Book Review #141 : Forgiveness Is a Choice

 

Imprint: Ebury Press

Published: Dec/2021

ISBN: 9780143450573

Length: 224 Pages

MRP: ₹299.00

The words such as forgiveness and peace have always represented abstract ideas and thoughts, something to be understood by the intellect rather than a viable experience. Kia, however, provides a more integrated wisdom that allows moving such concepts from the head to the heart. A potentially life changing approach with a deeper understanding of why I suffer, and how to gently let go, and later the realization of the true nature of things is presented in this beautiful book. 

Forgiveness, a priceless gift from the beloved presence dwelling within our hearts, is like a soothing balm for healing all our wounds. The pain we feel when we lose our home or other material possessions. The pain we experience in our body when we face a physical illness. The pain of separation from a loved one – from loss due to death of the body or the death of a relationship – so that our beloved is no longer part of our everyday social fabric. The pain we feel when we believe we have disappointed someone we love by our actions, or when we feel a sense of shame or regret and judge ourselves as failures.

We need the comforting presence of forgiveness to dry all our tears. Whenever we feel lost, confused, lonely, upset or disconnected, a steady practice of forgiveness anchors us in the truth of our being—a changeless, timeless, deathless, and birth less reality that is pure peace, love, and joy. In our fast-paced lives mired in space, time, and form where the only thing that is constant is change, forgiveness helps us shift our perspective, so we see our situation differently. Herein lies the true gift and healing that forgiveness offers. It is a medicine that we take and allow it to work inside us at a pace that is comfortable for us; we cannot and must not rush this process. However, it is our choice that only we can make. Only we have the power to choose forgiveness. While it may seem that we are forgiving another person or situation, in reality, it is we that are in most need of forgiveness.

The conscious choice made to not allow an unpleasant event to become frozen in our minds and hearts, but, to allow all the painful emotions to flush up in a safe space; the anger, the sadness, the hurt, the confusion – all must be bought into awareness. Only then can we go deeper into the peace, love, and joy that are buried underneath. This inner sanctuary of peace, love, and light can never be hurt or taken away from us. It is our treasure to claim hidden right underneath all the pain and darkness. And forgiveness can light our way, so we may fully allow this healing to truly wash over us, so we may feel whole once more – perhaps even stronger and more resilient than before. When we begin to practice forgiveness, the world becomes a better place to live. Forgiveness is essential to releasing fear and living in peace. In fact, forgiveness is the single most important thing we can do to create a life of love and happiness. This is the essence and teaching of this book.

This book is a practical guide to forgiveness. It reveals how we unconsciously carry old wounds into our daily lives, and then guides us through a simple process for identifying and releasing these emotions. An everyday approach to identifying hurts and angers in the moment and releasing them through forgiveness allows us to lead happier and stress-reduced lives.

The usage of simple words and lucid language helps to maintain coherence throughout the book. It is a manual for hard times - a gem, indeed! Anytime I'm unsettled, I know, I will turn to this book to feel grounded again. An inspiring book you MUST get. Also, a worthy gift you can give to anyone you love and care for. 

Review copy courtesy – PR, Penguin Random House India.

Book Review #140 : Written in the Stars

Book Name: Written in the Stars

Author: Divya Anand

Pages: 270

Genre: Romance Novel, Fiction

Price: 225 INR

Set in Bangalore, ‘Written in the Stars’ has a lot of interesting elements that bring the story beautifully together. The challenges of a start-up, the process of product design, everyday office politics, and unrequited love make it seem like just another day at work. However, the horoscope element gives the story a neat, unique, unexpected twist. Girl-bonding is the best thing at the centre of all this madness.

