My Advice To Indian Teenage Girls!

I wish I knew some of these things in my teens or early twenties, my life would have been completely different. It takes a great deal of understanding to assimilate this post. I hope it helps!

1. Don't be like men. You are different. You are unique. You are a female and there is a difference. What do you do when you see pigs lying in the gutter? Will you go lie with them or you clean the place and make it habitable for the rest of you? Trying to imitate men in the name of equality is not a way to be.

2. If you want to, imitate good men, men that are a good mix of masculine and feminine, men that you want to be the father of your kids. Would you be proud of a father who drinks, smokes, is always concerned about his looks, men who belittle other men, is critical of everything and is financially irresponsible or too much into money, career, competition etc. Don't be like men, be a woman which men want to be like, who is a safe place for men to come to when they are done fighting their battles, women whom even men look up to.

3. Ladies, learn to distinguish between different kinds of attention. You don't want to be someone's past time, you should be someone people show reverence for. When they see you, they are filled with love and respect. They want their daughters to be like you. They want to have you not just in their beds but in their homes, in their hearts, in their life forever. 

4. As a woman, do not pull others down on your way up. When you reach to the top, give your hand to pull other women up. A community of empowered women is much needed to raise the collective consciousness of the society as a whole. Every time you belittle a woman, you expose an insecure part of yourself, learn to work on it.

5. A major reason for attracting toxic partners and tolerate shit is your deep seated insecurities. Your self worth should not depend on how beautiful and successful you are, how many men find you beautiful, how popular you are. Just your existence is worth a million bucks, you don't need to be “something” to be worthy of love and respect. Do not tolerate disrespect, abuse, toxicity to compensate for your imagined shortcomings.

6. Acknowledge the quiet guy sitting in the corner who you think is boring and under confident. He could be the one for you, give him a chance. Try to communicate with all kinds of people, know them, first impression is often the wrong impression.

7. Shed all the concepts that the society taught you. Unlearn. One of which is a concept of “independence”. No one is completely independent, we are all inter-dependent on each other. Having an income is great but don't try to do anything and everything all by yourself, it is exhausting, ask for help whenever you need. Feeling unsafe? Ask your brother to drop you, want to lift an heavy object? Ask your husband, men opening doors for you? Appreciate. Asking for help will not take away your independence. Similarly, don't misuse your financial independence as an excuse to feel superior, being rebellious, immature and outspoken. Learn to use your intuition and wisdom in every situation. Learn balance of everything!

8. Don't tolerate mediocre things in life. Recognize the divinity within you. It has nothing to with size, color of your skin, clothes you wear, feminine is innate to our existence, our bodies are perfect ground for seeds of femininity to sprout, when in tune with our divinity, we are more at peace, more patient, more grounded, sensual, full of love, compassion, empathy. People can't help getting drawn towards us. No, it is not submission, not helplessness, not cowardice rather opposite, it is empowering, it is liberating, it is fearless way of living.

9. When in self doubt, look into the mirror and for once just once try to look beyond the physical, beyond your thin hairs and thick nose, beyond your saggy skin and bat wings, beyond your love handles and thunder thighs. Beyond the superficial color your skin, you are a divine being radiating colorful lights, encompassing the entire universe within you. You are just that, nothing less. See it, embrace it. Be it. 

Love. 

Book Review #134 : Dented & Painted

The anthology “Dented & Painted” comprises of 23 remarkable short stories. The cover of the collection is beautiful and attractive. The collection is penned down by author Tirupathi Khemka. This book is a must read for all humans due to the depleting mentality of our society. Harsh reality is portrayed that shows you the mirror unto society. 

Dented & Painted is appalling in its tone and subject. The stories begin with the opening lines in italics which store in them the essence of the whole story and ends with question marks that leave your mind ticking. These life changing stories shake the insides of your soul. It deals with some of the highly sensitive issues prevailing in our society at large. Each story is instilled with sheer pain, misery & struggle. The complexities of women’s life, how they are tortured, subdued, and tormented, and how they fight back are narrated by the author. The language is bold and comprehensive. On the whole, the collection is nicely compiled and stories are engrossing and have a power that grips you from within. As you continue reading these stories, you develop a strong sense of connection with the theme of feminism. The author has poured his heart into these stories. 

