What Makes A Relationship Last Long?

1. The ability to compromise is important for success in many aspects of life; your romantic relationship will also thrive when you've both have honed your ability to give and take. A long lasting relationship requires flexible individuals who are willing to give a little (and sometimes a lot) to ensure mutual happiness. If you and your partner are good at finding solutions that make you both happy, it's a good indicator that you'll be successful in the future.
2. Couples that have similar values & share a common sense of curiosity are a lot more likely to make it long-term just as are couples that share similar goals!
3. Your arguments should actually bring you closer. You HAVE TO communicate to each other with kind words. Never don't hold grudges once you're done fighting.
4. When you’re not insecure about each other’s successes & support each other's goals.
5. When you forgive each others’ bad days. Have a short memory and a lot of forgiveness. Prioritize your partner over anything else.
6. When you have bad news, your spouse is the first person you want to tell -- not the person you most dread telling. Daily connection time is a MUST have!
7. To keep your relationship brimming, with love, whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut up. You still like them when you're angry.
8. Take that EXTRA effort equally.
9. When you challenge your old taught habits which might be snobbish like fighting over unmade bed, wet towels thrown carelessly on bed, etc. It’s not about being a neat freak, but c’mon, some things can be learnt & changed!
10. When you trust each other at all cost.

Book Review #83 : Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride's Soul

Book Author: Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen, Raksha Bharadia 

Language: English 

Publisher:  Westland Publisher (2011) 

A new addition to the popular Chicken Soup for the Soulseries, Chicken Soup for the Indian Bride's Soul is full of delightful insights into married life and the days preceding it. The heartwarming stories of an Indian wedding, the initial meetings in an arranged marriage, the hectic wedding preparations, the traditional rites and rituals, the new fumbling relationships with the in-laws, the gradual love and understanding between husband and wife, and the start of a new life are all brought to life in this book. Their distinct Indian flavor can help every Indian woman connect with these stories effortlessly. 

I love this book! I read it a few months back and I know, I would want to re-read it in the future as time goes on. It is an inexpensive, good quality, well written book you can gift to any of your near and dear relatives or girl friends who are about to get married! It's a great, insightful book for a bride-to-be, or any person in a relationship as a reminder of what's important in life and relationships. 

Nice little read in which reminds you why you are getting married. This book is equivalent to a good friend. It is a self help book with over 344 pages and specific sections, each section having little experiences/stories that women have shared. 

Chicken Soup for the Indian Brides Soul is for all you women, whether you’re newly engaged, recently married, or reflecting on years of married bliss. Stories of elopement, big fat Indian weddings, groom-hunting in arranged marriages, dealing with in-laws, wanting that jaw-dropping lehenga and having that perfect wedding day this collection will tug at your heartstrings, make you laugh, cry and perhaps see your family in a totally different light. Most importantly, this book will remind you of how strong the bond between couples in love can and must be if they are to share their lives together. 

Rating – 4/5

Nano Fiction 47 : Security & Independence

Being a strong, independent woman means that you are able to find happiness on your own. You have self-confidence without having to rely on another person or society for validation. It means emotional independence and learning to express who you are at your core.

Nevertheless, strong, confident women also, at some point wish for a man who is all giving; they want the door held open for them, a shared umbrella, an invitation to a date planned and paid for by the man in their lives.

A woman’s four basic needs are security, affection, open communication, and leadership. Every woman has a need to feel secure. This need derives from a basic human need for safety, security, and stability. To some, it’s financial security, to others it’s emotional security, and to others it’s physical security.

Women want to feel understood.  Women's thought lives are like computers, with multiple windows open and processing all at once.  Unlike men who can only process one thing at a time, women are constantly juggling multiple thoughts and emotions all at the same time.

Women want to feel emotionally secure.  Women want security.   Yes, financial security is important, but it comes second to emotional security.  Women do think about the house, bills, laundry, but feeling emotionally connected and close to the man in their lives; and knowing he is there for her, no matter what, is what really matters.

Women want to feel listened to.  Men, she doesn’t want you to fix it, she just wants you to listen.  Women want to feel beautiful.  She needs to know, deep within, that you find her beautiful and that you only have eyes only for her.  There may be many mirrors in your home, but the mirror that means most to your wife is you.

To build an ideal home is difficult. It's never easy. It must be challenging and many obstacles along the journey.

But, a perfect mixture of independence with security helps a long way. 

The Muslim Bride

I began to imagine my sister in the bridal look, I wondered how happy she will be when she is totally dressed up in the bridal attire, with jewels shining all along her neck, palms and forehead, her long straight hair with a maangtika in the middle and some gold thread running all along the length of her hair.

I continued to imagine her with her hair tied tightly and a single strand falling on her face from time to time, her eyes with mascara and eyeliner, which makes them appear darker and more beautiful, and was in total contrast with her fair skin. Her lips with blood red lipstick and gloss, which she bites from time to time, whenever she is nervous and her hands decorated with mehendi… Her arms covered with red, golden glass bangles, which jingle, as and when she moves to settle her hair and to wipe off even the tiny drop of sweat that appears on her face.

Everything makes her look like a real angel. And then I imagined her moving slowly towards the stage with her nervous, shy eyes…wearing that red lehanga with her groom!

