids. Would you be proud of a father who drinks, smokes, is always concerned about his looks, men who belittle other men, is critical of everything and is financially irresponsible or too much into money, career, competition etc. Don't be like men, be a woman which men want to be like, who is a safe place for men to come to when they are done fighting their battles, women whom even men look up to.

3. Ladies, learn to distinguish between different kinds of attention. You don't want to be someone's past time, you should be someone people show reverence for. When they see you, they are filled with love and respect. They want their daughters to be like you. They want to have you not just in their beds but in their homes, in their hearts, in their life forever. 

4. As a woman, do not pull others down on your way up. When you reach to the top, give your hand to pull other women up. A community of empowered women is much needed to raise the collective consciousness of the society as a whole. Every time you belittle a woman, you expose an insecure part of yourself, learn to work on it.

5. A major reason for attracting toxic partners and tolerate shit is your deep seated insecurities. Your self worth should not depend on how beautiful and successful you are, how many men find you beautiful, how popular you are. Just your existence is worth a million bucks, you don't need to be “something” to be worthy of love and respect. Do not tolerate disrespect, abuse, toxicity to compensate for your imagined shortcomings.

6. Acknowledge the quiet guy sitting in the corner who you think is boring and under confident. He could be the one for you, give him a chance. Try to communicate with all kinds of people, know them, first impression is often the wrong impression.

7. Shed all the concepts that the society taught you. Unlearn. One of which is a concept of “independence”. No one is completely independent, we are all inter-dependent on each other. Having an income is great but don't try to do anything and everything all by yourself, it is exhausting, ask for help whenever you need. Feeling unsafe? Ask your brother to drop you, want to lift an heavy object? Ask your husband, men opening doors for you? Appreciate. Asking for help will not take away your independence. Similarly, don't misuse your financial independence as an excuse to feel superior, being rebellious, immature and outspoken. Learn to use your intuition and wisdom in every situation. Learn balance of everything!

8. Don't tolerate mediocre things in life. Recognize the divinity within you. It has nothing to with size, color of your skin, clothes you wear, feminine is innate to our existence, our bodies are perfect ground for seeds of femininity to sprout, when in tune with our divinity, we are more at peace, more patient, more grounded, sensual, full of love, compassion, empathy. People can't help getting drawn towards us. No, it is not submission, not helplessness, not cowardice rather opposite, it is empowering, it is liberating, it is fearless way of living.

9. When in self doubt, look into the mirror and for once just once try to look beyond the physical, beyond your thin hairs and thick nose, beyond your saggy skin and bat wings, beyond your love handles and thunder thighs. Beyond the superficial color your skin, you are a divine being radiating colorful lights, encompassing the entire universe within you. You are just that, nothing less. See it, embrace it. Be it. 

Love. 

Haiku #18 ~ Self Love

HAIKU : A poetry form, with three lines. The first being 5 syllables, the second 7, then 5 in the third.

To give love can cause -

pain - if there is no self love.

First, you must love you!

Ph.D : An Academic Adventure Of A Lifetime!

The PhD-as-journey becomes a way of telling self and others the story of the PhD process and the various experiences, emotions, and challenges that come along the way. The notion of the journey sums up the sense of movement, personal growth and change! Here are my learnings/observations and narrations of the ups and downs of my journey until now:

1. Patience & ability to deal with pressure

PhD can be really frustrating and there may be times you would feel like just giving up. Even though you may have completed the work from your end there are so many other factors that influence your progress. That is why you need patience and lots of it-

• The supervisor might not be available, dates for presentations, meetings might be difficult to secure. Comments from advisors could take too long or they could join some other institute mid-way.
• If you are getting the results and publications in time (what you and your supervisor have planned), then you are in a good phase of the Ph.D. And, here is your chance to make best out of it. However, for some reasons, if you are lagging then again pressure builds.
• Papers you send for publications could sometimes take months. It could be an endless process of rejections, reviews and revisions before you can finally get published.
• Getting married while doing PhD is not easy with the lack of time and less money from stipend. All this while your friends who could be graduates have good jobs and have been promoted and even have kids.
• Dealing with the pressure that comes with family and relatives constantly asking you about when are you completing your PhD.
• Holidays are rare and even then you might have to work. The only time you really get to travel is during conferences. Even that is impossible now due to Covid-19 situation.
• You might be a teaching assistant or taking classes or organizing conferences or doing some other work which will take up more of your time.

