My Advice To Indian Teenage Girls!

I wish I knew some of these things in my teens or early twenties, my life would have been completely different. It takes a great deal of understanding to assimilate this post. I hope it helps!

1. Don't be like men. You are different. You are unique. You are a female and there is a difference. What do you do when you see pigs lying in the gutter? Will you go lie with them or you clean the place and make it habitable for the rest of you? Trying to imitate men in the name of equality is not a way to be.

2. If you want to, imitate good men, men that are a good mix of masculine and feminine, men that you want to be the father of your kids. Would you be proud of a father who drinks, smokes, is always concerned about his looks, men who belittle other men, is critical of everything and is financially irresponsible or too much into money, career, competition etc. Don't be like men, be a woman which men want to be like, who is a safe place for men to come to when they are done fighting their battles, women whom even men look up to.

3. Ladies, learn to distinguish between different kinds of attention. You don't want to be someone's past time, you should be someone people show reverence for. When they see you, they are filled with love and respect. They want their daughters to be like you. They want to have you not just in their beds but in their homes, in their hearts, in their life forever. 

4. As a woman, do not pull others down on your way up. When you reach to the top, give your hand to pull other women up. A community of empowered women is much needed to raise the collective consciousness of the society as a whole. Every time you belittle a woman, you expose an insecure part of yourself, learn to work on it.

5. A major reason for attracting toxic partners and tolerate shit is your deep seated insecurities. Your self worth should not depend on how beautiful and successful you are, how many men find you beautiful, how popular you are. Just your existence is worth a million bucks, you don't need to be “something” to be worthy of love and respect. Do not tolerate disrespect, abuse, toxicity to compensate for your imagined shortcomings.

6. Acknowledge the quiet guy sitting in the corner who you think is boring and under confident. He could be the one for you, give him a chance. Try to communicate with all kinds of people, know them, first impression is often the wrong impression.

7. Shed all the concepts that the society taught you. Unlearn. One of which is a concept of “independence”. No one is completely independent, we are all inter-dependent on each other. Having an income is great but don't try to do anything and everything all by yourself, it is exhausting, ask for help whenever you need. Feeling unsafe? Ask your brother to drop you, want to lift an heavy object? Ask your husband, men opening doors for you? Appreciate. Asking for help will not take away your independence. Similarly, don't misuse your financial independence as an excuse to feel superior, being rebellious, immature and outspoken. Learn to use your intuition and wisdom in every situation. Learn balance of everything!

8. Don't tolerate mediocre things in life. Recognize the divinity within you. It has nothing to with size, color of your skin, clothes you wear, feminine is innate to our existence, our bodies are perfect ground for seeds of femininity to sprout, when in tune with our divinity, we are more at peace, more patient, more grounded, sensual, full of love, compassion, empathy. People can't help getting drawn towards us. No, it is not submission, not helplessness, not cowardice rather opposite, it is empowering, it is liberating, it is fearless way of living.

9. When in self doubt, look into the mirror and for once just once try to look beyond the physical, beyond your thin hairs and thick nose, beyond your saggy skin and bat wings, beyond your love handles and thunder thighs. Beyond the superficial color your skin, you are a divine being radiating colorful lights, encompassing the entire universe within you. You are just that, nothing less. See it, embrace it. Be it. 

Love. 

Two Best Reasons To Wake Up Early!

1. Better concentration & enhanced productivity: Brains tend to be most alert in the morning. Starting your day early improves your concentration. In addition to being able to focus on goals and task lists without being interrupted by family members or coworkers, getting up early means that by the time you get to work or school, you’ve had (EXTRA) hours to properly acclimate yourself to the day.

2. You have more time on your hands! So, the way we rush for everything is insane! We rush to jump buses, trains, rush to work, rush breakfast. It is always a rat race. Waking up early makes it very easy to plan your life. I mean, while the world is rushing to make breakfast, you are already done with that and at a much more relaxed pace too. You’ll be more alert during peak hours, as a result, you’ll get more done!

Why I Don't Wear Makeup Anymore!