This book is a romantic comedy about whether life and love are shaped by your choices or are written in the stars. Sitara, the protagonist works for a start-up and is almost living on an edge to prove her worth for a promotion. And how she uses the marketing head Abhimanyu Singh's obsession with astrology to her advantage and later falls in love with him. Sitara must now choose what she really wants, a promotion or true love. The story revolves about Sitara's professional and personal life and how she balances the two. The book gives a real feel of corporate culture, over ambitious people, politics, love, hatred, deadlines everything you can think of. 

Author, Divya Anand has scripted the character Sitara in such a manner that every working girl can relate to it. The hassle of work-life balance, friends family balance, and boss, and employee balance. You get to see all the aspects of the urban woman in the book in a sync manner. The love aspect of the character is explored yet it is so subtle in the storyline. Sitara’s love interest, Abhimanyu in the story is adorable. Kavya is the darling friend we all need in our lives and Inaya is the all-knowing cute niece anyone would want to have around. Abhimanyu Singh, despite his strange astrology obsession, is irresistible. His self-assuredness and chiseled features make you fall head over heels in love with him.

‘Written in the Stars’ is a light-hearted, humorous book.  I totally admire the author's sense of humour. In many places you won't be able to stop yourself from laughing out loud. This book deals with every emotion and relationship so beautifully.

The astrology angle is interesting and adds the freshness required to help this book stand out from others in the genre. Haven't read such a relatable and laugh-out-loud funny book in ages. After months of working from home, I felt the familiar madness, tension and hilarity of office life - as if I were back in its midst.

Verdict: Divya has done a great job of creating characters, dialogues and adding a pinch of drama to the romance. The language is easily understood and the book is just the right length. The novel clearly picturizes today's corporate world in a very simple language. I always look for a positive ending and this book has given me the one. With a proper closure and happy ending, this book has won my heart. I strongly recommend this book as it is enjoyable, humorous and a fun read.

Rating: 4.5/5

Review copy courtesy - author.

Book Review #139 : Atomic Habits

In my humble opinion, this book is so good that I would like to file it under the elite category of books that can actually change your life!

In this book published by Penguin Random House India, the author focuses on “atomic habits” – a term that he uses to describe small improvements made on a daily basis so that small wins and tiny breakthroughs add up to noticeable change that can be celebrated. He builds out a nice 4-point framework for building habits and explains some good practices built around behavioral trigger that can help us reshape our lives.

Atomic Habits is a great book if you are looking for some prescriptive which will lay out a bunch of do’s and don’ts for creating new habits and breaking old ones. It is full of directly actionable advice. James Clear — presents in this book, very compelling arguments and examples from his in-depth research spanning multiple areas like sports, arts, science, business, history etc., to pick interesting nuggets that serve to push his framework. And his frameworks are very practical, with a good mix of examples and some thought-provoking life philosophies as well.

What is the reasoning behind the idea that tiny improvements made consistently are far more meaningful in the long run? The author offers a useful analogy. He writes, “Habits are the compound interest of self-improvement. The same way that money multiplies through compound interest, the effects of your habits multiply as you repeat them.”

It is not just pages of pep talk stuck together. It offers a step-by-step plan for building habits that can serve us for a lifetime. The author translates research into everyday language that can be grasped quickly. Another valuable suggestion is the practice of habit stacking, wherein you “tie your desired behavior into something you already do each day.” The author also suggests using habit trackers and accountability partners to help you. Perhaps the best way to use this book is to study the main principles, and not take the recommendations too literally. People live under different circumstances, and what autonomy means to one person may not mean the same to another. Do not miss the appendix because it has pointers for additional reading, and links to online resources for readers who are keen to understand how the ideas in this book work!

Overall, I recommend ‘Atomic Habits’ because of the way it blends in some practical tips with powerful stories that align with those tips. As someone who has been trying to change habits since quite a few years (and failing miserably), I concede that this book helps me take my efforts a bit more seriously. This definitely helped me not only increase awareness in matters like health & fitness and hobbies, but also made me create some systems around these that brought to life some intentionality into how I approach these. That, to me, is the biggest take-away, from this book. I’d strongly encourage you to pick up a copy and read the rest for yourself. If you’re struggling with your habits, this is very much a book for you.