Basically, doing Ph.D. is an art of handling the pressure, and if you are good in that, then you will find less frustration. However, if you're unable to handle the load, then you will learn it during the Ph.D. And, undoubtedly, you will master the things (like pressure handling to minimize the frustration level) that can help you to grow your career. There is plenty of time to learn, improve and emerge. 

2. Drive + Humility + Hard work

It could take you anywhere between 3 to 6 years to complete your PhD. If you are not driven, it could be easy to slip into lethargy and depression as you counter setbacks on the way. You might waste valuable energy and lose focus. Treat every setback as a bump in the road.

The transition from student to scholar is the primary task of a doctoral journey. It involves learning how to (a) read and critically interpret the original works of important theorists and researchers contained in the literature of your field, (b) design and conduct research projects of your own (such as the dissertation), and (c) write in a style and voice acceptable to other scholars. 

So while you need to be driven to progress forward, you also need to be patient knowing it would still take time. This combination of drive-patience quality is tough but so important to achieve.

3. People skills

Although a lot of your PhD work involves you working alone in your lab or cubicle or home, it also involves interaction and working with others.

The most important is your relation with your supervisor. A supervisor might be kind and helpful but might not have enough knowledge in your area to help you a lot. Or your supervisor might be a genius and very knowledgeable but might have a nature that makes it difficult to work with them. It is up to you to figure out the best way to work with them as everyone has a different kind of personality and this relationship lasts for years and involves constantly working with them.

Besides your supervisor, there are also committee members with whom you may need to interact at times. Networking is important as you might need to take help from other colleagues, juniors or seniors for your PhD work or for collaborating to publish a paper together.

So although it is your PhD - that of an individual, it is never achieved without the involvement of a lot of different people and that is why people skills are necessary- knowing how to work and what works best with them.

4. (Mis)Using the freedom

The nicest part of a PhD is the freedom. The worst part is the freedom. Understand this! You have to be wise with how you use your time and make the most of the opportunity to study and research something you’re passionate about. A PhD student who understands this difference separates himself/herself from the rest automatically!

P.S: 

1. There are days when you don't understand something or you don't get desired results in this journey. Similarly, there are days when you might get scolded for no fault of yours. All these things are frustrating but if you were to look at it, these things happen in almost any career. 

2. Ph.D is an endurance test. So, even with all these aspects, enjoying the doctorate journey is what matters the most. It will have its share of ups and downs. How you handle them will determine whether you succeed or fail in your quest.

9 Things Every Girl Should Know Early On In Life!

1. About taxes, savings, and being independent
2. Basic cooking
3. How to take one’s mental health seriously
4. Spare some ME time!
5. Never change for someone until you no longer recognize yourself
6. Take care of your skin since a young age, your skin will thank you later!
7. Never settle just because you are a certain age..
8. Know the difference between a man who flatters you, compliments you and the man who spends money on you, who invests in you. Know the difference between a man who views you as a property and a man who views you properly, a man who lusts after you and a man who loves you, be with a man who believes you are a gift to him!
9. Accept yourself, the way you are. Love yourself, unapologetically!

Bollywood Song That Talks Of Self-Respect & Self-Love To Me!

“Kinaare” from QUEEN movie.

This song embodies the theme of the movie, independence and self identity; It compares its quest to the search of shores for someone who is drowning mid sea. It crescendos perfectly in the 5th para with the realization that —

“Khud hi To hain hum… Kinaare (We ourselves are our, Shores)”.

Even if all the boatmen leave us,

Then, we will become oars ourselves,

and cross (the ocean) on our own..

Why others, we’ll ask ourselves,

The paths to follow,

Somewhere here in the waves,

We will find… (Shores)

Self-sufficiency gives one the freedom to discover one's true self and attain true independence. To be happy in one’s own company is the greatest nirvana attained!

By beginning to create boundaries for yourself - it that show others that you have self-respect. Release people from your life who don't honor your boundaries. Have confidence in yourself and live with grace, honor, and dignity!

Two Best Reasons To Wake Up Early!

1. Better concentration & enhanced productivity: Brains tend to be most alert in the morning. Starting your day early improves your concentration. In addition to being able to focus on goals and task lists without being interrupted by family members or coworkers, getting up early means that by the time you get to work or school, you’ve had (EXTRA) hours to properly acclimate yourself to the day.

