What Makes A Relationship Last Long?

1. The ability to compromise is important for success in many aspects of life; your romantic relationship will also thrive when you've both have honed your ability to give and take. A long lasting relationship requires flexible individuals who are willing to give a little (and sometimes a lot) to ensure mutual happiness. If you and your partner are good at finding solutions that make you both happy, it's a good indicator that you'll be successful in the future.
2. Couples that have similar values & share a common sense of curiosity are a lot more likely to make it long-term just as are couples that share similar goals!
3. Your arguments should actually bring you closer. You HAVE TO communicate to each other with kind words. Never don't hold grudges once you're done fighting.
4. When you’re not insecure about each other’s successes & support each other's goals.
5. When you forgive each others’ bad days. Have a short memory and a lot of forgiveness. Prioritize your partner over anything else.
6. When you have bad news, your spouse is the first person you want to tell -- not the person you most dread telling. Daily connection time is a MUST have!
7. To keep your relationship brimming, with love, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. You still like them when you're angry.
8. Take that EXTRA effort equally.
9. When you challenge your old taught habits which might be snobbish like fighting over unmade bed, wet towels thrown carelessly on bed, etc. It’s not about being a neat freak, but c’mon, some things can be learnt & changed!
10. When you trust each other at all cost.

A Cappuccino & Books Kinda Mood!

A book and a cup of coffee: two of the most comforting things in our modern lives. As the poet R.M. Engelhardt once wrote, “A smoke, a book, a cup of coffee. These are the little things that get us through this sometimes weary world and all the rainy days.”

I have a special love of books and coffee, the two pairing perfectly together. Coffee can be a pick-me-up to a dreary day; so can a book. Coffee can be the jolt you need to start on a new project; so can a book. The memory of a good cup of coffee will stay with you long after you’ve consumed it, and the same goes for a good book. I think the special connection between books and coffee is simple: ideas!!!

There is a connection between coffee and books that goes beyond the feeling of coziness induced when we wrap one hand around a warm mug and use the other hand to turn the pages of whatever we are reading. Books often serve a similar purpose, allowing us to detach from the world around us and dive into a new one. In that way, books can be our solace, and they require our undivided attention.

Reading “is a soothing experience.” Books require our focus, and coffee aids in that process; together, the two force us to slow down. And THAT is exactly my mood today- dive into a book, SLOW DOWN a bit & spend carefree hours reading with a cup of warm frothy coffee. :)

“GROWING” in a relationship!

For me, “growing” in a relationship means the following:

• Your partner begins to see you more positively than you see yourself. You might be insecure about a feature or two about you, but they find you attractive always. They encourage you to be yourself.
• Your partner's good habits rub off on you—including health, finance, lifestyle, or psychological habits.
• Your relationship provides practical and emotional support that allows you to pursue your personal goals.
• You begin to persist hard things & difficult situations in life together - as two mature people. Such things grow you together and not apart.
• Your relationship helps you learn to trust that another person is dependable and emotionally available to you.
• When tiny things don’t hurt and resentments don’t creep up on you both - when there are no unspoken, unconscious issues present or overlooked in your relationship.
• When you have the best communication, you speak and listen to one another with intense presence, honesty, patience, and compassion.
• When there’s no comparison of what jobs people have, their homes, their clothes. When you don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. You’re happy with the view out your own front door and you cherish that.
• One of the most important sentiments of human love is intimacy, that means, "in-to-me-see." Desire serves as the connection between love and sex that gets liveliness and spontaneity in your lives and in the relationship. Love is the best aphrodisiac.
• When playfulness, creativity, and commitment help you maintain your freedom that lets you breathe while also remaining deeply connected to your partner.
• When you do not let small anger accumulate & sort things before you call it a day.
• When you work together for a better life and repeat how grateful you’re for having each other around.
• When you share curiosity for same things & sometimes take an interest in what interests the other person too.
• When you go the extra mile for them, relationships cannot be 50–50 all the time. It has to be unconditional at times.

4 Super Useful Things I Suggest You Do - That Need 30 Seconds Or Less!

There are so many things that need 30 seconds or even less. Here are a few, I would suggest! :)

1. Boost Your Confidence and Reduce Stress (POWER POSE!): Find a quiet place. Stand up straight and lift your chin. Keep a straight posture and a superhero stance. This releases confidence-boosting testosterone instantly! You can try doing this prior to an interview or public speech. Or it can simple be used to help with stress!