Well, up until 2018, I used to love wearing makeup. But, that was a way of concealing my acne marks & a curiosity to try new makeup that my favorite influencer then promoted! Lol.

Mid 2018, I started taking care of my skin! Skin is your body's largest organ. It serves as a protective barrier between your insides and the rest of the world. I learnt, proper skin care is vital. It's about staying healthy. Taking care of your skin is not something you do ‘now and then’, but on a daily basis! How your skin will look in ten or twenty years, depends on the way you care for it now.

Skin is constantly growing and changing, so you have to remain vigilant in caring for it. Keep your skin hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day and try maintaining a balanced diet. Always make sure to use sunblock if you're going to spend time outside. Once your skin is crystal clear, you’ll realize you no longer need more than maybe - a mascara and a lipstick. That’s all I use NOW. 

Makeup can only enhance your appearance. But good skin care can make you feel good even from within. Plus, when I don’t have a zillion step makeup routine, it takes me less time to get ready for work in the mornings. Also, you can’t rinse your face so often – in summer, in the sun, because of the heat the skin needs to breathe more and with makeup it can’t. You can’t rub your eyes- or else you know - Panda eyes!

Even for my wedding, I was adamant that I wanted to look like me — not some idealized version of myself that I’d be unable to maintain indefinitely. My partner was not marrying some “new and improved,” dyed, painted, or slimmer version of me, after all. I did wear makeup, but just as much as I would still look & feel like myself. 

While I do feel more polished wearing some cosmetic covering, I also see the potential within myself of not being able to face the world with my bare face. I remember days when I worked back then - I would follow each step from primer to lipstick & then makeup fixer, just to hide my acne scars. I didn’t want to become dependent on makeup. I don’t ever want to feel naked or unattractive without it.

I think that makeup can be a tool of misogyny. When it is not used from a perspective of self-love, makeup can breed bouts of self-hatred in women — or at least dissatisfaction. Makeup made me look for my face’s flaws rather than accepting my face as it is. I started to wonder what else / which products I need to improve or cover up with this or that color. Are my lips well enough defined? Do my cheeks have the right hue? Is my complexion all right?

We tell women that they’re beautiful and that they should love themselves. We tell little girls to have self-confidence and that they can be anything they want to be. But then, and often with the same breath, we suggest they can be beautiful (or confident) only when they are not quite themselves. We sell women (both young and old) products to “fix” or “improve” their appearance — wrinkle removers, concealers, eyelash enhancers, and other colorful cover-ups. We do. 

My final wish is - our society views makeup as an optional accessory as opposed to the required response to any perceived deficiency. I am a woman capable of self-confidence and self-love, and I no longer allow my face to feel like a façade.

4 Super Useful Things I Suggest You Do - That Need 30 Seconds Or Less!

There are so many things that need 30 seconds or even less. Here are a few, I would suggest! :)

1. Boost Your Confidence and Reduce Stress (POWER POSE!): Find a quiet place. Stand up straight and lift your chin. Keep a straight posture and a superhero stance. This releases confidence-boosting testosterone instantly! You can try doing this prior to an interview or public speech. Or it can simple be used to help with stress!

2. Micro-meditate: Take that tiny bit of time, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to build mindfulness in this digital age. This helps in clearing your head, especially when you’re in the middle of the day & feeling anxious.

3. Stretch: 30 seconds is pretty much the perfect amount of time to hold a stretch! It is relaxing, soothing and makes you flexible!

4. Pay your online bill(s): It only takes a few seconds to fill up your card details and pay up. It decreases your debt/pending payments. It's great adulting! ;)

Give Her A Break! #HappyMothersDay

When I say that I need a break, I'm not talking about wanting a vacation or a treat as a reward for doing my job. Needing a break doesn't mean that I'm seeking a respite from my responsibilities or that I want to put my feet up. It means that I need a moment to feel like a human being in the midst of a relentless life where I don't belong to myself anymore; where I give my love and energy away, every moment of my existence, and can't figure out how to keep any for myself. I just need a few minutes to not be on edge, working my nerves and spirits raw for the safety and happiness and health of my kids. I just need a moment to remember who I am, to not feel worried and harried and invisible. I need a second to catch my breath, to make my own choices, to try to love myself, for a moment. My breaks might allow me to think my own thoughts for a few moments.