2. You have more time on your hands! So, the way we rush for everything is insane! We rush to jump buses, trains, rush to work, rush breakfast. It is always a rat race. Waking up early makes it very easy to plan your life. I mean, while the world is rushing to make breakfast, you are already done with that and at a much more relaxed pace too. You’ll be more alert during peak hours, as a result, you’ll get more done!

Book Review #134 : Dented & Painted

The anthology “Dented & Painted” comprises of 23 remarkable short stories. The cover of the collection is beautiful and attractive. The collection is penned down by author Tirupathi Khemka. This book is a must read for all humans due to the depleting mentality of our society. Harsh reality is portrayed that shows you the mirror unto society. 

Dented & Painted is appalling in its tone and subject. The stories begin with the opening lines in italics which store in them the essence of the whole story and ends with question marks that leave your mind ticking. These life changing stories shake the insides of your soul. It deals with some of the highly sensitive issues prevailing in our society at large. Each story is instilled with sheer pain, misery & struggle. The complexities of women’s life, how they are tortured, subdued, and tormented, and how they fight back are narrated by the author. The language is bold and comprehensive. On the whole, the collection is nicely compiled and stories are engrossing and have a power that grips you from within. As you continue reading these stories, you develop a strong sense of connection with the theme of feminism. The author has poured his heart into these stories. 

‘Male chauvinist pigs’ are well-exposed. The mind-blowing stories are an eye-opener and make you question so many things. The narrative is quite strong and details are well written. Sometimes the pace gets fast, though the emotions are well maintained. True reality is pictured which pinches you somewhere, depicting the cruelty of patriarchal society in which we continue to live. The stories expose a wide horizon of themes from prostitution to rapes, women as victims to women as fighters, the sufferings of women to struggles of women, women as creators to the women as destructors, the divine to the not so divine women, and many more. I can't get a few stories out of my mind; they were very impactful. I felt proud of a few ladies, yet felt sad for some. 

Dented & Painted is a complete page turner. It leaves your eyes moist with tears and you feel how crippled you have become by letting others dominate you and decide things for you. The author has made very interesting and keen observations before penning down each one of these wonderful pieces of writing. Kudos to him for his brilliant attempt! He proved the power of pen and the wonders that it can do. 

Ratings: 4.5/5

Book Review #133 : Good Vibes, Good Life

Want to better yourself? This book will help you get there!

Firstly, I was taken aback by the simple but truly pleasing design and aesthetics of the book - it looks so beautiful sitting on my study desk!

Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King is a Self Help book in which the author talks about very important things like self-love, humility, failure, meditation, empowering thoughts and living a greater life. There are so many references to other books and scientific principles which makes me believe that all the things which are being talked about are well researched. There are so many things in this book which a person might already know but has perhaps forgotten about. There are numerous life lessons which have the potential to change a person's life.

The book is primarily based on the Law of Vibration which affects our entire being. When paid attention to and used for good, it helps a person to achieve success, peace and happiness. I really liked the fact that so many other aspects of life such as fear, anxiety and negativity in general are being dealt with in the book and practical solutions are being provided to deal with them. I also liked the fact that the author has not belittled the impact of these things but has rather discussed the situations which he faced in his life and how he dealt with them. Life is not painted as picture perfect heavenly ride but numerous solutions are provided to deal with difficult situations which makes this book a helpful read.

I would suggest you to read this book at a slow pace so that you can introspect and think through the solutions provided in this book to make your life better. It is a book that guides you while being packed with honest and insightful perspectives.

I have learnt that self-love is not just a concept but rather an art to be mastered. I think that the interpretation of self-love can often become confused with being selfish or inconsiderate. However, it is rather an embodiment of ‘empowerment and liberation’; something which I in fact once found difficult to comprehend and understand. By Vex King splitting the book into seven parts, he allows the reader to clearly follow the journey to finding their purpose, practicing self-love beautifully and achieving ultimate happiness. By breaking the path into stages, one is able to fully explore and focus on different aspects of their life to wholly develop as a person.

One thing which really struck is me how we are the creator of our own lives. We hold the power. What we want we can have if we set the right intention and act. Anything that happens in our life (not only ourselves but our sphere of influence, experiences and painful moments) are a result of our own emotions, thoughts and actions. “So if you are thinking the same thoughts and you know that your thoughts create your reality- then same thoughts lead to the same choices, the same choices lead to the same behaviours, the same behaviours create the same experiences, the same experiences produce the same feelings and the same feelings drive the very same thoughts.” It becomes an endless cycle. Thus, to gain control of our thoughts we must be able to understand our emotions and be able to process them so that we can control our reactions. Only then can we transform them so they have a positively impact.