2. Micro-meditate: Take that tiny bit of time, close your eyes and take a few deep breaths to build mindfulness in this digital age. This helps in clearing your head, especially when you’re in the middle of the day & feeling anxious.

3. Stretch: 30 seconds is pretty much the perfect amount of time to hold a stretch! It is relaxing, soothing and makes you flexible!

4. Pay your online bill(s): It only takes a few seconds to fill up your card details and pay up. It decreases your debt/pending payments. It's great adulting! ;)

Give Her A Break! #HappyMothersDay

When I say that I need a break, I'm not talking about wanting a vacation or a treat as a reward for doing my job. Needing a break doesn't mean that I'm seeking a respite from my responsibilities or that I want to put my feet up. It means that I need a moment to feel like a human being in the midst of a relentless life where I don't belong to myself anymore; where I give my love and energy away, every moment of my existence, and can't figure out how to keep any for myself. I just need a few minutes to not be on edge, working my nerves and spirits raw for the safety and happiness and health of my kids. I just need a moment to remember who I am, to not feel worried and harried and invisible. I need a second to catch my breath, to make my own choices, to try to love myself, for a moment. My breaks might allow me to think my own thoughts for a few moments.

- A Mother

Motherhood is challenging. We love you, Moms. We do. And, thank you. For EVERYTHING. #HappyMothersDay

Book Review #133 : Good Vibes, Good Life

Want to better yourself? This book will help you get there!

Firstly, I was taken aback by the simple but truly pleasing design and aesthetics of the book - it looks so beautiful sitting on my study desk!

Good Vibes, Good Life by Vex King is a Self Help book in which the author talks about very important things like self-love, humility, failure, meditation, empowering thoughts and living a greater life. There are so many references to other books and scientific principles which makes me believe that all the things which are being talked about are well researched. There are so many things in this book which a person might already know but has perhaps forgotten about. There are numerous life lessons which have the potential to change a person's life.

The book is primarily based on the Law of Vibration which affects our entire being. When paid attention to and used for good, it helps a person to achieve success, peace and happiness. I really liked the fact that so many other aspects of life such as fear, anxiety and negativity in general are being dealt with in the book and practical solutions are being provided to deal with them. I also liked the fact that the author has not belittled the impact of these things but has rather discussed the situations which he faced in his life and how he dealt with them. Life is not painted as picture perfect heavenly ride but numerous solutions are provided to deal with difficult situations which makes this book a helpful read.

I would suggest you to read this book at a slow pace so that you can introspect and think through the solutions provided in this book to make your life better. It is a book that guides you while being packed with honest and insightful perspectives.

I have learnt that self-love is not just a concept but rather an art to be mastered. I think that the interpretation of self-love can often become confused with being selfish or inconsiderate. However, it is rather an embodiment of ‘empowerment and liberation’; something which I in fact once found difficult to comprehend and understand. By Vex King splitting the book into seven parts, he allows the reader to clearly follow the journey to finding their purpose, practicing self-love beautifully and achieving ultimate happiness. By breaking the path into stages, one is able to fully explore and focus on different aspects of their life to wholly develop as a person.

One thing which really struck is me how we are the creator of our own lives. We hold the power. What we want we can have if we set the right intention and act. Anything that happens in our life (not only ourselves but our sphere of influence, experiences and painful moments) are a result of our own emotions, thoughts and actions. “So if you are thinking the same thoughts and you know that your thoughts create your reality- then same thoughts lead to the same choices, the same choices lead to the same behaviours, the same behaviours create the same experiences, the same experiences produce the same feelings and the same feelings drive the very same thoughts.” It becomes an endless cycle. Thus, to gain control of our thoughts we must be able to understand our emotions and be able to process them so that we can control our reactions. Only then can we transform them so they have a positively impact.

I would like to say that King’s meticulous, considered structure, easy to read yet complex and inspiring content and most importantly his kindness, genuineness, authenticity and passion not only make ‘Good Vibes Good Life’ an resonant book to remember but also portrays a beautiful journey to one leading a life of purpose, possibility and positivity.

Verdict: Amazing from start to finish. This is a book that everyone can relate to and is a brilliant guide to raising your vibration and self-love. There's no hidden meaning. Vex has literally laid everything out for you. This book has definitely helped me a lot. The self-growth I intend to achieve is something I owe to myself. Living a life, I truly love is the journey that excites me!