- A Mother

Motherhood is challenging. We love you, Moms. We do. And, thank you. For EVERYTHING. #HappyMothersDay

Book Review #120 : Dare Eat That

Title - Dare Eat That

Author - Divya Anand

Genre - Non-Fiction

Publisher - Penguin Random House India

ISBN - 978-0-143-44466-4

The cover page and content of this book are unique. A couple Divya & Vivek take us through a surreal journey of the food chain where Vivek has relished eating most of the living things which are classified under :

Invertebrates which is sub classified into Mollusc, Echinoderms, Coelenterates and Arthropods and Vertebrates which is sub classified into Pisces, Amphibians, Reptiles, Birds and Mammals.

Each chapter's title is interesting and intriguing in its own way. The experience was classified into Taste and Fear Factor which give you a fair idea as to where those food items stand at. The book has pictorial representation - both in B&W and color. It has also included few recipes at the end of the chapter.

The book has covered the couple's journey in Americas, India, U.K, Luxembourg, Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, Singapore and Australia presenting us with different cuisines and delicacies from around the world. This book is a genuine journal of wanderlust - through the lens of a foodie. It is a good collection of the world's most daring dishes. The narrative is extremely refreshing with easy to read language.

You may go ewwwww while reading about some of them, it has stuff you never in your wildest dreams would've thought anybody ever eats! The book has got generous amounts of humour, some very Masterchef like descriptions and observations and also makes you look at travel from a very interesting POV.

If you like travel OR food OR humour then you will love this book. The book while being interesting and funny is educative without being in your face.

Verdict : If you are a foodie and a globetrotter and is always in the lookout for something adventurous, unique and strange, do not miss reading this book. It is a quintessential read as it gives you a fair idea as to what to look out for in the above mentioned places. But keep in mind that it definitely is an adventure and it isn't for those with a faint heart or a weak stomach!

Rating : 4/5

Book Review #116 : Surviving Stress

Title	Surviving Stress: Rediscover the Awesome You!
Author	Vidhu Bhatnagar
Publisher	Educreation Publishing, 2017
Length	251 pages
ISBN	9781545708200
Subjects	Self-Help

”Surviving Stress and Rediscover The Awesome You!" Is a book that helps you learn to deal with stress constructively. Stress in everyday life is a killer in itself and when we become parents, the stress multiplies. The first section in this book deals with my ways of surviving stress, balancing between work, patients, kids and home with patience and acceptance. 

This book is divided into two sections - the first section deals with the lessons regarding stress management and the second is devoted to learning about the societal conditioning and rediscovering our awesomeness. 

Vidhu explains how societal conditioning restricts our growth; how we need to identify our bonds so as to free ourselves and become our awesome self. Identifying the clutches of conditioning and then disentangling from them is the second part in this book. 

“Surviving Stress” is a sincere attempt by Dr Vidhu Bhatnagar to throw light on the delicate and hidden threads that hold the life together. It is these threads that need to be cherished and nourished so that they become stronger with each passing day. Deriving learnings from her own experiences, the author explores the mesh that we build around us and make our life more complicated. The book aims to offer a more simplified and more realistic approach to understand the complexities of life. 

The book is extremely well written. The language is simple, yet riveting. The editing is superb. The book is divided into several short chapters which make it super easy to read and help us retrospect on one aspect of our life that hampers our ability to live happily. This book is simple and practical. Some stories urge us to reflect on our flaws and accept them. The title of the book is catchy and apt. The cover of the book, however, fails to catch attention because it is very simple. 

The book is interspersed with wonderful quotes. The tips offered are not unique, really. They are common enough to have been tried and tested. So the author is sharing useful information, without being preachy. Truly inspiring. If are struggling with stress, this book could be your ultimate saviour. 