Colors Of Love

When someone makes your life real rosy and bright. Adds colors to add vibrancy and aliveness. Too much happiness going on around you, no shades of gray or black...just pure vibrant colors to enliven your life. The feeling towards that someone is "Love".

Someone just arrives and who sprinkles the best spice in your life, doing away with all the dull moments and appreciates your presence, saying, "You're the best thing that ever happened to me".

You being an inspiration to someone, who is now able to see things in a new way, better than they had before, and shows you things differently too. You see things like you'd never seen them before, you learn to appreciate the rainbow, the glistening raindrops, the roll of the thunder, the flash of the lightning, the brilliant stars. That's when you learn to touch a leaf, to smell a flower, to lie on the sand, to watch the clouds.... 

Like adding a very important dimension to each other's existence. Making someone else's life go  topsy- turvy, in a good way.

In short, that's when you learn to see the beauty of life.

Nano Fiction 43 : Fights

Many a times we say or do things, we regret later. When we think later, we feel it wasn't necessary to spit that out. In a fit of momentary anger or disappointment, in an impulse, we do things that cause permanent damage.

Fights are an important part of a relationship. Because you know, they care, when they fight. But never let it overpower what you feel for each other.

I think, if he was a book,

He'd be the one I'd throw across the room,

Then hours later,

Pick up again and leaf through its pages.

He would tempt me to throw him, that's for sure..

But something about him, will always bring me back,

I know!

Nano Fiction 39 : Happy Anniversary

Have you assimilated someone's words like blood flowing in your veins? No bond is as beautiful as that!

It’s strange how this world works. It’s bizarre how you meet someone, a stranger - and after sometime, that same person becomes the most significant part of your life. Miracles are people. People, I believe, are the worst drugs of all.

You cannot live without them. And, that thought makes your bones wither into nothingness. It makes you rip your heart out of your chest. It makes you die - the thought "What after them?" You are so less without them.

That “I love you" from them makes your heart skip a beat, because in those 3 words, you can hear a reflection of their voice, honest eyes - screaming the same.

You are important to someone. You matter. When you get up, when you sleep, what you eat, how your day goes, what time you eat, all that matters to someone. That is true celebration of a relationship - meaning so much to someone.

Certain days are special than the rest. Anniversaries are milestones you reach in your relationship. Some celebrate in a splashy manner, some forget that the day has any significance altogether, some celebrate alone.

People celebrate engagement anniversaries, marriage anniversaries, etc. Of course, the day you were officially bound in a relationship with a person is significant. It is your commitment and loyalty towards each other - physically, mentally, emotionally.

An anniversary celebration allows you to pull back from your daily grind and relive a moment that changed your life forever. A day you always will remember, cherish and honor in your heart. Since that day, you go tied together, hand in hand through life, sharing everything together. A fairy tale begins, what is dream for others, is your reality. Celebrating year/years of togetherness further becomes a shared responsibility between two people to sustain that feeling for as long as you live.

Love is a miracle, sweet as can be,
That will always remain a complete mystery.
For though it is something that's centuries old,
It cannot be purchased for silver or gold.
But instead must be given of one's own free will,
And received with no promises it must fulfill.
And once it's exchanged in this time-honored way,
There's nothing that love cannot manage to say.
No problems too great and no problems too small,
For love, like a miracle, conquers them all.
And leaves in their place such a feeling of peace,
That joy, just like love, cannot help but increase!

Mushy Conversations : Trust

"To be trusted is a greater compliment than to be loved." --George MacDonald.

Love and trust,
Go hand in hand.
When together,
This dance is quite grand.

Whether a friendship, family relationship, business or personal partnership, any bond is built on trust. Without trust, you have nothing.

The kind of bond you need to create with your partner in order to enjoy a healthy, loving relationship begins with trust. If you're dating or married to a man or woman whom you're suspicious of, then not only are you suffering, your relationship is a sham. Trust is built slowly over time, but it can be shattered in an instant.

Honor your loved one by acting with integrity at all times for it is the glue that holds all relationships together. When people honor each other, there is a trust established that leads to synergy, interdependence, and deep respect.

The best proof of love is trust which is built and maintained by many small actions over time.

Ask yourself - Can someone trust you blindly and do you have one such person that you trust blindly? Is this bond stronger than people you don't really believe in the first time? Definitely, yes! Trust strengthens everything!

Love means jumping off a cliff and trusting that a certain person would be there to catch you at the bottom.

I’ve witnessed situations where couples would claim they love each other, but they wouldn’t trust one another. Without trust, I don’t think their love will ever reach its full potential.

How can you love someone fully and unconditionally, if you don’t trust that person? Building relationships strictly on infatuations is like building a house on sand.

Relationships seem so much peaceful and enjoyable when not only love but also trust is found at the core. I’m also not just talking about trust with regards to being faithful. But also trust regarding the decisions and choices we make, trust in our abilities and talents, and trust us as human beings that we will always have the best mutual intentions in mind. Many a times, we do something, and the other person takes it negatively, whereas we save them from drama or problems ahead. Before assuming things, TALK IT OUT. Never crush the trust between the two of you because of a slight weak moment.

I hope today’s post reminds us all of the importance of both love and trust in any successful relationship.

Until the next time, keep smiling, love more! 

Love, Aayesha.