Overall, a 'CANNOT put down' book! 😊

Ratings: 5/5

Book Review #123 : 'Til Health Do Us Part

In this well-crafted memoir, author Rooney chronicles her journey towards holistic wellness as she healed from a host of debilitating diseases and her family falling apart.

She introduces readers to her past through flashbacks—physical and sexual abuse as a child, her joyful marriage disintegrating as her husband’s career progressed, and dozens of doctors piling on diagnoses and medications. In 2010, Rooney’s life took a life-altering turn when she moved to Hawaii and met Xavier, a shrewd, composed Eastern healer who guided her towards health with constant probing. Xavier’s enduring patience with her fuels her sense of humor which allows her to express her true feelings. With his help, she thrived and separated herself from the toxic environment of her family, established a healthy diet, and learned to nurture herself. But the biggest hurdle was weaning herself from the heavy medications she had become dependent on for years. As she made monumental strides to improve physically, she also engaged in the grueling emotional work of overcoming the pattern of self-destruction rooted in an inability to love herself. 

The author takes you through her personal transformation, kicking & screaming, as she experiences her awakening realizing that her choices are creating her reality. This book is a soul’s journey, a spiritual story, told by a woman as she discovers that the body, mind & breath are all connected. She comes to realize that her emotional state of consciousness is creating her physical challenges. Xavier helps her to connect with that inner voice which becomes the pivotal trigger that propels her forward with confidence in knowing she has established her connection to her essence. 

Rooney’s writing style is genuine and engaging; short chapters keep the pace lively. The chapters usually ended with a statement that enticed me to keep reading. The narrative weaves seamlessly between what is she experiences in Hawaii, her childhood and young adult years, and the years during which her diseases progress. Not even a physician can fix a person if they're not willing to participate in their own healing. She captures Xavier’s advice in memorable stories and phrases, like his observation that in healing, “there’s a point…where you stop swimming away from something and begin to swim towards something.”

Julie’s honest reflection & relationship with her emotional state of mind throughout the process of healing radiated with so much honesty. You can feel her sorrow when she realizes that she needs to listen to & depend on her own intuitive voice in order to go forward & be truly healthy and happy. I'm inspired and uplifted, and the writing, injected with humor and passion, makes this book worth sharing with anyone I know! Her total healing is raw and remarkable. Quite the courageous lady. 

Verdict : An astonishing yet plausible story of recovery told with authenticity and a healthy dose of humor. Would recommend this book to anyone really wanting to understand what true health is all about.

Rating : 5/5

P.S : This book was provided to me in exchange for an honest and unbiased review.

Book Review #114 : the sun and her flowers

The Sun and Her Flowers, by Rupi Kaur, is perfect for anyone who has recently broken up with someone who did not nurture your soul sufficiently to sprout. For all shattered spirits in search of a safe haven, this poetic collection is nectar to busy little injured bees. In a garden where precious buds are in dire need of water, The Sun and Her Flowers reflects souls who rise above the barriers that hinder their growth. It is a passage between decay, awakening, and healing. Rupi Kaur’s most recent anthology is “the recipe of life.”

Rupi Kaur vividly plays with paradoxical symbols. The book cover contained sunflowers, typically resembling joy and vitality, and its content depicts themes of woe and melancholy. It symbolises the process of regaining light after prolonged, somber nights of despair. Even vibrant and cheerful beings, like sunflowers, can wilt and suffer with scarce nurturing.

The Sun and Her Flowers encompasses an enticing table of contents, akin to a flower cycle: wilting, falling, rooting, rising, and blooming. Each category portrays poems with illustrations done by Kaur herself, relevant to their respective themes.

One of the many reasons to love this book  is its capacity to truly mend and heal broken hearts stuck in despair and darkness. This anthology provides light at the end of the readers’ tunnels, and give hope to souls who consider themselves unfortunate.

If you read her first book (Milk and Honey), it's still in Rupi's signature style, but she manages to cover similar topics from a different standpoint. It kind of feels as though her books are maturing with her, as this one handles the issues from Milk and Honey in a more mature, learned tone.

Even if some of the poems in the sun and her flowers seem like recycled oldies-but-goodies, there's no denying that Kaur is brilliant. She's not afraid to speak her mind and talk about taboo subjects, such as female infanticide, immigration, rape, abuse, mental illness and sexual empowerment. Her poems contain difficult subject matter and can be hard to read, but they all hold a unique power that can and will speak to many people around the world. This leaves readers feeling as though Kaur has gone deep into the depths of their personal lives and put all the heart-wrenching feelings they once felt down on paper.