I would like to say that King’s meticulous, considered structure, easy to read yet complex and inspiring content and most importantly his kindness, genuineness, authenticity and passion not only make ‘Good Vibes Good Life’ an resonant book to remember but also portrays a beautiful journey to one leading a life of purpose, possibility and positivity.

Verdict: Amazing from start to finish. This is a book that everyone can relate to and is a brilliant guide to raising your vibration and self-love. There's no hidden meaning. Vex has literally laid everything out for you. This book has definitely helped me a lot. The self-growth I intend to achieve is something I owe to myself. Living a life, I truly love is the journey that excites me!

Overall, a 'CANNOT put down' book! 😊

Ratings: 5/5

Book Review #130 : Irrationally Passionate

Publisher : HarperBusiness

Author : Jason Kothari

Genre :  Non-fiction

Price : Hardcover Rs 523/-

Pages : 264

Irrationally Passionate is about the story of an entrepreneur who has successfully revived the fortune of quite a few distressed companies. Jason talks in detail about his turnaround from rebel to entrepreneur! If you like reading stories of powerful individuals and what they did, how they did and importantly, how they turned around things even when not everything was in their favour, you should definitely read this one.

Irrationally Passionate reveals the inside story of how a rebel, train-wreck kid transformed himself into a successful young entrepreneur and business leader who became one of the top ten paid executives in India while only in his 30s. Jason’s inspiring journey has something for everyone, right from students to entrepreneurs to corporate CEOs to even parents of students and entrepreneurs.

Irrationally Passionate is written in lucid language. You don't need a dictionary by your side! The language used is a fine balance between rich and simple sentences. I relished reading the novel. It was hard for me to believe that it’s Jason’s first novel. He writes very elegantly and effortlessly! The advice in the book seems to come from a friend directly conveying his life experiences to you!

Jason's fighting spirit and determination that reflects in his story makes the reader respect him.  Irrationally Passionate is a highly personal book which shares his turnaround story and learning. It is super interesting from page 1. A self-made entrepreneur, who had enormous courage in difficult situations, great fighting spirit and who took risks – his story needed to be told. The sharp and dynamic leadership qualities of Jason make for a balanced entrepreneur. Even in tough times, he maintains his humility and sense of humor. This book is definitely a very engrossing read with generous sprinkling of wisdom.

Highly recommended book for all those who love motivational books that can really open your eyes and provide you with rich insights. To conclude, I think the book is extremely inspiring, hard hitting, thought provoking and full of content. It is a learning experience; it is a precious book which can be read again and again! Full of actual real-life lessons, this book is a must-read for young readers and entrepreneurs to drive clarity and vision in their thinking. Jason inspires you to dream big and keep working for it! 

VERDICT: Buy this book. Read it. And imbibe it within yourself to give a new direction to your life! This book is a gem. It is a must read for entrepreneurs. 

Ratings: 5/5

P.S: This review is a part of the biggest "Book Review Program" "Indian Bloggers". Participate now to get free books!

Book Review #127 : Dream Sutra

I've always been curious about the implications and meaning of the dreams that we have. Dream Sutra gives an insight into this realm. You can either read it simply as a fascinating and entertaining story of people who have had amazing experiences and what they meant, or, read it like me to gain a deeper understanding of dreams and how they relate to our lives spiritually and the messages they carry for us. 

Everyone dreams. We feel joy, fear, anger, pain and every other conceivable emotion in our dreams...and it all feels so real in the dream state. I have always been fascinated by the ability of the mind to conjure up these amazing worlds where everything is possible - You can fly, you can be superhuman. 

The parallel dream world is a powerful place -- a place where you can exhaust your karma, you can help and be healed. There is so much that we dismiss as too fantastic to be true because it doesn't fit into the ideas that we have classified as "believable", yet every day we 'feel', 'dream', 'experience' things that fall out of this rigid classification, that make us sit up and question the very foundation of our understanding of this world, of other worlds, of our inner world.

The Dream Sutra is an inspiring book that takes us through the nuances of several dreams and their relevance. Dream Sutra is brilliant because it redefines the boundaries of what is believable! A great read. 