Ratings: 4.8/5

Book Review #138 : The Right Escape

 

If you love to read small poetry or micro tales, this book is for you! This book is inspiring, relatable and profound.

A published book in your hands is someone's hard work, sweat and efforts. Hajra is a beautiful soul and it shows through her writing. This book is a perfect cosy winter read for a sore heart. Needless to say, I was baffled with what I found folded into the pages. I was expecting an inspirational slightly tacky read much like how I viewed poetry prior to this. What I found was vulnerability, startling bluntness, and a pure and raw story laced into the pages!

The poems are sweet and idealistic. Overall, I really enjoyed this compilation of poems and would totally recommend to anyone who is looking to heal from a bad experience in life. I do not subscribe to the belief that poetry must be difficult to be meaningful, hence, I truly enjoyed this book.

VERDICT – ‘The Right Escape’, is a ‘modern classic’, worthy to be read out loud, written in texts to loved ones, and learnt by heart. The reminder to appreciate yourself and to embrace love, separation and the process of self-discovery is timeless.

RATING – 4/5

 

Book Review #137 : yesterday i was the moon

It's been quite the minute since I last read a poetry collection, so when my eyes landed on this book on Amazon - I was beyond keen on diving in.

‘yesterday i was the moon’ is a collection of poetry by noor unnahar - it explores courage, self-love, culture and the struggles of making peace with your heart and art. it contains black & white photographs paired with poetry pieces; giving it a photo diary feels. 

I think I'll be revisiting this book again, it's so beautifully written. I least expected this but each & every line was soul-touching. I'd recommend this to anyone who is remotely interested in reading poetry, it's strange to see that the book is not hugely recognized, but it doesn't matter, as long as it touches the hearts of people it comes to hold off. 

The book does not revolve around a particular theme, rather it covers the art, home, society, courage, strength, acceptance and culture. This is written with emotion, honesty and poignancy. 

However, the book has more drawings in it than any other poetry book that I have read till date, which means it is very short on content. It’s only 160 pages and has drawings on every 3rd page (which makes it more personal, and almost like a journal). BUTTTTT, I wanted more content. 

Reading Noor's words, you can smell the scent of love, passion, anger, and truth on every page. Her poems will speak to your soul like they were written for you. 

Ratings: 4.5/5 (I craved more poetry!)

A Work In Progress!

We were supposed to have it all figured out by now, weren’t we?

We were supposed to know exactly what we wanted and exactly how to get it by now, isn’t that what we were told about being an adult? And then life happened.

As we got older we slowly realized that 95% of what we thought we were supposed to have figured out by now wasn’t anything close to what life is really about. Because the lives we are living are not finite. They are not written in stone. They are not stagnant. They are not about breaking through a certain threshold.

Our lives are one massive, gigantic, and sometimes overwhelming work in progress. There will never come a time when we are complete and finished human beings because the state of being complete and finished is the antithesis of what being human is all about.

Life is malleable. It is constantly throwing new things our way. Life is more a continuous learning experience than anything else. And, this is the way life will always be.

But this is not about how nothing is ever good enough or things are never finished. Products are finished. Books are finished. That project at work that everyone hated was finished. 

There will never be a time in this life where everything makes complete sense. There will never be a time in this life where we won’t struggle at least a little bit. There will never be a time in this life where we are finished working on ourselves. There will never be a time in this life where we have everything figured out. These things will never come to pass because existing consciously necessitates work.

There will always be things that we can get better at. There will always be things that challenge us. There will always be mistakes that we want to correct.

Though the idea of every person on this earth being a continual work in progress may seem daunting, it’s important to understand that this will always be the case. There is no finished state to a human being. And it is the act of understanding this reality that keeps us open to life and the possibilities that come from accepting the nature of being human.