Rating - 4/5 

About the author : 

Dr. Vidhu Bhatnagar completed her graduation in 1999 from AFMC, Pune and has been practicing as a full time professional, since then. She proceeded to commence her post-graduation in Anesthesiology in Dec 2003. She was blessed with her first born in August 2006 and the second born in Jun 2009. She commenced her super specialization in NeuroAnesthesiology in Jan 2011 and successfully completed the same in Dec 2013. She is presently working in a tertiary care hospital as an Associate Professor and Neuroanesthesiologist. The stress of pursuing higher education, handling relationships and managing kids was overpowering and it took some time for her to realize the ways and means to handle everything optimally. She became an ardent follower of alternate healing practices including Reiki and Pranic Healing during this journey. She also is a Tarot card reader and Oracle Card reader and paints 'Mandalas' for relaxation.

Book Review #115 : IKIGAI

I recently completed reading a very inspiring book — IKIGAI — The Japanese Secret to a Long Happy Life. The book is authored by Hector Garcia and Francesc Miralles. Today, I am going to talk about my learning from the book. The book touches the various aspects of life which can help us achieve a long happy life. It is based on ancient, well practised Japanese technique called — IKIGAI.

If you google the word, you will get various meanings like : A reason for being, encompassing joy, a sense of purpose and meaning and a feeling of well-being, Or, The word derives from iki, meaning life and kai, meaning the realisation of hopes and expectations. But the one I liked the most is — “A reason to jump out of bed each morning!” This book helps you deep dive into discovering the meaning of your life. It is quite evident that the authors stress more on discovering the meaning of life rather than creating one for you! If you have discovered the meaning of your life, you need to completely immerse into the experience without being distracted by the surroundings and you attain the flow. The book also talks about some very interesting techniques to practice which can help you achieve the flow.

Wabi Sabi Technique:

The book concludes after introducing to another Japanese Technique called — Wabi-Sabi. This techniques talks about finding beauty in imperfect, incomplete things. Here flawed is preferred over perfection. Japanese believe that only imperfect, incomplete and ephemeral things are beautiful because they resemble the nature.

Negatives:

What I found a missed opportunity was the fact that the writers didn’t include a resource list in the book with references. Many of their statements can be backed up with books and studies. I think the addition of sources would have made their message even stronger.

Also, it was sometimes difficult to determine whether the book was about how to get old healthily instead of finding your ikigai. I was imagining sometimes,  is this a book about finding your inner happiness or about healthy aging?

Verdict:

To conclude, I think the book is extremely inspiring and full of content. I could attain my flow while reading it. It is a nice, entertaining book that reads very easily and quickly and can certainly motivate you to live healthier. I wouldn’t go so far by saying that this book will help you to find your own ikigai. This is something very personal and this can be something very big or something very small. This book is not really about that. However, it gives you an idea of how it feels once you’ve found it and explains why it’s so healthy. I can also recommend this book if you’re looking for great insights and inspiration to live healthier and more positive. A great self help book.

Rating: 4/5

P.S: The book was a precious birthday gift.

Top 15, 2018 Life Lessons

Top 15, 2018 Life Lessons: 

Since 2018 is coming to a close, I thought I would reflect on some of the lessons I learned this year. What a year! Today, I’d like to recap and share my biggest life lessons of 2018. It’s been the best year so far but that doesn’t mean everything was going my way. Read to know more... :)

1. Fall madly in love with yourself. "I am enough". 

2. Have unwavering faith; things will fall into place.

3. Never take life for granted.

4. Be more observing.

5. It’s okay to dream big.

6. Only when you move away from your comfort zone and cocooned life, you discover other facets to yourself.

7. Listen to the little encouraging inner voice more than the self doubt demon who plagues you. 

8. Don’t be scared if you fall off the wagon.

9. Dignity lies in getting a sense of the ending and letting go what’s not meant for you, gracefully.

10. Not everything you see on social media is real or goals.

11. Worry about your craft. Not the algorithm.

12. Genuine love is a privilege. Do whatever it takes to nourish it, so it lasts forever. 

13. Enjoy and be in love with the “process” of something not just the end result. Be in love with the fight too, not just the victory. Be obsessed with improvement.