What I must say is the readers must read the other two books of the author to better understand this one. Although it doesn't mean you will miss concept if you start this first except that you will see multiple references to other two.

This is not a coffee table read. The book does need some amount of hunger to know the unexplained science. Author has multiple instances to share and decode dreams based on his understanding.

Book is simple and easy to understand with plenty of examples with reference to people. I am a person who believes in science and I keep questioning for scientific evidence. But this book fails to give 100% scientific explanation. 

This book made me realise that dreams can also carry messages from the beyond. From near and dear departed souls or even the universe. Dreams could be visions or warnings of some event. Reading about so many people’s dream experiences make you wonder if dreams could possibly carry some hidden message.

Dream Sutra is not just a book about dream-state experiences but also a book that highlights the ability of spiritually evolved entities to use the dream state to evolve other beings. It talks about the oneness of the universe, about the divinity that binds us all while highlighting the wondrous experiences where people have been healed in dreams, received messages and shown dimensions that the naked eye cannot see. It's a very enlightening read. I would urge readers to write in with dreams which have puzzled them ...maybe there’s a meaning hidden in them!

Ratings : 4.5/5

P.S : This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

Book Review #126 : Aatma Sutra: Unveiling the Soul

After reading Karma Sutra by the same author, I was curious and excited to read the second book. All I can say is that it exceeded my expectations. 

Easy to read book with practical experiences are mentioned. A book that makes you accept and understand that all of us have a soul within us. This aatma is super powerful. You are lead through this book into a journey of realising and recognising your aatma and its power. It can guide you. Answer your questions. Help you and heal you. 

Rarely are sequels as good as their predecessor (Karma Sutra), but Aatma Sutra is one such example! Much like the first book, it is jam packed with spiritual concepts and aided by fascinating anecdotes.

Reading the book, understanding the concepts the writer has put through with examples, surely got me to start empathising, accepting gracefully everything destiny throws at us and above all our role play in this physical body.

VERDICT : The book is your journey on the road to self-love and acceptance. This book shocks, delights and liberates the reader! It certainly has helped broaden my perception. Recommended!

Ratings : 4.5/5

P.S : This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

Book Review #125 : Karma Sutra: (Cracking the Karmic Code)

Karma Sutra gives the clearest explanation of the term 'Karma'. It is a book that explains how your actions and deeds causes good and bad fortune. This book has explained various concepts relevant to our daily lives in a simplified manner. If you are too inquisitive about life and its philosophies, read this! A very informative piece with paintings that can probably be a result for a change in our ways of perceiving, thinking, evolving and constant learning. 

The author has divided this book into six sections, where he talks about the Karma in general in the first section, and the next three sections are focused on how we become indebted to what we receive (from parents, teachers, five elements, to animal and plant kingdoms etc). The next section shows us via worksheets how we can balance Karma by not taking the ownership or increase our positive karma in comparison to our negative karma or by just being plain and nice. The next two sections in itself can form a separate book where the author deals with the different attitudes by which we act, The Kleshas, the five sheaths, the three Gunas and so on. Some sections require multiple readings to understand as the concepts are profound.

Reading Karma Sutra by Hingori has been a soul stirring experience for me. It is a book explaining profound concepts, but in such a simple fashion, that even a layman, stepping into the field of spiritualism shall be engulfed in its words of wisdom! 

VERDICT : One of the finest self improvement books I have ever read! It does not seem to bounce over the head. This book will change the way you think and live. Worth reading if you are into spirituality!

Ratings : 4/5

P.S : This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

Book Review #123 : 'Til Health Do Us Part

In this well-crafted memoir, author Rooney chronicles her journey towards holistic wellness as she healed from a host of debilitating diseases and her family falling apart.

She introduces readers to her past through flashbacks—physical and sexual abuse as a child, her joyful marriage disintegrating as her husband’s career progressed, and dozens of doctors piling on diagnoses and medications. In 2010, Rooney’s life took a life-altering turn when she moved to Hawaii and met Xavier, a shrewd, composed Eastern healer who guided her towards health with constant probing. Xavier’s enduring patience with her fuels her sense of humor which allows her to express her true feelings. With his help, she thrived and separated herself from the toxic environment of her family, established a healthy diet, and learned to nurture herself. But the biggest hurdle was weaning herself from the heavy medications she had become dependent on for years. As she made monumental strides to improve physically, she also engaged in the grueling emotional work of overcoming the pattern of self-destruction rooted in an inability to love herself. 