‘Male chauvinist pigs’ are well-exposed. The mind-blowing stories are an eye-opener and make you question so many things. The narrative is quite strong and details are well written. Sometimes the pace gets fast, though the emotions are well maintained. True reality is pictured which pinches you somewhere, depicting the cruelty of patriarchal society in which we continue to live. The stories expose a wide horizon of themes from prostitution to rapes, women as victims to women as fighters, the sufferings of women to struggles of women, women as creators to the women as destructors, the divine to the not so divine women, and many more. I can't get a few stories out of my mind; they were very impactful. I felt proud of a few ladies, yet felt sad for some. 

Dented & Painted is a complete page turner. It leaves your eyes moist with tears and you feel how crippled you have become by letting others dominate you and decide things for you. The author has made very interesting and keen observations before penning down each one of these wonderful pieces of writing. Kudos to him for his brilliant attempt! He proved the power of pen and the wonders that it can do. 

Ratings: 4.5/5

Pricking Questions Women Are Asked

People are pressuring left and right for marriage?

Being asked of “when are you giving us the good news” constantly?

Nosy Aunties around??

Our societies have a lot to change. It is slowly changing, which is good. A lot of cultures have this problem but women are taking more of a stand. I love bringing up topics like these, as women can be traditional yet still take a stand on their lives. Some people refuse to change their mentality and instead are so tunneled visioned.

No matter what, it is painful to be asked this question, especially by strangers. Women need to be more empathetic towards each other and need to support when such things happen. I just wish that all women had the freedom to choose who and what they want in life rather than it being forced up on them. Give women the space and freedom to decide what's best for them.

We as women can do and be anything. But if you are not married and then have kids shortly after society looks at you as a failure. Why can’t a married woman get blessings like may you travel the world OR get successful OR stay healthy OR stuff life that? It is just plain rude, insensitive and also very sexist to ask women these questions. We as women can do and be anything. Maybe it's not just an Indian thing.

Magazines are always circling bumps around Jennifer Aniston's stomach and wondering if she is preggers. This is a worldwide madness, I suppose. Mainly because everyone is always looking at other people and wondering about their lives and curious about their private lives, that's just how most people are. Unfortunately we cannot control the way people think or what they say. We can control the way we react to this. It is going to happen WHEN and IF I want! Simple! Don't bog someone down for a piece of gossip! Just let HER be.

Do not take your own for granted and most definitely mind your own business! My thoughts are unless the woman makes a formal statement that she is pregnant you shouldn’t assume or start congratulating someone. I know a lot of women suffer from fertility issues and being hounded about having a child adds to an already stressful situation. People are more worried than you as to why you aren't married even when you are 26/27../30?!

And women need to unlearn the art of looking down upon other women. Let's make the world a better place. It's time to change the nosy mentality. If I spoke your mind, please be generous and share the post and comment your views on this, so that my and your voice reaches to maximum people and they should know that they must stop bothering about other's private affairs.

Lots of love from me!

Body Shaming #YouAreEnough #SayNoToBodyShaming #TabooTalk

The action or practice of humiliating someone by making mocking or critical comments about their body shape or size or complexion is ‘body shaming’. 

Did you ever stop and think about how often we are told to change our appearance? Magazines constantly offer tips about how to lose weight “in days,” appear slimmer “instantly,” and hide our “imperfections”… without actually knowing anything about us, much less our appearance. This is one example of body-shaming, and it is everywhere. 

Sitcoms so frequently use overweight characters’ bodies as the basis of many of the show’s jokes. It has become the norm to criticize aspects of our bodies as some type of bonding experience with friends. Body-shaming (criticizing yourself or others because of some aspect of physical appearance) can lead to a vicious cycle of judgment and criticism. It is said that it is desirable to look slimmer, smaller, and tanner. And if we don’t, we worry that we are at risk of being the target of someone else’s body-shaming comments. 

Body-shaming manifests in many ways: 

1) Criticizing your own appearance, through a judgment or comparison to another person. (i.e.: “I’m so ugly compared to her.” “Look at how broad my shoulders are.”) 

2) Criticizing another’s appearance in front of them, (i.e.: “With those thighs, you’re never going to find a date.”) 

3) Criticizing another’s appearance without their knowledge. (i.e.: “Did you see what she’s wearing today? Not flattering.” “At least you don’t look like her!”). 

No matter how this manifests, it often leads to comparison and shame, and perpetuates the idea that people should be judged mainly for their physical features. Learn to accept yourself and boost your self esteem and lift others up. 

I would love to know your thoughts and experiences about it, comment below how you dealt with it. Is body shaming an issue you have encounter? Let’s make it interactive, please! Hopefully, the trend will begin to shift from body-shaming to celebrating women of all sizes, shapes & colors.