14. Our proudest achievements come in the face of the greatest adversity.

15. Thoughts become things.

WHY ADULTING SUCKS!!

As a young adult, you wonder why anyone would want to go back to being a kid. You can make your own choices, have independence, etc. But then there are plenty of occasions, as you proceed through this adulthood, when all you wish is to go back to a time with zero responsibilities. Adulting has its benefits and pains. Recently, I have been experiencing the frustrating reality checks that life is so good at giving us. I thought, why not write about it? Let me know below in the comments below, if anyone of you is experiencing the same!

Few of my reasons, why I feel “Adulting” is OVERRATED!

• Having to take responsibility for everything you do – good or horrible. At home, at work, in life. It was so easy when you could just blame your mistakes on being a kid. Now, there is just a lot expected of you.
• Everyone kind of expects you to be in a relationship but my love life is non-existent and it get’s harder and harder to find a proper guy. Disney completely lied about love. I swear. My Facebook timeline is full of people getting engaged, married, having children. Meanwhile, I’m living back home, and just really love to dwell in self-pity, on certain days.
• Paying random, multiplying bills and really having to take care of your money. Or when you realize how much you're actually making after those taxes are slashed off your salary.
• When you go to a networking event because every real adult in your life is like “YOU MUST NETWORK and meet NEW people!!”
• When you try to convince potential employers that you're qualified for a job, even though you’re enough talented.
• When you have to figure out how to make friends in the "real world". Because everyone wants to connect to you to get something out from you. Zaalim duniya!
• When your life achievements aren't exactly how you pictured them back in school. I remember, being a topper throughout in school and college, I had almost believed that these marks are going to guarantee me an amazing life ahead. I was so wrong.
• You constantly have to figure out your life and where to go next. Most of the time, it feels impossible.
• Your’re expected to act your age which is pretty much the most boring thing ever. Because I am childish. Quite.
• Making doctor’s appointments and taking care of your health, getting mental “Exercise” reminders.
• Getting your own place is so expensive.
• Having to listen to things like “your clock is ticking.” Seriously, mind your own damn business, aunty.
• That feeling of panic you get, when you see all the great things other people your age have achieved, and you start questioning all your life decisions.
• You realize that school didn’t really prepare you for anything real.
• You get judged for everything you do.
• That “damnit, my parents were right, after all” kind of feeling.
• You get a lot more noise sensitive. And, earphones come to your rescue!

Happiness : An Inside Job :)

Everything is always changing. 

"There is a cause-and-effect lawfulness that governs all unfolding experience. 

"What I do matters, but I am not in charge. Suffering results from struggling with what is beyond my control. [pp. 27-28]” 

― Sylvia Boorstein 

Happiness comes from within. It took me too long to understand this. 26 years, probably. As I write this post, I want you to know - 

Our ego wounded self is often very attached to a “project,” such as: 

• Once I have a partner, (or a different partner) then I will be happy. 

• Once I have enough money, then I will be happy. 

• Once I have the house (or car, or motorcycle, etc.), then I will be happy. 

• Once I have a baby, then I will be happy. 

• Once I lose weight, then I will be happy. 

• Once I have the right job, then I will be happy. 

• Once I move out of this city, then I will be happy. 

As long as you believe that your happiness is connected to something external, you will not be happy now. And there will always be something else — a different partner, more money, a different place to live or a different job — that will keep you from being happy now. 

“Having control over getting what I believe will make me happy is what’s important. I refuse to be happy until I have what I want!” Such a myth! 

It is very common these days, a lot of people in their search for happiness, search for it not within themselves but in other people and in material things. Many of them, including me, because we have been conditioned to believe so. 

If you are searching for it, remember, it means you lack it. You will never get happiness if you don’t know what it is to be happy within yourself. Our emotions are a result of our thoughts. It all starts from our thoughts which create our emotions. 

Our thoughts are a consequence of our reactions to various events that can happen in our life. It’s how we react to the problems, that create our state of mind, therefore we need to have a good attitude in life, in fact, Happiness is also an attitude of mind. Program yourself to be happy. Always. 