The author takes you through her personal transformation, kicking & screaming, as she experiences her awakening realizing that her choices are creating her reality. This book is a soul’s journey, a spiritual story, told by a woman as she discovers that the body, mind & breath are all connected. She comes to realize that her emotional state of consciousness is creating her physical challenges. Xavier helps her to connect with that inner voice which becomes the pivotal trigger that propels her forward with confidence in knowing she has established her connection to her essence. 

Rooney’s writing style is genuine and engaging; short chapters keep the pace lively. The chapters usually ended with a statement that enticed me to keep reading. The narrative weaves seamlessly between what is she experiences in Hawaii, her childhood and young adult years, and the years during which her diseases progress. Not even a physician can fix a person if they're not willing to participate in their own healing. She captures Xavier’s advice in memorable stories and phrases, like his observation that in healing, “there’s a point…where you stop swimming away from something and begin to swim towards something.”

Julie’s honest reflection & relationship with her emotional state of mind throughout the process of healing radiated with so much honesty. You can feel her sorrow when she realizes that she needs to listen to & depend on her own intuitive voice in order to go forward & be truly healthy and happy. I'm inspired and uplifted, and the writing, injected with humor and passion, makes this book worth sharing with anyone I know! Her total healing is raw and remarkable. Quite the courageous lady. 

Verdict : An astonishing yet plausible story of recovery told with authenticity and a healthy dose of humor. Would recommend this book to anyone really wanting to understand what true health is all about.

Rating : 5/5

P.S : This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

Book Review #118 : How I survive: Vizmom

How I survive: Vizmom is a common-sense guide to managing everyday stress. As I started reading the book, I realized that the author had put a lot of thought into her own life experiences. 

The cover is very mesmerizing to look at. It has a philosophical and soothing feeling to it, which suits the genre of the book perfectly.

The anecdotes and stories from which the lessons are drawn are very inspiring. The language is very simple to understand. It is written with a first person narrative which makes it easy for the readers to connect.

The basic ideology behind this book is to ensure that none of the working women feel that she has been left alone or she has to carry all the burden over her shoulder.  The book is a real interesting read since each of the 77 chapters does not stretch beyond 3 pages. The content is given in short and crisp manner which makes it really appealing.

The book is a non fiction account of a working mother who is a doctor and a responsible mother. It outlines various effective measures for issues faced by working mothers who constantly juggle their life between home and workplace. A lot of patience, compromise and sensible thinking are required to cope with the stress that comes along with this role.

The chapters highlight the power of positivity, gratitude, creativity, forgiveness, humility, meditation and various aspects which are essential for a stress free and peaceful life. Dr Vidhu Bhatnagar successfully draws parallels between the positive and negative outlook towards life and how the former can aid in turning every odd in your favour!

According to the author, the key to mental happiness is having a healthy response to stress and not avoiding it. The arguments presented are lightweight and reasonable at the same time. 

However, the book does come with certain drawbacks. There are several grammatical errors and that might make the otherwise simple dialogues ambiguous. Even the title is incorrectly punctuated.

Verdict — Overall, this book is more than just being a self-help book. It has the calibre to enable the readers to become stronger- emotionally and spiritually. A light read, indeed! A must read for all parents.

Rating – 3.8 / 5

I Love You — Now Change Yourself For Me

What happens when you try and change the person you love? They love you back a little less? No, well that doesn’t happen directly. Essentially, the person you claim to love, starts loving himself/herself lesser. And I strongly believe, you cannot serve from an empty vessel. If they don’t love themselves enough, they cannot love you enough, as well.

When you change the way they look or dress, or for that matter take away who they are- by not being accepting of their passion, they no longer remain the person you fell in the first place for. Some people change others for the need of everything being a “certain way” they want things to be.

You shouldn’t feel pressured to drop all of your interests. That is not a sign of a healthy relationship. If you have a strong sense of how you like to look, then by all means, don’t change. If you're happy with how you dress, and it feels like an honest reflection of your personality and your wardrobe makes you feel in Beast Mode every day, then definitely don't let them tell you to change your appearance to suit their preferences. But if you end up changing how you dress, in a way that feels negative, you will hate yourself for it, if not immediately, but surely later.

This is a conscious rethink we need to develop our minds into, that changing someone unless it is a really bad habit - that affects their health, is not cool. This too should not be a command/demand, but a healthy request.

