Gold Diggers

Well, gold diggers seem to be everywhere at the moment, in large numbers in men and women both. People want to be financially stable and to be able to afford the nice things in life. Frankly, some people (can be men & women both) are unlikely to achieve that through their own work/potential. Such men marry women for dowry and other such demands/luxuries, and such women be gold diggers and marry only for money.

And it was in the past that it was accepted as a woman's duty to make a good marriage, cook etc. Now it’s time for equal roles. I find myself wondering often, what is the difference between being a Cinderella and gold digging? Where do you draw the line?

The simple answer, of course is that, in these days of equality, women no longer need to marry into money - most of us can make our own. Women are ambitious nowadays. As a matter of fact, millennial men are gold diggers. Society is less likely to scrutinize males who partake in this trend when compared to women.

And often, I see the woman who leaves her job to make a family, while the man goes out to work and achieve his career goals.

I agree there are “irresponsible” women who are married off to rich guys in trade of their good looks/white skin/bad marks. But here- there are men too who accept gori chamdi as a beautiful (read: trophy wife) wife!

I feel we all need to answer this to ourselves: If your spouse was to go broke today, would you stay with him/her?

Of course, no one wants to be in this predicament but sometimes shit just happens. Are you the wife/husband that will hold things down till he/she picks things back? If you answered, “yes,” then you are more of a financial planner and less of a goal digger!

A gold digger looks at her man/ women as an endorsement deal. As long as he/she keeps her/him in the finest things and keeps the money flowing, she/he will stick around. But when that money is gone, so is your trophy wife/rich husband.

Bollywood Song That Talks Of Self-Respect & Self-Love To Me!

“Kinaare” from QUEEN movie.

This song embodies the theme of the movie, independence and self identity; It compares its quest to the search of shores for someone who is drowning mid sea. It crescendos perfectly in the 5th para with the realization that —

“Khud hi To hain hum… Kinaare (We ourselves are our, Shores)”.

Even if all the boatmen leave us,

Then, we will become oars ourselves,

and cross (the ocean) on our own..

Why others, we’ll ask ourselves,

The paths to follow,

Somewhere here in the waves,

We will find… (Shores)

Self-sufficiency gives one the freedom to discover one's true self and attain true independence. To be happy in one’s own company is the greatest nirvana attained!

By beginning to create boundaries for yourself - it that show others that you have self-respect. Release people from your life who don't honor your boundaries. Have confidence in yourself and live with grace, honor, and dignity!

Two Best Reasons To Wake Up Early!

1. Better concentration & enhanced productivity: Brains tend to be most alert in the morning. Starting your day early improves your concentration. In addition to being able to focus on goals and task lists without being interrupted by family members or coworkers, getting up early means that by the time you get to work or school, you’ve had (EXTRA) hours to properly acclimate yourself to the day.

2. You have more time on your hands! So, the way we rush for everything is insane! We rush to jump buses, trains, rush to work, rush breakfast. It is always a rat race. Waking up early makes it very easy to plan your life. I mean, while the world is rushing to make breakfast, you are already done with that and at a much more relaxed pace too. You’ll be more alert during peak hours, as a result, you’ll get more done!

A Cappuccino & Books Kinda Mood!

A book and a cup of coffee: two of the most comforting things in our modern lives. As the poet R.M. Engelhardt once wrote, “A smoke, a book, a cup of coffee. These are the little things that get us through this sometimes weary world and all the rainy days.”

I have a special love of books and coffee, the two pairing perfectly together. Coffee can be a pick-me-up to a dreary day; so can a book. Coffee can be the jolt you need to start on a new project; so can a book. The memory of a good cup of coffee will stay with you long after you’ve consumed it, and the same goes for a good book. I think the special connection between books and coffee is simple: ideas!!!

There is a connection between coffee and books that goes beyond the feeling of coziness induced when we wrap one hand around a warm mug and use the other hand to turn the pages of whatever we are reading. Books often serve a similar purpose, allowing us to detach from the world around us and dive into a new one. In that way, books can be our solace, and they require our undivided attention.

Reading “is a soothing experience.” Books require our focus, and coffee aids in that process; together, the two force us to slow down. And THAT is exactly my mood today- dive into a book, SLOW DOWN a bit & spend carefree hours reading with a cup of warm frothy coffee. :)

Book Review #135: The Naughty Proposal

Title: The Naughty Proposal
Author: Shanaya Taneja
Publisher: Shristi
Genre: Fiction
Total pages: 90

The book is an erotica. It revolves around four people Tara, Sneha, Dheeraj, Abhimanyu looking for some excitement in life without falling in trap of unnecessary love affairs. It is a small story which ends with a tricky suspense.

Some part that I didn't like was that story was incomplete, did not address one or two of the character well. Did not tell about how Tara and Abhimanyu knew each other, since how long were they in a relationship. The suspense was not disclosed well, only a few hints were dropped along the story.

While the storyline has elaborated and detailed erotica passages, the story is dull. Characters are built by specifying their personalities multiple times, instead of giving some background. No background, just forced character building.

The unexpected part was the twist at the end. Sometimes, being cautious and understanding the complete picture is better than giving in to the lure of mystery and novel temptation is the moral of the story. It is a definitely an adultery novel with a lot of detailed sex descriptions.