We also need to discover the things that make us unhappy and seek to avoid those. 

You need to realize that Happiness coming from material things is just illusory, temporary, is not really happiness but just pleasure. If we chase happiness in material things, our pursuit for happiness will never end. Chasing happiness only leads to pain and suffering. 

You already have everything that you need in order to be happy and live an extraordinary life. It resides within you. 

An ah-ha moment for me was learning about what really creates happiness; you can change your thought pattern about the situation or circumstance. Happiness is an inside job that requires work to be done in other words you have to work on changing your outlook on things. 

1. Gratitude - It is one of the most important rituals that I practice in my daily life. I believe that it is through the process of gratitude that we experience the purest form of joy. In doing so, we are able to cultivate a mindset that focuses on the positive. 

2. Self-love - It is the key to happiness. The best way to honour yourself is by listening to what it needs. This is where the power of a morning ritual comes into play. It is one of the secrets to success of some of the happiest people in the world. 

3. Mornings - Research shows that your mood in the morning affects your emotional state for the rest of the day. What makes you happy first thing in the morning? Commit to doing it because you deserve the love that you so freely give to others. 

As long as you believe that your happiness comes from outside you, happiness will likely elude you. Every moment that you look to people, things, events and outcomes to make you happy is a moment of life lost. Every moment spent trying to control someone or something in the hopes of getting what you believe will make you happy is a moment of happiness and joy lost. 

Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose or don’t choose each and every moment. Today, choose to be aware of what you are attaching your happiness to, and consciously limit the thoughts about what you believe you need externally to be happy. 

There’s a difference between transitory happiness and genuine happiness. As relative as it may sound, as I see Life more and more, deeper, the less I believe Happiness has anything to do with external factors. 

I have seen the happiest beggars and the most unhappy millionaires. I have seen grateful women who could never become mothers, and others ungrateful after even being blessed with their heirs. I have seen Love under moonlit skies and I have also seen no love under a palace. 

The transitory nature of this type of happiness – only leads us to crave more and more. This put us into an endless cycle of seeking the next object or experience that will bring gratification. 

Being content doesn’t mean you can’t have goals...yes they are necessary and need to be achieved, but happiness lies in where you are right now, being the person you are right now, and being perfectly happy in it. 

When you stop the mental commentary and you simply remain in the present, all of your suffering from the mental stories that you create are gone. Suffering is an inside job, and so is happiness. There is always something beautiful to witness. You can be locked in prison in solitary confinement, yet you can find beauty in the silver of sunshine that enters your cell. A dying person’s heartbeat can be a soothing sound in the final moments of his or her life. 

MORAL : Build happiness inside of you, and the world will automatically be a happier place. 

Second Chances In Life

"I have become convinced that God thoroughly enjoys fixing and saving things that are broken. That means that no matter how hurt and defeated you feel, no matter how badly you have been damaged, God can repair you. God can give anyone a second chance." -Melody Carlson

GIVING YOURSELF SECOND CHANCES

Second chances are the greatest gifts to yourself. The opportunity of a second chance is a new beginning, the ability to right a wrong, to encourage love, to ask for forgiveness. It can be life altering.

Damaged people can survive. There are points in our lives when we are damaged -emotionally, mentally and you feel like you are stranded on an island, all by yourself. We forget our abilities on such tough days.

Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. 
 

So choose yourself. Value life. TRUST, LIVE!

At one of stage of my life, my fear and depression decided the fate of my life. However, today, I am the one who is ruling it. I morphed from a damaged to happy personality. And, I believe I am capable of follow the steps, that surely turns me into happy person in future.

Life can knock us down, especially when we’re faced with problems that seem almost impossible to overcome. But that doesn’t mean you should give up. Try and try until things get better because you deserve all the wonderful things this life can offer. So go ahead, make mistakes, learn from them and live life to the fullest.

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist, was the first to coin the term “synchronicity” as a synonym for “meaningful coincidence.” Synchronistic events may at first appear to be random, but actually reveal a deeper meaning and order in one’s life.