Real love is not asking someone to change himself/herself for you. I believe people change, and sometimes, people change for people, sadly. Which sucks. We humans, have this amazingly illusional habit of “fixing” others. The thinking here is if he/she loved you enough, they would perhaps change. It is intoxicating. Trying to change your partner interferes with your ability to practice forgiveness. When you try to change them, you are always looking for flaws.

You’ll be inclined to bend on many things that are a part of your personality, if you really, really love the person — but , but, it’s a bad idea to do so, all the time.

Don’t resort to fixing or changing someone. That will only create resistance in relationships. Let love change you for better, not your loved one. And even when required, compromises and adjustments shouldn’t just be one ended. Remember, there is nothing wrong with you and there is nothing you are doing wrong. You are worthy of feeling peace and being accepted just the way you are. You are enough exactly as you are.

Nothing you say, nothing you do and nothing you wish for is going to motivate another person to make long-term change if they do not internalize the need for it. You should change, not because you’re being asked or because someone else thinks it’s good for the relationship, but because you, inside yourself, wish to be different.

Love someone where they are, not where you want them to be. It is very basic to show respect for the other person’s autonomy. Relationships are based on compromise because, despite rom-com fantasies, there is no such thing as a “perfect fit” between people. There are some “almost-there” fits and “pretty close” fits, but you’re never going to find someone who just so happens to conform exactly to the life you’ve established as a single person.

You should never let yourself believe things like, “If only I were different, this person would love me more.” That line of thinking is destructive; your partner should love you for your core self , your soul and your essence.

Love is not a power play, not roles and dynamics and shoes you must fill. You don’t need to become something better just to have someone’s affection, even if the other person’s intentions are pure. If the changes are insignificant or reasonable, it is acceptable. But you can’t make someone change for your reasons, or even the right reasons—an individual changes because he or she wants to. For themselves. Not for you.

All in all, it’s a wonderful thing to learn from a lover. If they can introduce you to new ideas, concepts, and experiences, your relationship will be all the richer. But don’t let it take over and influence what you have been, before they even entered your life. Don’t betray who you are. You need to be open to small changes for one another, but you cannot have a personality transplant, all of a sudden.

Imperfect, raw, and real. Proud being that way.

Book Review #115 : IKIGAI

I recently completed reading a very inspiring book — IKIGAI — The Japanese Secret to a Long Happy Life. The book is authored by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. Today, I am going to talk about my learning from the book. The book touches the various aspects of life which can help us achieve a long happy life. It is based on ancient, well practised Japanese technique called — IKIGAI.

If you google the word, you will get various meanings like : A reason for being, encompassing joy, a sense of purpose and meaning and a feeling of well-being, Or, The word derives from iki, meaning life and kai, meaning the realisation of hopes and expectations. But the one I liked the most is — “A reason to jump out of bed each morning!” This book helps you deep dive into discovering the meaning of your life. It is quite evident that the authors stress more on discovering the meaning of life rather than creating one for you! If you have discovered the meaning of your life, you need to completely immerse into the experience without being distracted by the surroundings and you attain the flow. The book also talks about some very interesting techniques to practice which can help you achieve the flow.

Wabi Sabi Technique:

The book concludes after introducing to another Japanese Technique called — Wabi-Sabi. This techniques talks about finding beauty in imperfect, incomplete things. Here flawed is preferred over perfection. Japanese believe that only imperfect, incomplete and ephemeral things are beautiful because they resemble the nature.

Negatives:

What I found a missed opportunity was the fact that the writers didn’t include a resource list in the book with references. Many of their statements can be backed up with books and studies. I think the addition of sources would have made their message even stronger.

Also, it was sometimes difficult to determine whether the book was about how to get old healthily instead of finding your ikigai. I was imagining sometimes,  is this a book about finding your inner happiness or about healthy aging?

Verdict:

To conclude, I think the book is extremely inspiring and full of content. I could attain my flow while reading it. It is a nice, entertaining book that reads very easily and quickly and can certainly motivate you to live healthier. I wouldn’t go so far by saying that this book will help you to find your own ikigai. This is something very personal and this can be something very big or something very small. This book is not really about that. However, it gives you an idea of how it feels once you’ve found it and explains why it’s so healthy. I can also recommend this book if you’re looking for great insights and inspiration to live healthier and more positive. A great self help book.

Rating: 4/5

P.S: The book was a precious birthday gift.