Reading The Sun and Her Flowers will honestly change your life and your relationships with yourself and others. I am truly looking forward to reading her future publications. Definitely recommend that ALL young women read this, if for no other reason than to see that we are all sharing very similar struggles in love and life in general.

Ratings : 5/5 

Follow Your Bliss ...

 

“Follow your bliss ... If you do follow your bliss, you put yourself on a kind of track that has been there all the while, waiting for you, and the life that you ought to be living is the one you are living. When you can see that, you begin to meet people who are in your field of bliss, and they open doors to you. I say, follow your bliss and don’t be afraid, and doors will open where you didn’t know they were going to be.” — Joseph Campbell

Joseph Campbell, who specialized in applying lessons from mythology to modern human experiences, was the first to use the phrase “follow your bliss.” He saw it as an essential part of the formula for living life to the fullest.

In other words, if you do things you are passionate about, you'll feel fully alive and doors will open up for you. Sacred space is an absolute necessity for anybody today. You must have a room, or a certain hour or so a day, where you don’t know what was in the newspapers that morning, you don’t know who your friends are, you don’t know what you owe anybody, you don’t know what anybody owes to you. This is a place where you can simply experience and bring forth what you are and what you might be. This is the place of creative incubation. At first you may find that nothing happens there. But if you have a sacred place and use it, something eventually will happen.

Anyone who is willing to leave the well-trodden path that many before them have traveled and follow their bliss on the road less-traveled can do the same thing. Is it easy to follow your bliss? Of course not; that is why Campbell calls it “the hero’s journey”: You’ll have a chance to encounter every dragon (fear) that lives within the darkest caverns of your mind that wants to keep your life small and safe... and I can attest to that. 

Your re-defining moment doesn’t happen just one time in your life; it happens every time you make a decision to follow your bliss, again, and again, and again. There are new doors awaiting your arrival. The adventure is its own reward — but it’s necessarily dangerous, having both negative and positive possibilities, all of them beyond control.

Having said all this, there are a certain “bliss myths” I want to cover here : 

Myth #1: Following your bliss means simply doing the things that make you happy.

Myth #2: Following your bliss means quitting your day job.

Myth #3: Following your bliss means you’ll be instantly successful and feel blissful all the time.

Myth #4: You only have one bliss. 

Bliss may be defined as a natural direction you can take as a way to maximize your sense of joy, fulfilment, and purpose. Sometimes people equate bliss with being in a state of euphoria, but in reality, being blissful is the state you’re in when you’re doing what brings you a deep sense of joy. When you’re in a blissful state, you’re listening to the voice of your heart. To achieve and maintain a state of bliss, it’s important to be open-minded and to be a risk-taker—walking the road less traveled. 

To seek your own personal bliss, you might wish to sit quietly and meditate about a time in your life when you were the happiest. Remain with that moment, as well as the feelings stirring inside you. When you think you’ve figured out at least one thing that makes you feel blissful, then stay with it. Write about that state. Recording your feelings can help you dig deeper into self-discovery and determine the ways in which you can follow your bliss—always keeping in mind that bliss is a calling that’s calling you. Bliss is a winding road. It is the byproduct of a life well lived. Find your bliss station. Does this idea resonate with you? Let me know in the comments below!

Book Review #102 : The Last Lecture

If you know that you have a very short time of good health, how would you like to spend your time? You want to fulfill your dreams, spend quality time with your family or do what you are best at. Very similar is the case of Randy Pausch, a computer science professor at Carnegie Mellon, who has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. He was asked to give a lecture and he couldn’t imagine it to be his last one. Randy said “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand”. 

This book is inspiring, motivating and can craft the inanimate to life. The author has beautifully combined humor, intelligence, and wisdom. He has exemplified many stories which cover subjects like hard work, team work, sacrifice, self-confidence, modesty, dreaming big, perseverance, positivity, courage and dealing with adversity. For the reader, the book is a glimpse into the life of a dying man who fights every moment to be alive and not a mere story.

He finds himself winning the parent lottery. He was influenced by his loving and supporting parents. During his life, he learnt many lessons from his experiences and has shared them in a striking manner. He also reveals how he achieved his childhood dream of becoming a Disney Imagineer, getting to Zero Gravity, being the coolest guy at amusement park and playing in the National football League (which he never made it).