Synchronicity often happens during major life changes. Significant loss, a new birth, personal crisis, and illness are powerful breeding grounds for synchronicity. It’s as if your soul is inviting you to take a new direction in your life. If you stay open and aware, you’ll start to notice synchronous events that act as guides for your next steps. By looking deeply at general themes or patterns that emerge, you can see where in your life your soul is asking you to grow. 
 

So instead of sulking and feeling gloomy and let desolation creep in because of your failure, let there be a ray of hope – a hope to get that hard-to-get second chance, which may transform your life in a way that you always wanted and waited for. Second chance that can give a new meaning to your existence and help you regain the lost confidence that is affecting your happiness. Second chance that would determine how serious you are about things that matter in your life! Second chance that’ll help you take a decision whether you still can fight against all odds and make things sail smooth.

Look around, analyze situations and ask yourself - Hasn’t life been kind to you ever? Has life always given you miseries and then not giving you a chance to correct your mistakes? Can’t be the case! It’s might be the case that you haven’t been attentive enough to notice and grab that second chance that came your way at some point. So it’s your mistake and you are at fault. If you have become used to living with regrets and don’t want to take or give second chances, then it’s not fair to blame life either.

GIVING OTHERS A SECOND CHANCE

Giving someone a second chance doesn’t mean that you “lost” as if life were a game where we keep score. The second chance is a process of self-healing. It is an opportunity for self-growth. The second chance is your new beginning to make a difference in yourself and your life.

There are many reasons that we wish to have a second chance. Perhaps, you want to mend something or a relationship with someone or pass that one exam. It may be because you made some sort of misstep on your career path. Or you have made mistakes in a past relationship and want to rekindle that relationship. Whatever it is, you want another opportunity, and you want to make some changes in yourself. In essence, the second chance is about just that: an opportunity.

Giving someone a second chance means trusting them again, it means believing that against all odds that they can rehabilitate themselves or abstain from creating the same problems. It means faith, and an understanding of what it is to be an imperfect human being.

The truth is - 
 

We’re all capable of terrible things. We all do damage. But we are all creatures of redemption, if we seek it. First, we have to give ourselves a second chance. No matter what mistake we’ve made or how many of them we have made, there are more of them to come. Each time we have to learn to forgive ourselves, and to teach ourselves an unwritten lesson.

More than the chances that others have given to me, I’m thankful of the second chances that I have given others. Some did deserve them, while others definitely didn’t. Whether they sabotaged their stroke of luck is irrelevant, because I’ll never be left to wonder if people are capable of change.

Embrace second chances!

Book Review #88 : Ramayana: The Game of Life – Book 4: Stand Strong

Author - Shubha Vilas

The Ramayana is not a story. It is a way of life. It is the game of life.

Life is a constant reminder that nothing, however powerful in one season, remains so in the next. These endless cycles of change could really spook someone who is unprepared to face the realities. Remember that situations of helplessness are always created by one’s own limited imagination.

• Perception appears larger than reality. Many were afraid to battle the Lankans, but grounded in reality, Rama and his army managed to free Sita.

• Fear results in pain. Lying broken and bruised, Sampati did not believe he could help until he did and it made all the difference.

• Clarity leads to freedom. Rama never wavered in his single-minded pursuit, and eventually got exactly what he wanted.

Do you have the courage to face your fears?

AUTHOR :

Shubha Vilas is a spiritual seeker and a motivational speaker. He helps people in dealing with modern-day life situations through the teachings of the Bhagavad Gita, Ramayana and other dharmic traditions. He conducts leadership seminars in premier institutes across the world and inspires deeper human values.

REVIEW:

Stand Strong is the fourth book in Ramayana: The Game of Life series. A modern retelling of the Kishkindha Kanda of Valmiki’s epic, it reminds us through the tragic story of brothers Vali and Sugriva that life is like a dangerous treasure hunt. One must be resilient while running through confusing, zigzagging paths to acquire essential wisdom.

This book is an authentic narration of the epic life lessons helping readers keep faith and conquer their fears. I have read the previous three parts. I feel that everything is alright and in control as long as I read this series. It gives meaning to my life and give me an intrinsic changeless core inside my heart to rely upon, in this ever changing and forever shifting external world.