The second we feel like we have everything figured out is the second that we no longer give life the chance to change our minds or enlighten us. The second we feel like we are no longer a work in progress is the second we stop making progress.

And the most progress is often made when we are among our hopes and dreams and side projects and things that inspire us and things we want to change for the better. It is among these things where life exists in its purest form. And it is among these things where we usually realize we are a work in progress and we will always be a work in progress.

As unsettling as this idea might be, it is surely one of life’s most important challenges to understand that everything about who we are is not finite and will continue to evolve and grow as time continues to pass. It would probably be a much easier existence if this wasn’t the case, but the world would be substantially worse off if our lives weren’t a continual work in progress.

My Advice To Indian Teenage Girls!

I wish I knew some of these things in my teens or early twenties, my life would have been completely different. It takes a great deal of understanding to assimilate this post. I hope it helps!

1. Don't be like men. You are different. You are unique. You are a female and there is a difference. What do you do when you see pigs lying in the gutter? Will you go lie with them or you clean the place and make it habitable for the rest of you? Trying to imitate men in the name of equality is not a way to be.

2. If you want to, imitate good men, men that are a good mix of masculine and feminine, men that you want to be the father of your kids. Would you be proud of a father who drinks, smokes, is always concerned about his looks, men who belittle other men, is critical of everything and is financially irresponsible or too much into money, career, competition etc. Don't be like men, be a woman which men want to be like, who is a safe place for men to come to when they are done fighting their battles, women whom even men look up to.

3. Ladies, learn to distinguish between different kinds of attention. You don't want to be someone's past time, you should be someone people show reverence for. When they see you, they are filled with love and respect. They want their daughters to be like you. They want to have you not just in their beds but in their homes, in their hearts, in their life forever. 

4. As a woman, do not pull others down on your way up. When you reach to the top, give your hand to pull other women up. A community of empowered women is much needed to raise the collective consciousness of the society as a whole. Every time you belittle a woman, you expose an insecure part of yourself, learn to work on it.

5. A major reason for attracting toxic partners and tolerate shit is your deep seated insecurities. Your self worth should not depend on how beautiful and successful you are, how many men find you beautiful, how popular you are. Just your existence is worth a million bucks, you don't need to be “something” to be worthy of love and respect. Do not tolerate disrespect, abuse, toxicity to compensate for your imagined shortcomings.

6. Acknowledge the quiet guy sitting in the corner who you think is boring and under confident. He could be the one for you, give him a chance. Try to communicate with all kinds of people, know them, first impression is often the wrong impression.

7. Shed all the concepts that the society taught you. Unlearn. One of which is a concept of “independence”. No one is completely independent, we are all inter-dependent on each other. Having an income is great but don't try to do anything and everything all by yourself, it is exhausting, ask for help whenever you need. Feeling unsafe? Ask your brother to drop you, want to lift an heavy object? Ask your husband, men opening doors for you? Appreciate. Asking for help will not take away your independence. Similarly, don't misuse your financial independence as an excuse to feel superior, being rebellious, immature and outspoken. Learn to use your intuition and wisdom in every situation. Learn balance of everything!

8. Don't tolerate mediocre things in life. Recognize the divinity within you. It has nothing to with size, color of your skin, clothes you wear, feminine is innate to our existence, our bodies are perfect ground for seeds of femininity to sprout, when in tune with our divinity, we are more at peace, more patient, more grounded, sensual, full of love, compassion, empathy. People can't help getting drawn towards us. No, it is not submission, not helplessness, not cowardice rather opposite, it is empowering, it is liberating, it is fearless way of living.

9. When in self doubt, look into the mirror and for once just once try to look beyond the physical, beyond your thin hairs and thick nose, beyond your saggy skin and bat wings, beyond your love handles and thunder thighs. Beyond the superficial color your skin, you are a divine being radiating colorful lights, encompassing the entire universe within you. You are just that, nothing less. See it, embrace it. Be it. 

Love.