The book shows a transformational change of his life when he is diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, portrays the changes in his day to day life and how he managed to achieve more in those turbulent times. He always maintained a positive outlook. Pausch loved his wife and children and he expressed it after every slide of his last lecture. He has dedicated his last lecture to his children and concludes by looking forward to sharing his dreams for his children. He recounts that his wife Jai was his caregiver and this means a lot to him. This book makes us feel like family to him, supporting him in his battle against a terminal cancer.

In a chapter entitled, “It’s About How to Live Your Life,” Pausch talks of his cancer and it’s effects on the remainder of his life. He described how he tried to live his life and offered some tips on coping saying “this is what worked for me.” He talks about giving yourself permission to dream big, and achieving your goals. He points out that we all have a finite amount of time and energy and that time spent complaining cannot help us achieve our goals. 

The book is an easy read, that’s packed with a lot of punch. It’s a collection of 61 short stories and is a celebration of a life worth living. Pausch packed a lot of distilled wisdom and knowledge of his 47 years.

There are many nuggets of wisdom interspersed throughout The Last Lecture. 

If you want something bad enough, don’t give up. 

Luck = Preparation + Opportunity. 

Recognize when it’s time to change your strategy. “I signed up for the hardest treatments that could be thrown at me because I wanted to be around as long as possible to be there for my kids.” When Pausch realized that, that was not going to be the case, he changed his strategy to leaving a legacy and spending quality time with his wife and each of his three children. 

Get the fundamentals down for everything. Have you mastered the fundamentals for your job? 

Your attitude affects the outcome of every situation. 

Complaining does not work as a strategy. 

Value people more than you value things. 

While reading The Last Lecture, I gleaned three questions to differentiate us, and I’m still trying to answer them for myself: 

What are three things that matter the most to you? 

What’s unique about you? 

What do you alone truly have to offer? 

Written in a highly personable and conversational fashion, The Last Lecture is part autobiography, part life lesson, and all heart. Through a quick tour of his life and career, Randy demonstrates how one should live while being candid about his impending death.

Despite his condition, Randy’s writing is light-hearted and upbeat. One can’t tell from the prose that its the work of a dying man as its often peppered with deadpan and occasionally self deprecating humour. 

Perhaps the hardest part of the book to read are the sections where Randy writes about his family. One can feel how painful it must be for him to plan so many things ahead – writing little notes to his kids, making videos, bringing his family on various activities etc – while in the throes of death.

It is certainly admirable that Randy manages to rise above his circumstances and to continue to be a teacher even unto his death. As the author himself has shared, the book isn’t about dying but about living. I do know for sure that it has provided me with lots of food for thought about what I should do with my own life.

What readers take away from The Last Lecture is in this same vein. The book isn’t about one man’s struggle against cancer, or the outcome of his treatment (Pausch died on July 25, 2008). It’s not an overcoming-all-odds story. It’s about making the most out of what you have, and enjoying every minute of the adventure, regardless of how it turns out in the end.

RATING -5/5 

A must read.

Book Review #101 : Milk and Honey

Book - Milk and Honey
Author - Rupi Kaur
Genre - Poetry
Publisher - Andrews McMeel Publishing
Hit the shelves on - November 4, 2014
Pages - 204

This heartfelt collection of poems hit the shelves November of 2014. I saw milk and honey in the local bookwalah shop and decided to embrace my poetic side and purchase it. Needless to say, I was baffled with what I found folded into the pages. I was expecting an inspirational slightly tacky read much like how I viewed poetry prior to this. What I found was vulnerability, startling bluntness, and a pure and raw story laced into the pages of Rupi Kaur's poetry.

Kaur breaks her book into four parts; the hurting, the loving, the breaking and the healing. The poems open in a bit of a dark aura. The hurting depicts the author’s experiences with sexual assault and the struggles of overcoming family issues. This section is a bit chilling.

The next section, the loving, is a more uplifting read. The poems are sweet and idealistic. These are the ones that couples want to read to remind themselves of why they are still together.

The breaking returned us to a darker place in Kaur’s life. Any girl that has ever endured a break up after a long term relationship could find a relatable poem in this section. While these poems were sad, they were also very realistic and relatable.

The last section of milk and honey accomplished exactly what I think the author was aiming for. These poems empowered women to embrace themselves and to value who they are regardless of the turmoil they have endured. I would recommend this section to anyone going through a break up or just yearning for some comfort.

Overall, I really enjoyed this compilation of poems and would totally recommend to anyone who is looking to heal from a bad experience in life or breakup.