Amazing book for the youth, it is filled with the practical situation in our life relating them to the incidents of the Ramayana. Things are nicely explained and filled with the touch of suspense and with it a nice teaching of our daily life. It is a beautifully written book covering even the most intricate details of the period.

I liked the book and I am sure people with a taste in Indian mythology would like it. And, for people who are still to read about it, Shubha’s books can be a fitting beginning. Overall, I recommend this book. Read it. It will not disappoint you. There is something or other to learn for anyone from this Game of Life.

I wish that may this Shubha Vilas' Ramayana may touch many more hearts, and enable them to improve their game of life. This book is a nourishment to your soul.

Rating – 4.5/5

Book Review #86: Zero Debt

Name of the book: Zero Debt: Break the Debt Cycle and Reclaim Your Life

Author: Neeraj Deginal

Genre: Non-Fiction, Self Help

No. of Pages:  112 pages

Zero Debt – Break the Debt Cycle and Reclaim Your Life, is about the author’s ten-year long journey from going neck deep into debt to being absolutely debt-free. In this book you will learn:

1. How the author got into debt (circumstances)

2. How being in debt paralysed cognitive decision making

3. How even simple day to day life became complicated

4. The thought process applied by the author to analyse his situation rationally

5. Systematic steps taken by the author to become and stay debt-free and the dilemmas faced during execution

6. Further actions taken to simplify life and plan for a better life

REVIEW: When I received this book, I thought it must be boring and based on accounts and finances, which honestly I have least interest in! My father handles and advises me on money related matters, with me being clueless! This book exactly highlights how both the schools and families fail to impart any sort of financial education, and how as earning adults we have to pay the price for it. I could so relate to it after a few pages!

This book seeks to inspire the reader to become debt-free, which eventually leads them to total freedom - financial freedom, emotional freedom or freedom from stress. As the author states, this is based on his experiences and the problems he faced. The steps he took may not work for everyone, but he wants to inspire people to rethink their situations.

Zero Debt, Break the debt cycle and reclaim your life is wonderfully useful book by Neeraj Deginal. This is the real life story of a man who was crushed under endless EMIs. It narrates us how he was neck deep in debts and how he came out of it to become cent percent debt free. I am sure most of us, who bought a home to save tax, bought second home as an investment, purchased a car because it was on EMIs and are left with meagre salary after all the deductions, will be able to relate to him.

Neeraj in his book has precisely articulated on the various phases of life in relevance with the financial preparations required, backed up with real-world experiences connecting both parts of life. The book certainly highlights the Dos & Don'ts of the practical life with emphasis on planning for the future and making educated decisions on even small money matters.

The book is extremely well written. The language is simple, yet riveting. The editing is superb. The book is divided into several short chapters which make it super easy to read. The book is interspersed with wonderful quotes.

Another interesting fact about this book is that it is a copyright free book. Though the book is based on the personal experiences of the author, according to him the ideas are not original. The objective of this book is to offer help and hence the readers are free to copy or reprint any content from it. So cool, isn't it?!

His journey through and out of debt using a systematic approach has been inspiring. I have already started working on my personal finances based on Neeraj's insights. It is a great and practical addition to anyone's personal finance library, articulated to convey the real life experiences of a growing professional in the corporate.

It contains invaluable lessons for those who are starting off their career or in the mid life and definitely there are lot of takeaways that would help one incorporate in their life to become debt-free for good.

NEGATIVES : The writing style the author prefers often omits articles such as "the" or "a" or "of," has some odd comma and semicolon placement. It becomes distracting in few places. Some topics are covered in depth more than once.

OVERALL VERDICT: The tips offered are not unique, really. They are common enough to have been tried and tested. So the author is sharing useful information, without being preachy. Truly inspiring and how everything is related (money, health). Must read for some great financial awareness. If are struggling on the financial front, this book could be your ultimate saviour.

Rating : ****/5

Disclaimer: I received a copy of book in return for my honest review.