Coming on to the storyline. Except the climax parts, nothing was there that could hook you till the very end. There were some really good erotic scenes between Tara and Dheeraj, but when we talk about characterization, author totally forgot to work on it. It’s a pretty short book, but fast paced and you can enjoy it on a short journey or on lazy weekends, don’t expect anything exceptional, just wait till the climax. Language is very simple and you can easily connect with the characters. You get the feeling of watching a Bollywood movie.

The primary focus of story is on need(s); need for love and need for money. Weirdly this tries to portray all rich people as nice and craving for love; and all middle-class people using rich people for money.

Verdict: Ending could have been more descriptive. For me – I ended up feeling incomplete and ditched just like some of the characters in the book.

Ratings: 3/5

Why I Don't Wear Makeup Anymore!

Well, up until 2018, I used to love wearing makeup. But, that was a way of concealing my acne marks & a curiosity to try new makeup that my favorite influencer then promoted! Lol.

Mid 2018, I started taking care of my skin! Skin is your body's largest organ. It serves as a protective barrier between your insides and the rest of the world. I learnt, proper skin care is vital. It's about staying healthy. Taking care of your skin is not something you do ‘now and then’, but on a daily basis! How your skin will look in ten or twenty years, depends on the way you care for it now.

Skin is constantly growing and changing, so you have to remain vigilant in caring for it. Keep your skin hydrated by drinking plenty of water throughout the day and try maintaining a balanced diet. Always make sure to use sunblock if you're going to spend time outside. Once your skin is crystal clear, you’ll realize you no longer need more than maybe - a mascara and a lipstick. That’s all I use NOW. 

Makeup can only enhance your appearance. But good skin care can make you feel good even from within. Plus, when I don’t have a zillion step makeup routine, it takes me less time to get ready for work in the mornings. Also, you can’t rinse your face so often – in summer, in the sun, because of the heat the skin needs to breathe more and with makeup it can’t. You can’t rub your eyes- or else you know - Panda eyes!

Even for my wedding, I was adamant that I wanted to look like me — not some idealized version of myself that I’d be unable to maintain indefinitely. My partner was not marrying some “new and improved,” dyed, painted, or slimmer version of me, after all. I did wear makeup, but just as much as I would still look & feel like myself. 

While I do feel more polished wearing some cosmetic covering, I also see the potential within myself of not being able to face the world with my bare face. I remember days when I worked back then - I would follow each step from primer to lipstick & then makeup fixer, just to hide my acne scars. I didn’t want to become dependent on makeup. I don’t ever want to feel naked or unattractive without it.

I think that makeup can be a tool of misogyny. When it is not used from a perspective of self-love, makeup can breed bouts of self-hatred in women — or at least dissatisfaction. Makeup made me look for my face’s flaws rather than accepting my face as it is. I started to wonder what else / which products I need to improve or cover up with this or that color. Are my lips well enough defined? Do my cheeks have the right hue? Is my complexion all right?

We tell women that they’re beautiful and that they should love themselves. We tell little girls to have self-confidence and that they can be anything they want to be. But then, and often with the same breath, we suggest they can be beautiful (or confident) only when they are not quite themselves. We sell women (both young and old) products to “fix” or “improve” their appearance — wrinkle removers, concealers, eyelash enhancers, and other colorful cover-ups. We do. 

My final wish is - our society views makeup as an optional accessory as opposed to the required response to any perceived deficiency. I am a woman capable of self-confidence and self-love, and I no longer allow my face to feel like a façade.

“GROWING” in a relationship!

For me, “growing” in a relationship means the following:

• Your partner begins to see you more positively than you see yourself. You might be insecure about a feature or two about you, but they find you attractive always. They encourage you to be yourself.
• Your partner's good habits rub off on you—including health, finance, lifestyle, or psychological habits.
• Your relationship provides practical and emotional support that allows you to pursue your personal goals.
• You begin to persist hard things & difficult situations in life together - as two mature people. Such things grow you together and not apart.
• Your relationship helps you learn to trust that another person is dependable and emotionally available to you.
• When tiny things don’t hurt and resentments don’t creep up on you both - when there are no unspoken, unconscious issues present or overlooked in your relationship.
• When you have the best communication, you speak and listen to one another with intense presence, honesty, patience, and compassion.
• When there’s no comparison of what jobs people have, their homes, their clothes. When you don’t look to see what the grass looks like on the other side. You’re happy with the view out your own front door and you cherish that.
• One of the most important sentiments of human love is intimacy, that means, "in-to-me-see." Desire serves as the connection between love and sex that gets liveliness and spontaneity in your lives and in the relationship. Love is the best aphrodisiac.
• When playfulness, creativity, and commitment help you maintain your freedom that lets you breathe while also remaining deeply connected to your partner.
• When you do not let small anger accumulate & sort things before you call it a day.
• When you work together for a better life and repeat how grateful you’re for having each other around.
• When you share curiosity for same things & sometimes take an interest in what interests the other person too.
• When you go the extra mile for them, relationships cannot be 50–50 all the time. It has to be unconditional at times.