Btw - Upon publication, ‘milk and honey’ sold over 1.5 million copies, defying expectations of modern poetry’s popularity. In an age favouring easily digested thriller novels and celebrity biographies far above verse, this collection of poetry is certainly the exception to the rule. Perhaps this is due to Kaur undercutting the impersonality of a modernist aesthetic with accessible, simplistic language. Kaur does not subscribe to the belief that poetry must be difficult to be meaningful, championing a direct and inclusive register that unites her personal experiences with the reader. Combining a first person perspective with the repeated second person pronoun ‘you’, Kaur further bridges the gap between her poetry and her audience. She forges a link that causes the reader to imagine themselves not only as author, but as muse. Pointing beyond the page at ‘you’, Kaur rejects the division of the reader from the writer, assimilating her own experiences, memories, and subjects with her audience.

VERDICT - ‘milk and honey’, is a ‘modern classic’, worthy to be read out loud, written in texts to loved ones, and learnt by heart. The reminder to appreciate yourself and to embrace emotion is timeless.

The book teaches you that life is filled with terrible and heartbreaking moments but within those moments you can find great things. Great things that you might have missed if you were not looking. There is so much meaning and emotion behind every word, and it is even relatable. Several of the poems deal with situations that many face today.

RATING – 5/5

Happiness : An Inside Job :)

Everything is always changing. 

"There is a cause-and-effect lawfulness that governs all unfolding experience. 

"What I do matters, but I am not in charge. Suffering results from struggling with what is beyond my control. [pp. 27-28]” 

― Sylvia Boorstein 

Happiness comes from within. It took me too long to understand this. 26 years, probably. As I write this post, I want you to know - 

Our ego wounded self is often very attached to a “project,” such as: 

• Once I have a partner, (or a different partner) then I will be happy. 

• Once I have enough money, then I will be happy. 

• Once I have the house (or car, or motorcycle, etc.), then I will be happy. 

• Once I have a baby, then I will be happy. 

• Once I lose weight, then I will be happy. 

• Once I have the right job, then I will be happy. 

• Once I move out of this city, then I will be happy. 

As long as you believe that your happiness is connected to something external, you will not be happy now. And there will always be something else — a different partner, more money, a different place to live or a different job — that will keep you from being happy now. 

“Having control over getting what I believe will make me happy is what’s important. I refuse to be happy until I have what I want!” Such a myth! 

It is very common these days, a lot of people in their search for happiness, search for it not within themselves but in other people and in material things. Many of them, including me, because we have been conditioned to believe so. 

If you are searching for it, remember, it means you lack it. You will never get happiness if you don’t know what it is to be happy within yourself. Our emotions are a result of our thoughts. It all starts from our thoughts which create our emotions. 

Our thoughts are a consequence of our reactions to various events that can happen in our life. It’s how we react to the problems, that create our state of mind, therefore we need to have a good attitude in life, in fact, Happiness is also an attitude of mind. Program yourself to be happy. Always. 

We also need to discover the things that make us unhappy and seek to avoid those. 

You need to realize that Happiness coming from material things is just illusory, temporary, is not really happiness but just pleasure. If we chase happiness in material things, our pursuit for happiness will never end. Chasing happiness only leads to pain and suffering. 

You already have everything that you need in order to be happy and live an extraordinary life. It resides within you. 

An ah-ha moment for me was learning about what really creates happiness; you can change your thought pattern about the situation or circumstance. Happiness is an inside job that requires work to be done in other words you have to work on changing your outlook on things. 

1. Gratitude - It is one of the most important rituals that I practice in my daily life. I believe that it is through the process of gratitude that we experience the purest form of joy. In doing so, we are able to cultivate a mindset that focuses on the positive. 

2. Self-love - It is the key to happiness. The best way to honour yourself is by listening to what it needs. This is where the power of a morning ritual comes into play. It is one of the secrets to success of some of the happiest people in the world. 

3. Mornings - Research shows that your mood in the morning affects your emotional state for the rest of the day. What makes you happy first thing in the morning? Commit to doing it because you deserve the love that you so freely give to others. 

As long as you believe that your happiness comes from outside you, happiness will likely elude you. Every moment that you look to people, things, events and outcomes to make you happy is a moment of life lost. Every moment spent trying to control someone or something in the hopes of getting what you believe will make you happy is a moment of happiness and joy lost. 

Happiness is not something that happens to you. It is something you choose or don’t choose each and every moment. Today, choose to be aware of what you are attaching your happiness to, and consciously limit the thoughts about what you believe you need externally to be happy. 

There’s a difference between transitory happiness and genuine happiness. As relative as it may sound, as I see Life more and more, deeper, the less I believe Happiness has anything to do with external factors. 

I have seen the happiest beggars and the most unhappy millionaires. I have seen grateful women who could never become mothers, and others ungrateful after even being blessed with their heirs. I have seen Love under moonlit skies and I have also seen no love under a palace. 

The transitory nature of this type of happiness – only leads us to crave more and more. This put us into an endless cycle of seeking the next object or experience that will bring gratification. 

Being content doesn’t mean you can’t have goals...yes they are necessary and need to be achieved, but happiness lies in where you are right now, being the person you are right now, and being perfectly happy in it. 

When you stop the mental commentary and you simply remain in the present, all of your suffering from the mental stories that you create are gone. Suffering is an inside job, and so is happiness. There is always something beautiful to witness. You can be locked in prison in solitary confinement, yet you can find beauty in the silver of sunshine that enters your cell. A dying person’s heartbeat can be a soothing sound in the final moments of his or her life. 

MORAL : Build happiness inside of you, and the world will automatically be a happier place. 

Why I Want To Visit Paris And The Eiffel Tower? #BUCKETLIST

Paris... It is the world’s most romantic place. It’s the fashion capital.

It is on my bucket list, since I don’t know when. And yes, to an extent, Bollywood is to be blamed for this obsession!

One of Paris' most iconic attractions, the Eiffel Tower, is well known for its long queues. Each night (from dusk) the Eiffel Tower is illuminated by sparkling lights for five minutes. My dream is to catch a glimpse of that and stare at the spectacular sight. DID YOU KNOW - There are 20,000 light bulbs used on the Eiffel Tower to make it sparkle every night?

Paris is one of those cities on most people's "to visit" list and quite rightly so. It's not really a question of why visit Paris, rather why would you not.

The city of love has its own je ne sais quoi whether you've been there once, one hundred times or as yet have only seen it in the movies. Either way, Paris has something which other cities don't. And it's not just that Paris has something special, it has a lot of special somethings and the city knows it.

Its inhabitants are proud to be Parisian and whilst they may not say it out loud, they know that they live in one of the most magical cities in the world.

Perhaps, the greatest reason why you should visit the Eiffel Tower when in Paris is because it represents the city. Yes, Paris is home a number of architectural wonders, including beautiful chateaus and museums, but the Eiffel Tower is the most well-known of them all. In fact, ask a small child about Paris and they will likely respond with the Eiffel Tower. In fact, this is one visit, you are likely to treasure for years to come.

Queen of Paris, standing tall, sturdy legs planted deep into the soil of the Left Bank, her Cyclops eye keeping watch, circling over Paris at night, luring tourists worldwide like some sort of Gargantuan Siren. Her mythological beauty and astounding carriage destroy the most fervid Francophobe’s resistance to Paris with her charms, for indeed, is there anyone who can say that they do not like the Eiffel Tower? Paris without the Eiffel Tower is as absurd a proposition as New York without its Empire State Building, San Francisco without its Golden Gate Bridge, Rome without its ancient Roman Forum–one cannot imagine one without the other.

The power of her majesty, is seemingly boundless. Her effigy, her portrait in miniature, bestows an immediate cachet.

You will fall in love with this real-world fantasy

French is called the language of love and Paris has long been hailed as the most romantic city on earth so even the most hardened hearts amongst us would struggle not to be charmed by this place. Adored by honeymooners and lovers, Paris is built on romance.

And its not just romance of the physical kind, but of the architecture, the history, the boulevards and the parks. It's the romance of sitting in a cafe reading all afternoon, it's the romance of neighborhoods packed with impoverished writers or a shadowy jazz club open all night. Whether you visit Paris with a loved one or not, it is hard to ignore the romance of the city.

You will stop mistaking style for vanity

Another reason why many people visit Paris is that it's a city where style and beauty are worshipped like gods, shopping is nothing less than an art form. Almost everything in this city, from the world's most expensive dresses to kitchen appliances, is astoundingly stylish.

Parisians have a knack of looking elegant and chic in every occasion, whatever the weather, so it would be a crime when visiting Paris, this city of style, not to pick up a few hints and indulge slightly.

If it is high-end couture you seek Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré is your Mecca. Chloé and YSL rub shoulders with the likes of Versace, Lanvin and Gucci on this street of dreams. Boutiques and vintage stores selling one-of-a-kind creations can be found in the Marais to give that element of Parisian je ne sais quoi to your wardrobe.

I am waiting for the day I can finally tick it off my bucket list. Do you also have any place on your bucketlist? Tell me your reasons why you want to visit it in the comments below :)

Second Chances In Life

"I have become convinced that God thoroughly enjoys fixing and saving things that are broken. That means that no matter how hurt and defeated you feel, no matter how badly you have been damaged, God can repair you. God can give anyone a second chance." -Melody Carlson

GIVING YOURSELF SECOND CHANCES

Second chances are the greatest gifts to yourself. The opportunity of a second chance is a new beginning, the ability to right a wrong, to encourage love, to ask for forgiveness. It can be life altering.

Damaged people can survive. There are points in our lives when we are damaged -emotionally, mentally and you feel like you are stranded on an island, all by yourself. We forget our abilities on such tough days.

Sooner or later, we all go through a crucible. Most believe there are two types of people who go into a crucible. The ones who become stronger from the experience and survive it, and the ones who die. 
 

So choose yourself. Value life. TRUST, LIVE!

At one of stage of my life, my fear and depression decided the fate of my life. However, today, I am the one who is ruling it. I morphed from a damaged to happy personality. And, I believe I am capable of follow the steps, that surely turns me into happy person in future.

Life can knock us down, especially when we’re faced with problems that seem almost impossible to overcome. But that doesn’t mean you should give up. Try and try until things get better because you deserve all the wonderful things this life can offer. So go ahead, make mistakes, learn from them and live life to the fullest.

Carl Jung, the Swiss psychologist, was the first to coin the term “synchronicity” as a synonym for “meaningful coincidence.” Synchronistic events may at first appear to be random, but actually reveal a deeper meaning and order in one’s life.

Synchronicity often happens during major life changes. Significant loss, a new birth, personal crisis, and illness are powerful breeding grounds for synchronicity. It’s as if your soul is inviting you to take a new direction in your life. If you stay open and aware, you’ll start to notice synchronous events that act as guides for your next steps. By looking deeply at general themes or patterns that emerge, you can see where in your life your soul is asking you to grow. 
 

So instead of sulking and feeling gloomy and let desolation creep in because of your failure, let there be a ray of hope – a hope to get that hard-to-get second chance, which may transform your life in a way that you always wanted and waited for. Second chance that can give a new meaning to your existence and help you regain the lost confidence that is affecting your happiness. Second chance that would determine how serious you are about things that matter in your life! Second chance that’ll help you take a decision whether you still can fight against all odds and make things sail smooth.

Look around, analyze situations and ask yourself - Hasn’t life been kind to you ever? Has life always given you miseries and then not giving you a chance to correct your mistakes? Can’t be the case! It’s might be the case that you haven’t been attentive enough to notice and grab that second chance that came your way at some point. So it’s your mistake and you are at fault. If you have become used to living with regrets and don’t want to take or give second chances, then it’s not fair to blame life either.

GIVING OTHERS A SECOND CHANCE

Giving someone a second chance doesn’t mean that you “lost” as if life were a game where we keep score. The second chance is a process of self-healing. It is an opportunity for self-growth. The second chance is your new beginning to make a difference in yourself and your life.

There are many reasons that we wish to have a second chance. Perhaps, you want to mend something or a relationship with someone or pass that one exam. It may be because you made some sort of misstep on your career path. Or you have made mistakes in a past relationship and want to rekindle that relationship. Whatever it is, you want another opportunity, and you want to make some changes in yourself. In essence, the second chance is about just that: an opportunity.

Giving someone a second chance means trusting them again, it means believing that against all odds that they can rehabilitate themselves or abstain from creating the same problems. It means faith, and an understanding of what it is to be an imperfect human being.

The truth is - 
 

We’re all capable of terrible things. We all do damage. But we are all creatures of redemption, if we seek it. First, we have to give ourselves a second chance. No matter what mistake we’ve made or how many of them we have made, there are more of them to come. Each time we have to learn to forgive ourselves, and to teach ourselves an unwritten lesson.

More than the chances that others have given to me, I’m thankful of the second chances that I have given others. Some did deserve them, while others definitely didn’t. Whether they sabotaged their stroke of luck is irrelevant, because I’ll never be left to wonder if people are capable of change.

Embrace second chances!